| You watch him as he walks past you, smiling as to say ďHi.Ē And it starts. Your mind turns to mush, and you are speechless. You smile faintly. This happens three times a week, and every time itís the same thing. Ok, so not always the exact same, sometimes he actually speaks to you. But either way you still never say much of anything to him.
You watch as he walks by to his seat. You keep watching, out of the corner of your eye, throughout the rest of the class. He is actually paying attention to the teacher as you pick up bits and pieces of him rambling on about some paper due the next week. He always sits in the same row of seats as you, maybe a row behind, but never very far away from you at all. You always have a pretty good view of him.
You donít really like him. You just think heís a nice guy, and real good looking. But you havenít really thought of him in any other way. You just like the eye candy that sits near you. Sure, there are other guys to fantasize about, but he is by far the most handsome, and to top it off, you are the same major. That means you have something in common. Something you both seem to be passionate about. But still, he is just some nice piece of eye candy.
Today, you think, will be the same as every other. You figure you will sit and wait for him to walk in and then watch as he passes you and smiles politely. You will smile back and choke up as usual. But things will change today, your feelings will change, everything will change, yet stay the exact same.
Today starts out normal. You wake up, get ready for class, and head out the door prepared to take a test. You seem to do OK on the test, and youíre off to your second class. The class he is in. You have done yourself up a bit differently today. A big enough change that your friends might say something, but a subtle enough change that nobody will really care. You didnít do this on purpose, you just want something different.
So you go into your next class and take your seat. You watch as he passes you, as normal, and you secretly watch him, as normal, as he seems to be listening to the lecture. The class is to do a project in groups today and then present at the end of the class. Nothing unusual here, he isnít in your group, so you get to work. About twenty minutes later though, things arenít going to be as normal. You walk back to your seat and wait as everyone else finishes up and takes their seats as well. Thatís when he walks back into the room, and walks towards you. You sign, wishing for some form of communication. Thatís when it happens. He walks up to you, and stops. And he speaksÖto you. He says your hair looks nice and asks if you got it cut. You reply, stating that you didnít get it cut; you just decided to wear it differently. He replies saying ďWell, It looks good. I like it.Ē You smile, probably blushing a tiny bit, and say thank you. That is when it begins.
You start to feel weird. You have this strange feeling in your stomach. You instantly recognize it: you have butterflies. He takes his seat, and you watch as usual. You begin to hear Taylor Swiftís Tear Drops on My Guitar run through your mind. The song tells of a girl in love with a boy who is in love with another girl. You donít feel as though you relate to the song fully, but some parts do ring true. He doesnít know how you feel. And he never will. You will never tell him. You will keep these new feelings, this new full blown crush, a secret. At least from him.