ericjasongastelum - 7/23/2011 5:56 AM ET
. i want to follow [in] your mind ... you. 56 -> ∞
|There are billions of bits of random information burrowed in your head. My head however, is only sure of three things. Number one: It is dark. Number two: seven times eight is equal to fifty six. Number three: there should be significantly more in my head than numbers one and two.
***It was the time of day when it is dark inside and light outside. The sun was leaving so I went inside the house. Aunt Megan wanted me to eat dinner at precisely seven every night. Her child psychology books say that routine is good for children my age. I walk into the kitchen and see something strange. Instead of my dinner, I find Mrs. Jennings at the table. She wants to know if I am hungry. So I turn around and walk through the house- looking for Aunt Megan. By the time I got to my daddy’s room it was dark.
Lets address number one. It is dark, or shall I say it is black. The black is real. Aside from myself, the black is the only other entity- the only other thing in existence. It is not an evil creature or an empty one. Surprisingly I find it quite friendly. Seeing as it and I are the only things in existence, it only follows that I should attempt to make a companion of The Black.
***Mrs. Jennings and I are alone in the house. She says we will be there together for awhile. I don’t know if my aunt will come to me. Mrs. Jennings keeps asking me questions. I don’t like questions. Not at all. At school, my teachers know not to ask me questions. They know that I cant talk to them. I can’t talk to Mrs. Jennings either. She doesn’t get mad. She tucks me into my cold sheets and kisses me on the forehead. Her lips are dry. I fall asleep thinking about the blood on my daddy’s window.
There is something that I don’t know. I don’t know if I am awake or asleep. I remember waking and sleeping, I know the theory behind them. But after falling asleep and waking up and falling asleep and waking up they began to merge, and now I cannot distinguish between the two. I like this state. All the time you give up to sleep no longer exists! I can see The Black smiling with me at this delightful gift. More time to spend with my friend!
***I know how much time has passed since my daddy went to the hospital. It has been one hundred and seventy eight days. Aunt Megan only tells me that he is sick. When I ask about the blood on the window she sighs. And her sigh tells me everything I don’t want to know. Tomorrow it will be one hundred and seventy nine days. And Aunt Megan will take me to the hospital to see my daddy.
The time is stretching. I wonder. How long can you be left with only one other person and not run out of things to talk about? You already know that there are only three bits of information in my head. I have mentioned the quotient of seven and eight maybe thousands of time to The Black, although it is always very keen to hear and understand the math behind this wonderful number I wonder if it soon will tire. How long can my mind keep thinking three facts to itself and the black before it stops thinking of anything at all?
Seven times eight is fifty-six.
Fifty-six you say?
Ahhh… fascinating fact that.
My eyes ache.
My temples are pounding.
Five six seven eight
Seven eight five six
***I am angry. I am angry at my daddy for leaving me. My mother left me. Now my daddy has left me. Alone. Alone, Alone, ALONE! Suddenly I hear screaming coming from me. I can’t stop it. I grab my daddy’s wrist and shake it violently. “Its. My. Birthday!” I tell him. I am nine! CARE!
Five six seven eight nine.
I know Nine! I do! I feel The Black grab me excitedly around the wrist! I smile. Nine. Nine nine nine nine nine! There is nine! It comes after eight. HA! This shall keep The Black and I much entertained. The number nine is beautiful to me. Not just because it is new information, but because it proves something. Information exists. If nine has been here, all this time then what else is hiding in the black and I? Glorious potential!
***This is the day a miracle happens. My daddy smiled at me. His eyes were still closed but his lips moved into his happy smile. The one I used to see. The screaming stopped for the magic moment. The angriness left and I was left there. Just me. Looking at my daddy’s smile.
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