Dr. Phelan offers no-nonsense advice for those of us struggling to find ways to discipline our children that don't involve spanking.
Step 1: Controlling Obnoxious Behavior: Learn an amazingly simple technique to get the kids to STOP doing what you don't want them to do (whining, arguing, tantrums, sibling rivalry, etc.)
Step 2: Encouraging Good Behavior: Learn several effective methods to get your kids to START doing what you want them to do (cleaning rooms, picking up, going to bed, homework, etc.).
Step 3: Strengthening Your Relationship: Learn four powerful techniques that reinforce the bond between you and your children.
This is no (as my dad would say) "mamby-pamby" book filled with cliches and sentimentalities. This is good, solid advice that actually WORKS! Within 24 hours, my home was already more peaceful. 6 months later, my three children still aren't little angels, but they are much better behaved and our home is SO much more peaceful without the cycle of Talk-Persuade-Argue-Yell-Hit Syndrome (as Dr. Phelan calls it).
If you think you've tried everything, and your kids still aren't behaving the way you'd like, I HIGHLY recommend 1-2-3 Magic! What have you got to lose but the time spent reading?
This is a must-read for parents of difficult 3-year-olds. The "counting" technique for stopping unwanted behavior is very simple and logical. What makes this book better than so many others is that the author gives lots of examples of how your child will test you, and provides appropriate responses. He also shows empathy for how aggravating it can be as a parent, and illustrates what will happen if you give your reactive response rather than the quiet, calm response.
After only a couple of days of applying the "counting" technique, my child's behavior is much-improved. Our house is much more peaceful, I'm less aggravated, and my daughter is clearly learning that when I say "Don't do that", I mean it! My relationship with my daughter is improving already, and I'm optimistic it will get even better as we continue to use the counting technique.
In addition to the "counting" method for stopping unwanted behavior, there are many other techniques (such as for encouraging a desired behavior) I will be able to apply as my child gets older. The author provides lots of insight as to what it is reasonable to expect from a child of a certain age, which is invaluable.
Totally loved it! My pediatrician lent it to me and I read it in just a few sittings, I kept it for almost 2 months and refered back to it often. I then got my own copy as I found myself (and my children) doing better at it, if I was consistantly reading it or refering back to it. A must read!