heartbreaking. so sorry for your pain.
|Alzheimer’s takes a person day by day month-by-month year-by-year until the person you know is gone but the progression is so slow you don’t know exactly when the person you love has left. I had been loosing my mother in bits and pieces for a few years, but I can clearly remember the day I knew I no longer had a mother.
I was a late in life child number six out of eight. She had five kids one right after the other took a six year break and had three more beginning with me when she was forty. I was the last girl. This put me in a favored position since I was a very pretty towhead with big brown eyes that she liked to dress up like a little doll. My little brothers were a little hellions and quite a handful.
I was the only girl in the family that lived in town all year. My three older sisters spent as much time as they could with her and my two brothers in town made the usual perfunctory visits but I was the one who spent the most time with her. We had lunch every Monday even before my father died. We all saw the disease steal her sharp mind, but for me it was gradual since I saw her so often.
I’m thankful that my mother chose a retirement home with her own apartment and the backup of assisted living and a nursing home if she needed it. For quite a few years she did well in her apartment. Finally it became apparent to all of us that it was time for mother to move out of her apartment and into assisted living. She didn’t seem to mind the move at all. She still had her own room with a small kitchenette and her own bathroom. It was a very nice place but she couldn’t go out by herself anymore since she was at the point in the disease where she would get lost. We still went out for lunch on Mondays and I would also see her other times whenever I could.
Then one weekend I decided my hair was looking pretty shaggy. It was time for a new hairdo. I wanted to go from shoulder length to very short. I was very busy, summer was coming and I didn’t want the hassle of long hair anymore. I told the hairdresser take it as short as you can without making me look like a man. He did and it was really short but it looked great. I got many complements and was told I looked much younger. I was also happy about how easy my wash and wear style was to care for.
Monday came and it was time for my lunch date with Mom. I went to her room to pick her up and she asked,
“Who are you?"
“It’s Ione Mom,” I answered.
“I had a daughter Ione,” she said.
“No you’re not her”
“Yes I am. I just got my hair cut.”
Hard as I tried there was no convincing her that I was her daughter. That was the day I finally lost my mother. We still went out to lunch that day and every Monday until she had to go into the nursing home, but it wasn't the same.If I had known I would never have cut my hair.
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Comments 1 to 11 of 11