Discussion Forums - Love & Romance Love & Romance

Topic: I consider myself broadminded enough--but there's one thing that squigs me

Club rule - Please, if you cannot be courteous and respectful, do not post in this forum.
  Unlock Forum posting with Annual Membership.
Subject: I consider myself broadminded enough--but there's one thing that squigs me
Date Posted: 11/22/2008 6:21 PM ET
Member Since: 11/18/2008
Posts: 9
Back To Top

It's when the passionate lovers awake in the morning for another go round and have passionate (read: deep) kisses.  --Before brushing their teeth?  Ack!  Is it just me or does anyone else find it a bit hard to swallow believe?   Reading that always puts me in a state of suspended disbelief.

Even the most scrumptious hero is going to have bad breath in the morning.

Just my thoughts and wondering if I'm the only one who finds it jarring.

LM

Date Posted: 11/22/2008 6:37 PM ET
Member Since: 4/25/2007
Posts: 11,466
Back To Top

Not only that, but I know I need to use the bathroom right away when I wake up.  I don't wanna kiss anyone or get intimate without doing that first!

Date Posted: 11/22/2008 6:39 PM ET
Member Since: 5/23/2008
Posts: 12,776
Back To Top

Same here, even in the old days didn't they at least have to pee first?  LOL!

 

Anne

Date Posted: 11/22/2008 6:40 PM ET
Member Since: 10/9/2007
Posts: 812
Back To Top
I'm right there with you both. Sexy-time can wait a few minutes!!
Date Posted: 11/22/2008 6:59 PM ET
Member Since: 1/14/2008
Posts: 7,333
Back To Top

Yeah, sex is not fun with a full bladder and stiny breath...ewwww.....but then again the books aren't very realistic to begin with (atleast the ones I'm reading aren't) ;)

Subject: I forgot about needing to go pee
Date Posted: 11/22/2008 7:29 PM ET
Member Since: 11/18/2008
Posts: 9
Back To Top

Really bad too! 

Since I am writing a romance I was interested if others get that ack! and the dreaded "Suspension of Disbelief" when they run across a first flush (pardon the pun) of morning sex scene--I cannot imagine myself 'in it' so I cannot imagine my heroine and by extension my hero engaging in such questionable sexual conduct.  Granted some would have one believe men could have sex under any conditions, but this is a real stretch of credulity lolol.

Date Posted: 11/22/2008 7:44 PM ET
Member Since: 8/9/2007
Posts: 4,058
Back To Top

I agree, I always notice, and it's invariably with a lot of deep, passionate kissing first thing in the morning:P  Worse still is any kind of oral sex after the H&H have already done it at least once - eww!

Date Posted: 11/22/2008 8:09 PM ET
Member Since: 2/24/2006
Posts: 5,498
Back To Top

Worse still is any kind of oral sex after the H&H have already done it at least once - eww!

Oh tell me about it! Yuck!

Date Posted: 11/22/2008 8:34 PM ET
Member Since: 5/15/2008
Posts: 242
Back To Top

Reminds me of the book Simon Says.....where Simon pulls Dakota into the bathroom with him so he can brush his teeth...he said he wanted to kiss her properly...lol.

Yea...H&H..then oral.....major ick factor!!!

Date Posted: 11/22/2008 8:34 PM ET
Member Since: 7/31/2006
Posts: 14,634
Back To Top

my favorite is when they've run for their lives through the hot sticky jungle then are doing all the oral stuff..gag gag gag..fresh out of the shower is one thing but nasty and sweaty no way!

Date Posted: 11/22/2008 8:49 PM ET
Member Since: 10/6/2007
Posts: 376
Back To Top

I don't mind hot sticky jungle sweat on the body. If you always have to wait for a shower, then these books are gonna be real tame...

And to be honest, I'd just as soon not read about the hero and heroine urinating, thank you. Not first thing in the morning, not right after (when she should!!), not after the sweaty jungle run. OK - in "The Indiscretion" by Judith Ivory there's a urination scene that's funny. However, I would just as soon not know the potty habits of the hero and heroine in most cases. Why don't those of you who need that just imagine that they did, maybe a few minutes before the narrative takes up?

Date Posted: 11/22/2008 8:56 PM ET
Member Since: 5/3/2006
Posts: 6,436
Back To Top

Worse still is any kind of oral sex after the H&H have already done it at least once - eww!

Oh yeah, I hate that! Please, how hard would it be to write in a cleaning off first?  And the going to sleep still "attached" - eew! Sticky! Itchy!

The first thing in the morning doesn't bother me though. My husband's breath always seems just fine to me and he's never made any complaints either. ;-)

Date Posted: 11/22/2008 9:27 PM ET
Member Since: 11/16/2007
Posts: 165
Back To Top

While I agree that the idea of morning sex without hygiene issues addressed is gross, I recently read a book (don't ask which one 'cause I don't remember) where the couple took a shower after each time they did it and it was all during the same night. I think it was like 4 times of sex then showers. I love being clean but that seemed excessive to me. They could have cleaned up without a shower every single time.

Date Posted: 11/22/2008 10:18 PM ET
Member Since: 4/25/2007
Posts: 11,466
Back To Top

I read one like that too Pamela.  They were taking like 4 or 5 showers a day at least!

Date Posted: 11/23/2008 11:37 AM ET
Member Since: 8/23/2007
Posts: 26,510
Back To Top

I used to wonder about the no going to the bathroom and morning sex as well. But then I thought if the books were too realistic I wouldn't want to read them. I want to fantasize about a world where I don't have to pee first thing in the morning and my husband and I wake up with sexy breath.  I don't really want to read about them running to the bathroom to pee in a book.  I just assume that it's done at somepoint and the author chose not to describe it for me.

Subject: I agree...
Date Posted: 11/23/2008 12:31 PM ET
Member Since: 11/18/2008
Posts: 9
Back To Top

Mary wrote: I don't really want to read about them running to the bathroom to pee in a book.  I just assume that it's done at somepoint and the author chose not to describe it for me.

I agree, I don't want to read about it (or write about it) unless there is a real reason it moves the story along.  Even so, a trip to the loo--or the 'head' (nautically speaking)--would be more to describe the facilities rather than the act, and can humorously be dealt with at another time. 

Naaaa, I am thinking of the wonderful art of leaving some things unsaid.  Perhaps the next scene (if the passion has not abated by morning) could be after breakfast.  Or better yet, during breakfast?  Yummy!  Sex and food!   I'm just trying to think of creative ways to extend the fun without being too unrealistic. 

My own opine, there's pleasurable fantasy that I could imagine myself as the heroine, and then there's fantasies where I don't want to be the heroine.  I wonder if this question might go under a different post heading--When reading romances do you imagine that you (or an alternate you) are the heroine--or the hero lol?

LM

 

 

 

Date Posted: 11/26/2008 12:43 AM ET
Member Since: 5/15/2008
Posts: 242
Back To Top

--When reading romances do you imagine that you (or an alternate you) are the heroine--or the hero lol? ........LOL..Leslie...I sometimes imagine I'm the heroine of the story.......actually when reading them alot of times I usually picture me and hubby...sometimes... :-)...other times....weeeelllll......lol....you get my drift. :)

Date Posted: 11/26/2008 1:38 AM ET
Member Since: 9/23/2006
Posts: 527
Back To Top

Yes! No matter how passionate the lovemaking was the night before, in the morning my boyfriend and I stick to short, closed-lipped kisses until we brush our teeth. Those prude kisses make us brush our teeth that much sooner, believe you me! Also, not to get too gross- but when the sex is described messily, and the heroine falls asleep quickly without washing, and then in the morning the guy is... chowing downtown, ifyougetmydrift before she.. um... cleans, that's pretty squiggy too. I totally understand a romance novel won't dwell on the mundane, but hygiene stuff really does impact whether something turns me on or gives me the wiggins.

Date Posted: 11/26/2008 4:04 AM ET
Member Since: 6/16/2008
Posts: 772
Back To Top

In one of my Lord of the Rings fanfics, I had the female character (not a Mary Sue, thank you - worked hard to avoid that!) dart off the bed before Boromir could get frisky and do her business in the chamber pot. It was actually pretty fun to write because alot of romance fanfiction follows the same conventions as romance novels wrt bad breath kissing and other things described above. That I got some favorable comments about it told me that others shared my morning sexy-time squicks. And I see here that there are a bunch of others! :D

Date Posted: 11/26/2008 1:46 PM ET
Member Since: 3/11/2008
Posts: 217
Back To Top

Hmm maybe I am a bit gross, but most of that stuff doesn't bother me. I do appreciate when they mention things have been taken care of though, and I especially appreciate showers prior to below the belt action. Overall I am not bothered by early morning rendezvous. In my head it's a perfect world and everyone smells nice. Besides I am normally wrapped up in the action! :)

Oh I will say I agree with Willa on the leaving it in itchy/ sticky comment! I can't help but imagine that one.

Jessica

 

Date Posted: 11/26/2008 2:19 PM ET
Member Since: 7/19/2008
Posts: 1,131
Back To Top

That's like the TV shows and the movies where everybody wakes up with perfect hair and makeup still in place and starts making out, no bad breath or icky factor.

I just go ok then ! and continue, I apply the same principle to the books I read

Date Posted: 11/27/2008 9:14 PM ET
Member Since: 2/28/2008
Posts: 2,553
Back To Top

One thing that really icks me (and I've only ever seen this in erotica) is anal licking and/or kissing. I'm sorry, that's just gross. Especially in a historical when we know that a good bathing is few and far between, and toilet paper is less than plentiful. It's just gross. I would never let my man take his tounge near that spot, and he would certainly have to peroxide his mouth out before getting to kiss me again if he ever dared it. Ugh, bleh, ick...