Discussion Forums - Health, Mind, Body

Topic: Depression?

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Date Posted: 11/17/2007 7:06 PM ET
Member Since: 8/8/2006
Posts: 1,530
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Last Edited on: 1/19/09 10:56 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 11/17/2007 8:43 PM ET
Member Since: 9/30/2006
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One thing you should do if at all possible, is to nurture yourself for at least some part of every day.  Do something you enjoy and find fun.  Doesn't have to be a big and expensive thing.  Sit in a comfy chair with a favorite blanket, read a book, have some hot chocolate or what ever you want to drink.  If you are down, I would counsel against alcohol.  Take a bubble bath.  Go for a walk. Work on some knitting, needlework, cross-stitching, crocheting, scrapbooking, etc. etc.  If you are a runner, do that. Eat something you really really like but don't really indulge yourself in very often.  Eat chocolate.  If you have children, ask your spouse or significant other, a family member or friend to take the children for awhile and just enjoy the quiet.  You know what things you like to do that are fun for you.  Do one of them each day!

Having said that, pay attention to how you are really feeling.  If you remember all the things you find fun, but just don't seem to have the energy or the desire to do them, or if one of the things on the list interests you, but you just can't stir up the enthusiasm to get started, and in fact you would rather go to bed for a nap, you may have the kind of depression you need either/or medication, counseling. Sometimes you feel like you are not really depressed that much, but you can be.  See your doctor and talk to him/her about it.  Ask them for a referral to see a psychiatrist so they can determine if you do need something to help you feel better. I know whereof I speak, I never thought I was depressed, I was just not interested in things, would rather lay in bed with the covers over my head, couldn't remember things well, didn't want to eat.  ~But I was not depressed.~  I'd have small panic attacks and anxiety, ~but I surely was not that anxious.~  My doctor finally sent me to see a psychiatrist who determined that I was suffering from PTSD ~ post traumatic stress disorder this was causing the depression and anxiety.  At this point, after 9 months, it feels like I have come out of a long, dark tunnel.  Looking back on how I was feeling then, and how I feel now, I really cannot believe how depressed and anxious I really was. 

I'd also encourage you to talk things over with someone, your spouse, family, good friend, minister, doctor, etc.  Just talking about it sometimes can be a great help.  You can even talk about what is bothering you hear.  We'll listen!  This may be a really safe place for you to do just that.  You can come to this site at any time, day or night, and let it all out.  You can whine if you want to.  Whining is permissable here and is in fact encouraged.  :)

If there is anything else we can do to help you ~ just let us know.  And please let us know how you are feeling.  We do care about what is bothering you!

Date Posted: 11/17/2007 10:55 PM ET
Member Since: 10/28/2007
Posts: 502
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I suffer from depression occassionally. I used to beat myself up mentally when I had no energy. I finally realized, sometimes, we need rest. We work ourselves into such a snit, we don't allow our bodies to relax and just plain enjoy staying in bed for a day and allowing ourselves to know it is OK, once in awhile. I can watch TV, read a book and just lay in bed other than to go to the BR or eat a quick bite, and I used to think that was bad. Now I realize, if I just let myself off the hook, and don't feel like I am doing something wrong, I get the rest I needed, (watching TV or reading, makes me sleepy), I usually drop off to sleep for awhile, and the next day, I feel a lot better and feel like I am ready to get up and face the world.

It is important like the other person said, to let someone you trust know it so you don't allow it to go on too long. If it becomes a chronic thing, it can become clinical and you would definately need some type of medications to treat it. The advice the oher person gave you about doing something every day even if for just a few minutes that is just for you, is good treatment to over come some of those "blas" you feel. I love to take a steamy, hot, bubble bath and read while I am in it and have a cup of herbal tea. Sometimes, putting a nice smelling candle in the bathroom while you are soaking makes it seem that much more special.

Remember to get plenty of rest. Or, if you have a hard time sleeping, even a little power nap for 20 minutes in the day to break up the day will help. I don't want to get too technical, but, when we are stressed, our cortisol builds up and we need to sleep in order to allow it to go down. Then, the seritonin level comes back up and that is what keeps us on an even keel. If the cortisol isn't allowed to dissipate with rest, that is when you can get ill and have all sorts of problems. So, sleep is one of your best allies. It is one of the hardest things in the world to get sometimes, but it is one of the easiest ways to keep away depression. If you feel like you only want to sleep all the time. Give it awhile and allow your body to just sleep. Then, after awhile, you will feel rested, and you will feel some of the energy coming back. If you never want to get out of bed and just feel like sleeping all the time, then, it is important to seek help. (Someone professional, MD, minister, counselor etc.)

WEll, if I am ever around and you want to write to me once in awhile, you are welcome to write and ask questions and I will try to answer as best as I can. I am an OR nurse. Not a psyche nurse!  But, I have been depressed myself once in awhile. We all go through that sometimes in todays times. A good ear is sometimes the best medicine. Just knowing someone is listening. So, visit me and write a pm if you like. I will try to get back to you as often as I have time. WE all need someone sometimes to just be there. Take care,  

 

Date Posted: 11/18/2007 7:31 AM ET
Member Since: 8/8/2006
Posts: 1,530
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Last Edited on: 1/19/09 10:55 AM ET - Total times edited: 2
Date Posted: 11/18/2007 11:50 AM ET
Member Since: 9/30/2006
Posts: 6,868
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Mimi  ~ It has not been that long since you lost your husband, so I do agree with you in thinking that has an impact on your doldrums, as well as being disabled.  I'm disabled too, and am waiting (and waiting and waiting) for Social Security to decide to give me benefits.  It can be very depressing to now be able to do everything you want to do.

If you don't mind telling me, how long were you married Mimi?  (I'll bet Mimi is what your grandchildren call you!).  What was your husband like?  Did you have to go through a long period of illness with him?  Did you have to be the rock for your children, grandchildren and other family & friends when he passed away?  Tell me about what you do each day.  If you can share those things I might be better able to advise you.  I'm an RN and have had plenty of life experiences in my 51 years.  I've lost my Mother, my Mimi, my grandfather, my beloved uncle and my younger brother.  All of that has happened over a period of years, but those things did contribute to my depression.

If you are willing to give me a bit more info, you can just send me a PM if you don't feel comfortable sharing all this here. Talk to me about it.  Just doing that is a help.

hugs & blessings

 



Last Edited on: 11/18/07 12:06 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 11/20/2007 11:33 AM ET
Member Since: 8/8/2006
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Last Edited on: 11/2/10 3:37 PM ET - Total times edited: 3
Date Posted: 11/20/2007 8:18 PM ET
Member Since: 9/30/2006
Posts: 6,868
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Gayle I am so glad that you are feeling better!  I've been a tad worried about you and was about to send you a PM.  But please keep an eye on yourself or confide in one of your friends or children so another person with an objective eye can do the same.

~Have a Very Happy Thanksgiving~

Date Posted: 11/20/2007 8:34 PM ET
Member Since: 4/6/2006
Posts: 236
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Gayle, above all things do NOT, I repeat do Not feel guilty about being all too human.  All lives have some  times in them where we feel down or sad or are grieving, it's nothing to be guilty about.  As the others have said, be kind to yourself and if you can, be kind to someone else, that is a big boost to the soul.

You might consider calling the Unity prayer hotline for a sympathetic ear and voice, it's free and absolutely non-denominational, (they are the people who publish The Daily Word) just kind uplifting words for those times you need a lift.  1-800-669-7729 or the website at www.silentunity.org  It helped me so much when my father died earlier this year at a very bad time for me, helped me make the right decision on what to do.

Blessings, remember: and this too shall pass.

Margaret

Date Posted: 11/21/2007 12:52 PM ET
Member Since: 8/8/2006
Posts: 1,530
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Last Edited on: 1/19/09 11:03 AM ET - Total times edited: 2
Date Posted: 11/29/2007 3:34 PM ET
Member Since: 11/16/2007
Posts: 745
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- I take walks in parks or the woods.

- Remember, do not feel bad if you are having a bad day, or a bad week. It's probably not even your fault.

- If you are having really bad thoughts, keep in mind that those do not represent reality. They are a direct result of a chemical imbalance in your brain, perhaps in a few hours things will realign themselves and the thoughts or panic attack will cease.

- I also like to watch funny movies or shows. I like Family Guy. I always get a good laugh from that.

- I also found out a food allergy was causing a lot of my problems. The hard part was finding a doctor who understood this particular food allergy. Most doctors said "It's all in your head." (The lab test confirmed it's not "all in my head".)

- I also learned men can have low testosterone. I never would have thought, but I got tested, and I have low testosterone. They have medicine for it. I feel much better now.

- If you make a mistake, try to learn from it. Don't focus on the mistake you made, try to fix it and learn from it.

- Try to focus on the good things that happened today. Write these things down in your diary each day. This is different than denying that the bad things happened. Accept the bad things that happened but don't dwell on them. Move on.

- In a relationship with a spouse, child, or parent, if you were wrong, ADMIT IT and apologize, and make the person whole. This goes a long way. For example, if you broke someone's radio, buy them a new one if they want (they may not want a new one).

 

Date Posted: 11/30/2007 2:27 PM ET
Member Since: 9/30/2006
Posts: 6,868
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Chuck~

I appreciate your input on this topic.  I do however want to take exception to one or two of the statements you made.

First ~ "If you are having really bad thoughts, keep in mind that these do not represent reality. They are a direct result of a chemical imbalance in your brain, perhaps in a few hours, things will realign themselves and the thoughts and panic attacks will cease."

I agree with you about the chemical imbalance part, that is definately true.  Where we part ways however is that it usually takes way longer than a few hours for a person with clinical depression to "realign themselves".  In general it takes medications, therapy and some time, often up to a year or more for some folks, and for others depression is a long term problem and controlling the symptoms as best you can is the goal of treatment.

Now if you were just talking about a case of the blues, I might agree with you, but not for folks who have a clinical diagnosis.

Second ~ "Remember don't feel bad if you are having a bad day or a bad week. It's probably not even your fault."

Again, if you are just talking about the "blues" that is a good thing to remember.  And if you are recovering from depression you may be able to get your mind around this thought, which is pretty accurate.  But if you are in the middle of a depressive episode you just cannot possibly really think that way.  In general, you feel everything really is your fault, and they will probably not believe you at all.

I hope you don't mind a little "constructive criticism".  In addition to being an RN, I speak from experience with this, I am just beginning to recover, after almost a year from depression associated with post-traumatic stress disorder.  The rest of your suggestions are really very good, and I thank you for sharing them. 

Joy

Date Posted: 12/1/2007 5:31 PM ET
Member Since: 9/19/2006
Posts: 2,940
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Mimi, I understand how you are feeling!  I lost my husband right around the time you did, if I remember correctly.  I still have bad days, and then some really bad days, but at the same time it does get easier.  Like someone (you?) said, there is no timeline for grief.  You just have to take the good with the bad, and make sure to take care of yourself so the bad doesn't get too bad!

Date Posted: 12/1/2007 8:25 PM ET
Member Since: 8/8/2006
Posts: 1,530
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Last Edited on: 1/17/09 4:30 PM ET - Total times edited: 2
Date Posted: 12/1/2007 8:45 PM ET
Member Since: 9/30/2006
Posts: 6,868
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Mimi ~ I am so glad to hear from you and that you are doing well.  You seem like you have got your thoughts and feelings under control, grieving here and there is not a bad thing.  I lost my Mom 22 years ago, and I still have days, especially around the holidays that it seems like I could just cry all day.  Getting it out of your system and focusing on life the way it is now are truly the best ways to get on. 

Indeed, writing things down does help, you know we are here at any time if you need to do that.

hugs & blessings

 

 

Date Posted: 12/1/2007 8:53 PM ET
Member Since: 9/23/2006
Posts: 6,362
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I am not a good poster child for antidepressants, but sometimes they can help people over bad times.  My friend said it just kind of took the edge off and helped her deal with things better.  She was a bear when she went off it :)  We worked together and she didn't tell me but I could tell (there is a sort of adjustment or withdrawal period).

You might consider them if you find that you have trouble for too long a time.  It's understandable that you are depressed and sometimes it is good to work it out without medication but it's not a bad thing to try it if you aren't coping on your own.  I would suggest that if you try it, you make sure that your prescriber monitors the effects though (too many doctors hand out antidepressants without knowing very much about them or doing good followup). 

My daughter said that one way to help find an antidepressant that works for you is if one has worked well for another member of your family.  She did not want to try them out for me, however :)

I am very sorry about your husband.  I am disabled too and can't do so many things and that certainly makes it hard to be cheerful.  You don't have to be in the stereotypical "deep terrible dark depression" to benefit from the antidepressants, BTW.  They are actually used in the treatment of chronic pain.  I can't seem to tolerate them but they work well for many other people.  I'm not trying to push them, but I'd hate to have you dismiss them if they could help you.  I know many people who have been helped by them.

I'm so glad you're feeling better now, but if you find you're having problems again, you might consider them.  I hope you do well and it's wonderful that your family is so supportive.

Date Posted: 12/2/2007 1:47 PM ET
Member Since: 9/19/2006
Posts: 2,940
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Mimi, I am glad to hear that you are feeling better!  I think we all are a lot stronger than we realize.  Friends and family do help in the tough times.  I found family to be more comforting to me.  Not because my friends weren't, but because I was 27 when I lost Brian.  At that point in most of our friends lives they were buying houses and having babies, and here I was starting over.  It was, and still is, incrediblely overwhelming. 

We live in a small town and yesterday there was a car accident that killed a 17 yr old boy.  When I heard the news I just cried.  It hurts my heart the most when it is someone young, and car accidents still terrify me.    It is so strange that someone can be here one day and just be gone the next!

Thanks for letting me crash your thread!  It  really does help to write things down and just get them out.

Hugs, Melissa