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Topic: Would this bother anyone else? (A vent)

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Subject: Would this bother anyone else? (A vent)
Date Posted: 11/15/2007 3:01 PM ET
Member Since: 3/1/2006
Posts: 436
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So yesterday I finally finish reading this book by a Harlequin author. I've read the author before and always find her books moderately enjoyable.

As I'm nearing the end of the book, maybe the last couple of chapters, I started to become aware of something. Those little tags that come after the dialogue.. Everyone know what I'm talking about? The 'he said' or 'he grinned', kind of tag.

Well, I suddenly realized that every other tag after the hero's dialogue was... 'he rasped.' Or, 'he rasped huskily.' Or, 'he rasped harshly.'

By the time I read the last page, I was soooo done with the book! I couldn't believe that an editor let the author do that! I mean, it was nothing but 'he rasped', all the way through. And just for the heck of it, I went back through some of the earlier chapters and saw other minor male characters had 'he rasped' as well! I was like, what, the author couldn't think of anything better than to have the men in the novel rasping?

While I consider myself a newbie writer, the one thing I remember my writing group discussing in somewhat detail was the voice tags. They said it was always good to have variety. Or, if you could help it, just put no 'he said' or 'she said' altogether. Especially if there were only two characters in the room.

Would this bother anyone else?

Natalie



Last Edited on: 11/15/07 7:38 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 11/15/2007 3:22 PM ET
Member Since: 12/28/2006
Posts: 49
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Yes that would bother me too.  As a matter of fact I did read one once where I noticed the same thing for a section but, thankfully, it didn't continue through the whole book.  Sounds like an editor got sloppy and someone needed a thesaurus.

Date Posted: 11/15/2007 6:07 PM ET
Member Since: 5/3/2006
Posts: 6,436
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Liz Carlyle overdoes rasping too. It does get annoying after a while. Unless the character had lung disease, give it a rest!

Date Posted: 11/15/2007 8:52 PM ET
Member Since: 5/7/2006
Posts: 5,295
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Unless the character had lung disease, give it a rest!

LMAO. "Honey bring me the oxygen tank!"

Date Posted: 11/15/2007 11:52 PM ET
Member Since: 7/14/2007
Posts: 8,942
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Unless the character had lung disease, give it a rest!

LMAO. "Honey bring me the oxygen tank!"

He smiled seductively into her eyes, as he lit a cigarette and placed it in the tracheostomy hole in his throat.  "Come give me a kiss, baby" he rasped. 

Date Posted: 11/16/2007 1:14 AM ET
Member Since: 12/21/2005
Posts: 1,012
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Stop, stop!!!  I'll never be able to read that phrase again without cracking up!

And yes, I can't stand when authors reuse the same few phrases (either in the dialogue tags or in descriptions)--it drives me batty.

For some reason I really dislike it when a kiss is described as "he slanted his lips across hers" or some other similar nonsense, and it's worse when it's described the same way every single time!

Date Posted: 11/16/2007 6:20 AM ET
Member Since: 12/4/2005
Posts: 2,320
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In the vampire/paranormal genre the guys are always "growling".   

LOL as the rasping trach hero:LOL:   

Slanty kissers would bug me too!

Date Posted: 11/16/2007 6:52 AM ET
Member Since: 10/24/2007
Posts: 1
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*RASP*  I must agree...

Date Posted: 11/16/2007 7:37 AM ET
Member Since: 2/24/2006
Posts: 5,498
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It would bother me too.  There's a few authors who overuse some terms - rasp, moaned, etc.    Makes you wonder.

Sherri

Date Posted: 11/16/2007 7:53 AM ET
Member Since: 1/11/2007
Posts: 1,646
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Had he just rescued someone from a fire?  Sounds like the author was trying to emphasize this, but there are more creative ways of doing so.

Date Posted: 11/16/2007 8:20 AM ET
Member Since: 10/14/2007
Posts: 134
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Thought this thread was funny until I picked up my book and started reading...the fool man is rasping all over the place.The first couple fo times I was chuckling,now I am starting to get a bit peeved and I am only half way through the book.

Date Posted: 11/16/2007 8:24 AM ET
Member Since: 5/7/2006
Posts: 5,295
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LOL.

"Your trach wheezing turns me on" he rasped

Date Posted: 11/16/2007 8:26 AM ET
Member Since: 12/8/2006
Posts: 29,785
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That is why I ignore the tags for the most part, unless I can't figure out who is speaking... I skim the books beacuse there are a lot of repeated things in a lot of them. Iris Johansen has a habit of making ALL of her characters have the same swear words, etc. Not everyone talks the same way!

Date Posted: 11/16/2007 9:04 AM ET
Member Since: 4/20/2006
Posts: 5,647
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I love Brenda Joyce, but my biggest pet peeve about her is that every single one of her female characters "cries" or "cries out" when she speaks.  IT MAKES ME CRAZY!!!  I try to ignore it, but my eyes gravitate towards it now, and I instantly think of her characters as whiney.  I would be thankful at this point if one of them would rasp for a change.

Date Posted: 11/16/2007 12:01 PM ET
Member Since: 7/14/2007
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Still - I've seen worse.  For a while several authors overused things like "The ship's on fire!" he ejaculated.

For some reason, I always lost my train of thought on those.

Date Posted: 11/16/2007 1:13 PM ET
Member Since: 3/1/2006
Posts: 436
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'He EJACULATED'? Oh, wow. That would make me roll my eyes. String me up by my toes if I ever use that one!

 

As for if that character I was reading had been in a fire...noooope. He was just talking to the heroine. Simple, normal conversation. The best was when i went back to previous chapters and saw the grandfather. ... 'You never mind that, boy,' his grandfather rasped.

 

I was like, oooooh, my goodness. Okay, I'm done.

 

I think that male character also 'snapped' a lot. I was like, is he angry or something?

 

Date Posted: 11/16/2007 3:36 PM ET
Member Since: 1/11/2007
Posts: 1,646
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ROFLMAO --- Sounds like the editor was asleep on that one!  What's wrong with "exclaimed" or just plain "said?"

Date Posted: 11/16/2007 4:22 PM ET
Member Since: 5/3/2006
Posts: 6,436
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"I love Brenda Joyce, but my biggest pet peeve about her is that every single one of her female characters "cries" or "cries out" when she speaks. "

 

Oh my, and what about the way they all sob through sex? I  can't believe not one of her heroes has ever screamed "JUST DRY UP ALREADY."

Date Posted: 11/16/2007 9:15 PM ET
Member Since: 5/7/2006
Posts: 5,295
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Yeah, a snappy man doesn't seem romantic to me. Maybe a raspy one without the trach and oxygen. =)

Date Posted: 11/21/2007 5:07 PM ET
Member Since: 7/26/2007
Posts: 662
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I know exactly what the original poster is complaining about LOL.  The same thing happened  to me, except the hero "muttered" his way through the whole book.... I mean all he did was mutter, I totally lost track of the plot, and ended up  nick picking the authors writing styles...  I kept saying to myself  " SPEAK UP!", sheesh...