Jennifer P. (jenners) reviewed Bad Mother A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes Minor Calamities and Occasional Moments of Grace on + 121 more book reviews
Helpful Score: 3
Overview
Subtitled "A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities and Occasional Moments of Grace," Bad Mother is a warts-and-all look at Waldman's experiences as a mother. (She has four children.) These types of books are like catnip to me. What mother doesn't want to learn that she is not alone in her misgivings about her mothering skills?
Waldman writes openly and honestly about a wide variety of topics, including:
* pursuing a career versus staying at home (Waldman gave up a high-powered career as a lawyer to stay-at-home ... only to find herself often bored out of her mind! HAHA! Don't I know it!)
* balancing household chores and sex roles with your partner (Can we ever really break through the "this is woman's work" and "this is men's work"?)
* breast-feeding (more on this below)
* judging other mothers (more on this below)
* the mother-son relationship and how it affects the relationship with your mother-in-law (I still don't quite measure up to how my husband's mom used to take care of him ... especially when he is sick.)
* dealing with your children's homework (where do you draw the line?)
* projecting your own fears and hopes on your children (Waldman writes about her outrage and subsequent attempt to ban dodgeball in her children's gym class ... but her children loved it. She was fighting a fight from her own childhood.)
* dealing with daughters and sex issues (Waldman explores her own sexual history ... and how she hopes her daughters don't make the same choices she did.)
* having an abortion for a child who might be born with genetic defects (This chapter, entitled "Rocketship," is easily the most heart-breaking and difficult to read.)
* arguing in front of your kids (They are listening ... don't fool yourself that they are not.)
* how honest to be with your kids (Just how do you handle the sex/drug talk if you want to be totally honest about your past but impart a "do as a I say, not as I did" message?)
* being a different mom for different kids (In other words, how she wasn't the same mother she was for her first-born as for her last-born.)
* handing down a genetic legacy to your children that is less than perfect (Waldman writes about her own bipolar disorder and fear of passing it to her children.)
* parenting a child who might be gay (This felt like the least genuine chapter to me; it felt more like a political essay than a personal one.)
* baby lust (Those tiny baby feet will get you every time!)
* wanting to protect your children from the ugliness of the world (This is an issue that Mr. Jenners and I struggle with. There is a fine line between keeping your children safe and making them "street savvy" and scaring them into thinking the world is an unsafe, bad place.)
* managing your expectations/hopes/dreams for your children. (I struggle with this every day, and I imagine it is only going to get worse.)
As you can see, the book ranges over a wide variety of topics and delves into some deep and emotional issues. I admire Waldman's honesty and directness. She really put herself out there with this book. I suspect that if you don't share Waldman's basic worldview (liberal), you might not care for much of what she has to say or appreciate where she is coming from in life. Yet I think most mothers would find some area of common ground with Waldman, and I think her message of "let's all be gentler with ourselves and one another" is one we should all take to heart.
Structurally, the book is divided into 18 different chapters, with each one functioning as a stand-alone essay. Most of the essays are very personal and specific to Waldman's life and background; yet I think she has a knack for making her personal experiences relatable.
My Final Recommendation
This is a thought-provoking and honest look at motherhood that will give readers lots to think about. Waldman doesn't hold back anything, and I appreciated her candidness and openness. I've read a few books on motherhood, and I found this to be one of the most provocative. The writing is good (even if she does tend to meander a little bit), and she has a very conversational writing style. She is often funny and flippant, which balances out the more emotional moments. If this is a topic of interest to you, I would categorize it as a "must read." However, Waldman's views come from a more liberal, feminist angle so if this doesn't mesh with your worldview, this book might not be the best choice for you. I'm giving it 4 stars.
Subtitled "A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities and Occasional Moments of Grace," Bad Mother is a warts-and-all look at Waldman's experiences as a mother. (She has four children.) These types of books are like catnip to me. What mother doesn't want to learn that she is not alone in her misgivings about her mothering skills?
Waldman writes openly and honestly about a wide variety of topics, including:
* pursuing a career versus staying at home (Waldman gave up a high-powered career as a lawyer to stay-at-home ... only to find herself often bored out of her mind! HAHA! Don't I know it!)
* balancing household chores and sex roles with your partner (Can we ever really break through the "this is woman's work" and "this is men's work"?)
* breast-feeding (more on this below)
* judging other mothers (more on this below)
* the mother-son relationship and how it affects the relationship with your mother-in-law (I still don't quite measure up to how my husband's mom used to take care of him ... especially when he is sick.)
* dealing with your children's homework (where do you draw the line?)
* projecting your own fears and hopes on your children (Waldman writes about her outrage and subsequent attempt to ban dodgeball in her children's gym class ... but her children loved it. She was fighting a fight from her own childhood.)
* dealing with daughters and sex issues (Waldman explores her own sexual history ... and how she hopes her daughters don't make the same choices she did.)
* having an abortion for a child who might be born with genetic defects (This chapter, entitled "Rocketship," is easily the most heart-breaking and difficult to read.)
* arguing in front of your kids (They are listening ... don't fool yourself that they are not.)
* how honest to be with your kids (Just how do you handle the sex/drug talk if you want to be totally honest about your past but impart a "do as a I say, not as I did" message?)
* being a different mom for different kids (In other words, how she wasn't the same mother she was for her first-born as for her last-born.)
* handing down a genetic legacy to your children that is less than perfect (Waldman writes about her own bipolar disorder and fear of passing it to her children.)
* parenting a child who might be gay (This felt like the least genuine chapter to me; it felt more like a political essay than a personal one.)
* baby lust (Those tiny baby feet will get you every time!)
* wanting to protect your children from the ugliness of the world (This is an issue that Mr. Jenners and I struggle with. There is a fine line between keeping your children safe and making them "street savvy" and scaring them into thinking the world is an unsafe, bad place.)
* managing your expectations/hopes/dreams for your children. (I struggle with this every day, and I imagine it is only going to get worse.)
As you can see, the book ranges over a wide variety of topics and delves into some deep and emotional issues. I admire Waldman's honesty and directness. She really put herself out there with this book. I suspect that if you don't share Waldman's basic worldview (liberal), you might not care for much of what she has to say or appreciate where she is coming from in life. Yet I think most mothers would find some area of common ground with Waldman, and I think her message of "let's all be gentler with ourselves and one another" is one we should all take to heart.
Structurally, the book is divided into 18 different chapters, with each one functioning as a stand-alone essay. Most of the essays are very personal and specific to Waldman's life and background; yet I think she has a knack for making her personal experiences relatable.
My Final Recommendation
This is a thought-provoking and honest look at motherhood that will give readers lots to think about. Waldman doesn't hold back anything, and I appreciated her candidness and openness. I've read a few books on motherhood, and I found this to be one of the most provocative. The writing is good (even if she does tend to meander a little bit), and she has a very conversational writing style. She is often funny and flippant, which balances out the more emotional moments. If this is a topic of interest to you, I would categorize it as a "must read." However, Waldman's views come from a more liberal, feminist angle so if this doesn't mesh with your worldview, this book might not be the best choice for you. I'm giving it 4 stars.
Daria H. reviewed Bad Mother A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes Minor Calamities and Occasional Moments of Grace on
Helpful Score: 2
READ THIS BOOK. Its the most honest thing you'll read about about modern motherhood.
Stacy P. (21461) reviewed Bad Mother A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes Minor Calamities and Occasional Moments of Grace on + 38 more book reviews
Helpful Score: 1
After waiting for this book for a while I can honestly say it was a big let down. I'm glad I didn't pay full price. I was underwhelmed and uninterested.I won't be recommending it to anyone.
