I found this book to be insightful and indispensible when working with my adopted 4 year old son. The author is clearly onto a very difficult (hence the title) and frustrating topic for any parent who has a child that you are always asking, "Why are you upset, angry, doing this to me?" The combination of clear information is balanced by simple straightforward techniques on how to learn what sets your child off, and how you can cope with these behaviors and lead your child into understanding how they can overcome these problems. I understand my sons much more now, and am better able to cope with his behaviors when they come. An excellent read.