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Topic: delivering in person?

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Subject: delivering in person?
Date Posted: 6/16/2009 5:23 PM ET
Member Since: 4/13/2009
Posts: 285
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I just got a book request from someone who appears to live fairly close to me.  Would it be okay for me to PM asking if they'd like it delivered in person, or would that come across as stalkerish (or against the rules)?  I figure I could save the postage and they'd get the book sooner, but I don't want to freak anyone out.

Date Posted: 6/16/2009 5:26 PM ET
Member Since: 6/25/2007
Posts: 5,637
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Not against the rules. I know a few people who have done this. I'm not sure how it was initiated though. If you feel comfortable sending the PM, go for it. The worst that can happen is they say no. I think I'd be too shy to ask.
Date Posted: 6/16/2009 5:26 PM ET
Member Since: 12/9/2007
Posts: 9,601
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I've had this happen to me, and in my case I thought it would be best if I met the person at an agreed upon location (like the library) to deliver the book.  If they are open to your delivering it to their house, they should be the one to say so.  It probably wouldn't hurt to suggest delivering in person as long as you make clear you don't have to deliver it to their house.  Also there are local PBS groups, so starting one would help you all meet others.  That would make delivery easy.

ruth

Date Posted: 6/16/2009 5:26 PM ET
Member Since: 3/27/2009
Posts: 25,000
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Chances are it will freak the person out. I'd not offer.

Date Posted: 6/16/2009 5:31 PM ET
Member Since: 1/8/2009
Posts: 2,016
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I did it once. 

But I phrased it as "I live nearby and would like to drop off the book. Is your mailbox set up so I can drop it off, or somewhere or sometime you would prefer I leave it?" <so as to not impose a face-to-face meeting>

The person wrote back with instructions on where to leave it, so I walked there and left the book as instructed. I got home, marked the book "mailed," and PMed the person asking them to look for it. They wrote a nice note back and marked it received right away.

Date Posted: 6/16/2009 5:37 PM ET
Member Since: 12/9/2007
Posts: 9,601
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It worked out okay for me.  Ended up mailing it because the member was in a neighboring town and I didn't want to put anyone out (including me).  We live in a kind of rural type area and to go anywhere means getting in a car and driving there, so mailing it ended up being as cheap and easier.  But if you start a local PBS group, you meet these folks anyway.  No real problem.

Ruth

Date Posted: 6/16/2009 5:38 PM ET
Member Since: 6/29/2007
Posts: 17,082
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I've met a couple of locals through "swapping" books.  I live next to an elementary school which makes a good meeting place.  I've also met a fellow PBSer at B&N for coffee to deliver a book.  After which, we went book shopping!!

Date Posted: 6/16/2009 6:00 PM ET
Member Since: 1/12/2009
Posts: 387
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I just got a book from someone who lives in the town next to mine.  If she had offered to drop it off or asked to meet somewhere I would have been happy to do it.  I didn't realize it was coming from so close until it arrived.  We joked that the DART system would have been cheaper than the postage.

Date Posted: 6/16/2009 6:03 PM ET
Member Since: 12/9/2007
Posts: 9,601
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I agree that it can be a great opportunity.  But some people are very uncomfortable with the thought of meeting in person someone they only know through the internet.

Ruth

Date Posted: 6/16/2009 7:03 PM ET
Member Since: 5/14/2009
Posts: 6,852
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I would do it if the person lived close ...I live in a rural area as well, but I have to go to work every day  via the highway so it wouldn't be a big deal on my way home to take an exit before or after me...any more than it would be cheaper to mail with today' gas prices.   However - I would make it a public and busy meeting place. 

Date Posted: 6/16/2009 7:21 PM ET
Member Since: 4/25/2007
Posts: 11,456
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I'd love to meet a local swapper!  In a public place, of course.  I wouldn't feel comfortable going to their house or asking them to come to mine.  I wouldn't be freaked out at all if someone asked to deliver in person.

Date Posted: 6/16/2009 7:32 PM ET
Member Since: 8/18/2005
Posts: 7,977
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Last Edited on: 1/30/11 6:31 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 6/16/2009 7:38 PM ET
Member Since: 3/13/2009
Posts: 202
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The very first book I ordered on this site was from a gentleman about 500 miles away. But he mailed 2 books that day, one to me and the other to a lady who lived about 5 blocks from my doctor's office in Saint Louis. Unfortunately he got them mixed up and we both got the wrong book. The first sender asked if we could mail then to each other and did not offer postage. I knew it was his fault and I could refuse to mail them unless he sent postage or a credit but I said I would. I just wanted to straighten it out, When he sent me her address I realized she was so close to my Doctor with whom I had an appointment in three days. So it was TWO books to be exchanged. I was getting ready to PM and ask if I could come to her house. We would both save money. But my wife was adamently against it. She said it would be too intinidating. As it happened I never did get my book. Through him, the Saint Louis lady said she had mailed it but it never showed up.  So I was out the $2.50 I mailed to him, the $2.50 I mailed to her and no book and no credit. Bummer.



Last Edited on: 6/16/09 7:38 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Geri (geejay) -
Date Posted: 6/16/2009 7:53 PM ET
Member Since: 9/2/2008
Posts: 9,094
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If I knew the person lived nearby I'd suggest a meet to exchange the book.  I don't think I'd suggest someone coming to my house or me going to their house though.  Just me.

Date Posted: 6/16/2009 8:14 PM ET
Member Since: 4/30/2009
Posts: 2,524
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I also think it would be great to meet a local PBS'r , but  a public place for sure.  How about the local bookstore with a coffee shop inside?  How fun would that be!

 



Last Edited on: 6/16/09 8:15 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 6/16/2009 8:17 PM ET
Member Since: 3/3/2009
Posts: 93
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I would be okay with somebody coming by my house and dropping off a book, given that they already have my name and address.  Setting up a face-to-face meeting actually seems a lot more personal and would certainly be more inconvenient for the receiver. 

I don't think it's freaky to just ask.

Date Posted: 6/16/2009 9:50 PM ET
Member Since: 7/19/2008
Posts: 15,397
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I offer the library, bookstore cafe, or even the post office.  Not either home for the first meeting.  Maybe a next meeting.  Not the first.

(I've met two folks who are close by.  With one I just drop books off at the school library.  The other, we meet and talk books often.)



Last Edited on: 6/16/09 9:53 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 6/16/2009 9:53 PM ET
Member Since: 5/14/2009
Posts: 6,852
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I would not offer on the second or third either -- not until you get to know them - too dangerous.  Look at the med student in MA that is accused of murdering and robbing a woman - off craigs list but still you never know.

Date Posted: 6/16/2009 10:06 PM ET
Member Since: 4/30/2009
Posts: 2,524
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Last Edited on: 8/14/10 11:21 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 6/16/2009 11:26 PM ET
Member Since: 11/13/2005
Posts: 510
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I had one request going to a house that was about 2 blocks from the post office. 

I just dropped by on the way to the post office and put the wrapped book, sans postage,

inside the screen door.

Date Posted: 6/17/2009 4:50 AM ET
Member Since: 7/19/2008
Posts: 15,397
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But don't show up and ring the doorbell without a PM.  That is kinda creepy.  And definitely do not phone.  By using the PM, there is a level of distance and protection. 

Date Posted: 6/17/2009 8:36 AM ET
Member Since: 1/4/2006
Posts: 1,463
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I've done it twice; no meeting, just a drop off, pre-ok'ed by PM.

Date Posted: 6/17/2009 8:56 AM ET
Member Since: 5/16/2008
Posts: 2,146
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Someone once just dropped the book in my mailbox, no pre-arranged conversation or anything. I have a "real" mailbox (not the bank of slot kinds) on a wooden post with the 8 others in my townhouse block. So, she just drove up, (it was already wrapped with a post-it with my name on it) and put it in. I'd consider doing the same if I lived super close by and it wasn't worth $2.38 or whatnot for me to mail.

Date Posted: 6/17/2009 8:59 AM ET
Member Since: 1/5/2009
Posts: 760
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But I phrased it as "I live nearby and would like to drop off the book. Is your mailbox set up so I can drop it off, or somewhere or sometime you would prefer I leave it?" <so as to not impose a face-to-face meeting>

I think that's a really good way to word it. You leave the possibility open for a meeting, but it's not a lot of pressure on the person and they can say no to a face to face meeting without having to actually...well say it.

Date Posted: 6/17/2009 9:32 AM ET
Member Since: 7/23/2006
Posts: 15,930
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I'd be happy to receive/deliver in person - Kathryn, I live near you!  When I saw you say DART, I knew you were close :)

Seriously, in this situation I think the risk is pretty small - the odds of posting a book and then having someone near you request it are pretty small anyway, although it obviously does happen!  But since it's just so random AND the sender has the receiver's address anyway, it's probably pretty safe.

I have a really good friend now that I met through this site!  And the first time we met was to deliver a book :)

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