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I have a 13 year old and I would say no way. Lots of sex, several weird scenarios if I remember right with siblings discussing things that were downright uncomfortable. Plus it basically ends with one of the main characters sleeping with her brother in order to get pregnant. (At least that's the strong suggestion.)
I don't remember about the language. At least one and I think several characters are beheaded by the end.
It's a great book but I just think 13 is a little young but you know your child best. It isn't really so much a romance as it is a story about the complex machinations of the aristocracy in using their young daughters sexually as power pawns.