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Topic: Alan Savage

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Subject: Alan Savage
Date Posted: 12/15/2010 6:47 AM ET
Member Since: 7/15/2008
Posts: 4,035
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Oh what the heck, I'm not aware that he's got a thread here and since I'm stupid enough to read another of his historical entertainments (cough) I'll share some quotes and thoughts here. Haven't got too far yet and already,

 Queen of the Night (Paperback) by Alan Savage  "Certainly the the excitingly strange sensations I had earlier experienced returned in greater measure, but all suggestion of pleasure ended when Roberto proceeded to kneel between my thighs, and I realised that I was about to be lanced by his enormous weapon...who was kissing my face and mouth with great intensity while he surged back and forth within me, seeming to be slitting me from arse to tit."

Our girls are still very very very young at this stage.

 

Date Posted: 12/15/2010 11:01 AM ET
Member Since: 1/12/2008
Posts: 1,356
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Oh, my.............

Date Posted: 12/15/2010 11:21 AM ET
Member Since: 7/15/2008
Posts: 4,035
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I bailed, so there will be no more on this book. You can read my reviews of the Eleanor books here,

http://shelfofshame.wordpress.com/2010/05/11/eleanor-of-aquitaine-by-alan-savage/ 

http://shelfofshame.wordpress.com/2010/05/11/queen-of-love-by-alan-savage/ 

 

Date Posted: 12/15/2010 12:10 PM ET
Member Since: 3/14/2009
Posts: 9,174
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Do you need spackle?cheeky

Date Posted: 12/15/2010 12:30 PM ET
Member Since: 7/15/2008
Posts: 4,035
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No, I had enough will power not to throw it against the wall. Besides, my little Misfit is a serious fraidy cat. That kind of noise would send her under the bed for hours.

I ever tell you the story of her getting stuck in the paper bag? She was in hiding so long after all that trauma I thought she'd died of fright.

Date Posted: 12/15/2010 12:42 PM ET
Member Since: 3/14/2009
Posts: 9,174
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No you didn't poor baby!frown

Date Posted: 12/15/2010 1:07 PM ET
Member Since: 7/15/2008
Posts: 4,035
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No you didn't poor baby 

Yes, she was a pitiful thing. Back in late '08 I was hobbling around with a walker due to busted knee. I had used a small paper sack with handles to cart my meal into the other room (needed both hands on the walker you see). It was laying on the floor forgotten until all of a sudden the thing literally FLEW from the room I was in into the living room. I hobbled as quick as I could and followed but couldn't tell where she was. Finally spotted her behind the entertainment center and I'm scratching my head trying to figure out how to save her. Poked her (the bag) with a broom handle and got her to jump up to the opening for the TV. She's still stuck and much as I wanted to just grab her and get her out of the sack she was in such a state I risked being clawed to death. She managed to *fly* again on her own (with sack still in tow) and ran for behind the dresser where she finally lost the sack. Stayed under there for hours and hours, the poor dear.

She was a feral kitten once upon a time separated from her family and lost in the warehouse at work with all those trucks and forklifts so she's a bit of a drama queen at times.

Date Posted: 12/17/2010 2:35 PM ET
Member Since: 8/12/2005
Posts: 809
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I think I've mentioned before about Alan Savage's writing: Smut can be fun, but this isn't even GOOD smut.

Don't want to dwell overlong on the mental picture the quote above conjured up. surprise

Re: Misfit. Poor kitty! But hilarious at the same time. Sounds like the kind of mishap our Bella would get into, but she'd just sit in the middle of the room afterward & calmly clean herself like nothing happened.

She's a bit of a daredevil. Twice she has launched herself from the floor up to the back of our office desk chair with such speed, she knocked the chair over with a resounding crash. Then there was the time she just HAD to investigate an overstuffed closet and try to squeeze herself in. Books, boxes and I don't know what else came tumbling down around her. She DID run off after that episode, but was soon strolling back into the room like nothing happened.

Date Posted: 12/17/2010 2:56 PM ET
Member Since: 7/15/2008
Posts: 4,035
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I agree, Savage isn't even good smut. To be honest it feels more like he's trying to get his fantasy kicks out in the sex scenes he's written. You just would not believe who he had Eleanor sleeping with, including the Empress Matilda.

Felicia, it is funny and sad at once isn't it? I love the pickles they get themselves into at times. Misfit also has a bad habit of waltzing in front of the monitor furry-purrying and swishing her tail. That is, until she knocks over the water bottle and scares herself silly again.

She was a bit of a feral kitten separated from family and spent some weeks in the warehouse here at work with the forklifts and trucks buzzing around so she's a bit overly sensitive to all things noise and scawy.

Date Posted: 12/27/2010 8:04 PM ET
Member Since: 3/8/2009
Posts: 6,035
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The awful book has arrived! The beautiful bookmark more than makes up for how ever many awful pages I have to read. Thank you so much, Cathy! As soon as I finish the EC book that I am reading, I will do my duty and then pass it on!



Last Edited on: 12/28/10 9:17 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 12/27/2010 8:42 PM ET
Member Since: 7/15/2008
Posts: 4,035
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Christa, glad you liked the bookmark. You wouldn't believe the styles and designs that man puts out.

Date Posted: 1/1/2011 12:50 AM ET
Member Since: 3/8/2009
Posts: 6,035
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I have completed my duty!  The book arrived marked at page 118 and I read to page 157.  I'm sorry but 39 pages was all I could stand of this mess.  Let's see....in those 39 pages, our heroine was tortured and raped on a rack, she watched several other people be tortured and she helped Queen Joanna be locked in a chastity belt before her husband went off to war.  The husband's excuse for not wearing a chastity belt of his own was that he wouldn't be able to ride a horse.  Hmmmm...not sure it was a horse he was wanting to be riding.  devil

Let's see....what other choice morsels did we learn.  Ah yes...our heroine was quite observant in noting that men were always stripped naked before public torture and therefore she noticed that there is always below-the-belt "action" when a man is hanged and when he is made to sit on a metal chair of spikes with burning coals below it.

Other women did not escape the public torture.  Two women were paraded through town to their burning on a pyre while their guards slice portions of their flesh off and flung them to the crowd.  "The bloodthirsty mob soon began to dictate which dainty morsels they most preferred, and when a sliver of nipple or buttock was hurled at them, they fought like mad dogs to obtain such a memento of the day's work."

However, our heroine is not totally without merit and in some ways, might fit in with the rest of us here.  After a particularly trying day, she was attempting to get home rapidly "to have a glass of wine, or perhaps a bottle of wine, and try to shut out the horrid scene I had just witnessed."  I believe that I have that same feeling most days after battling the snarl of afternoon traffic after work.  And upon lying through her teeth, she philosphized "If one believes in a forgiving God, one must give Him something to forgive, from time to time."  Interesting theology.

It was indeed the most wretched thing I have ever read.  I have already obtained a lovely bookmark and am ready to pass the "torch"-ure to Letty as soon as she sends me her address!

 

 

Date Posted: 1/1/2011 12:59 AM ET
Member Since: 7/22/2009
Posts: 2,617
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Letty, after that description, if I were you, I wouldn't be sending Christa my address!!

Date Posted: 1/1/2011 2:11 AM ET
Member Since: 3/14/2009
Posts: 9,174
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Yikes!  Alright a deal is a deal.  I'll pm you my address now.  

ETA How many pages is it and who is next?  I promise to get a really really good book mark!!  Really I promise!



Last Edited on: 1/1/11 6:36 AM ET - Total times edited: 2
Date Posted: 1/1/2011 8:14 AM ET
Member Since: 7/15/2008
Posts: 4,035
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cheekyHehe, they'd better be good bookmarks. It seems to me Savage likes to get his sexual fantasies out in his writing. He also writes under the name Christopher Nicole. Has anyone read those books?

PS, when we were discussing Savage at HFO, another poster added this link to info on Joanna and a mention of the Savage novel, http://faculty.ed.umuc.edu/~jmatthew/naples/Joans.htm 

Date Posted: 1/1/2011 8:49 AM ET
Member Since: 3/8/2009
Posts: 6,035
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I checked out that link, Cathy.  I don't think "entralling" would be the word to describe this book.  "Appalling" maybe, but not "enthralling".  LOL!

Letty, the original deal was 30 pages.  I read a few more because I was on my exercise bike and lost track of where I was.  It did make the time on the exercise bike go by faster!

Date Posted: 1/1/2011 9:02 AM ET
Member Since: 7/15/2008
Posts: 4,035
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 "torch"-ure  

Love that word BTW.

Date Posted: 1/5/2011 2:32 PM ET
Member Since: 3/14/2009
Posts: 9,174
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Okay the dreaded book Queen of the Night arrived today.  The bookmark is so cool.  I will get to this in a few days and I will have to go shopping for a really great bookmark!  So who is after me?  I need your address!

Date Posted: 1/5/2011 3:54 PM ET
Member Since: 1/12/2008
Posts: 1,356
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it might be me.....i can't remember

Date Posted: 1/5/2011 3:59 PM ET
Member Since: 3/14/2009
Posts: 9,174
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Alright Colleen, your it.  Please PM me your address.  Your so brave!cheeky

Date Posted: 1/5/2011 4:54 PM ET
Member Since: 3/8/2009
Posts: 6,035
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The bookmark is the best part of this!  I love the one that came from Cathy.  The one I sent to Letty is a little bulky for every day use, but looks really nice hanging out of a coffee table book or a book displayed on a bookshelf.  It was made by the same artist that made the hand-crafted sugared cranberry soap that I sent in my Secret Santa package.  She is a very talented lady.  I hate people like that.  LOL!

I don't think anyone has volunteered after Colleen.  We need more volunteers 'cause we certainly don't want to have to do a second round!

Date Posted: 1/5/2011 6:07 PM ET
Member Since: 7/15/2008
Posts: 4,035
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Glad you liked that Christa, the artist has so many styles to choose from it's darn near impossible to pick. I wanted them all.

Date Posted: 1/5/2011 11:53 PM ET
Member Since: 3/14/2009
Posts: 9,174
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I will post a pic of it as soon as I can.

Date Posted: 1/6/2011 10:53 PM ET
Member Since: 3/14/2009
Posts: 9,174
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This is the way cool book mark Christa sent me, I feel so spoiled!!

 

 

 

 



Last Edited on: 1/6/11 11:00 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 1/7/2011 11:52 AM ET
Member Since: 3/14/2009
Posts: 9,174
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What have I learned,?  Never and I mean never read Alan Savage.  My part was ridiculously boring.  The girls are being fitted for chastity belts as their husbands are off to war. Leaving them to hold down the fort.

" In this case, she realized that the two men whom the pair of us loved more than any others were desirous that we should incarcerate our private parts until their return, and that if we did not humor them they should depart most unhappily and had a war to fight and win".

Then within the next day the Empress Catherine De Valois dies in Naples?  HUH?  How she get there when she wasn't born until 1401.  Oh this must be another Catherine.

Then he throws about 15 pages of dates, and historic happenings at you.  Joanna and Richilde must flee Naples to Provence and to the Pope in Avignon,  Joanna is made to stand trial for the murder of her first husband Robert (this is the reason for the war).  She and Richilde are reunited with their husbands.  She also has the  time to clean up Avignon making all the prostitutes  go into a great big brothel. 

It may be supposed that the Queen would have had some difficulty in discovering a good woman prepared to undertake so onerous and surely distasteful a duty, but on the contrary - it was a matter of turning the eager nuns away.   (eye roll)

She is tried and the Pope is charmed by not only Joanna but Richilde as well, before he can make his ruling he must speak to them alone...........

Well Colleen your it.  I will send this out Monday!

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