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Topic: Is it All a dream?

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Subject: Is it All a dream?
Date Posted: 10/12/2008 8:45 AM ET
Member Since: 9/26/2008
Posts: 109
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I have been with my partner for 5 years this past October 2. And everything is great. I mean sure we have some difficult times.... financial issues may sneak up, or maybe an argument once every year,  or maybe just self doubt. When we go anywhere with our kids, we turn the radio up loud and we all sing everywhere we go. It's like living in a musical... and all of our kids are teenagers except one that is 10. Things could not be better. In fact, this is the happiest I have ever been.

I guess this leads me to my question. If you have a good life... good partner, good kids, etc... do you still sometimes expect it to all just disappear? Does anyone still have doubts that it will last or that something will come in and change that life for the worse? And I don't mean like one partner cheating on another. Of that, I have no doubts... we are both VERY faithful. It's almost like... well like maybe there is ony so much happiness one person is allowed to have in a lifetime... and over the last 5 years, my life has been as close to perfect... she has made my life so close to perfect.

Probably just depression talking, huh....

Date Posted: 10/12/2008 2:00 PM ET
Member Since: 8/13/2008
Posts: 13,147
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I know EXACTLY how you feel. I am afraid that I will wake up one morning and it will all be gone. It's a scary feeling and I thought I was alone!

Date Posted: 10/13/2008 12:04 PM ET
Member Since: 7/23/2007
Posts: 1,453
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I feel the exact same way. Sometimes I find myself waiting for the bad so much that I forget the good stuff. The weird thing about it for me is usually I'm very optimistic.

Date Posted: 10/13/2008 12:12 PM ET
Member Since: 9/26/2008
Posts: 109
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yeah. it's nice knowing some other folks feel the same way, Colleen.

and Sarah, i've always been a pessimist. so this feeling of security and safety that i have with my partner... evn though it's been 5 years, is still very new to me.

thanks for the replies

Date Posted: 10/13/2008 12:47 PM ET
Member Since: 6/19/2007
Posts: 5,928
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In my family, we pretty much live in the lulls between disasters.  The best way I've found to deal with it is to try to think of the bad times as temporary, instead of the other way around.  And also to try my best not to let worrying about the bad times ruin the good.

Date Posted: 10/13/2008 4:28 PM ET
Member Since: 9/26/2008
Posts: 109
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Vanessa,

     ok..now that is another matter altogether.... it's like you are not even enjoying the good times...just waiting out for the next bad one. that wasn't what i mean by my post.... we hardly argue..in fact... it's weird how little we do argue... and we laugh all the time. i dont think about bad times coming when itcomes to the relationship... i just cant believe how good it is though.

    i used to live like you... live in the lulls between disasters when i was with my ex. but when i sat down and really weighed out the good and bad.... the good times (really good times) were just a handful compared to 20 pages of bad things. maybe you need ot rethink this relationship Vanessa.... and i don't mind lending an ear if you care to talk about it.

kris

Date Posted: 10/15/2008 11:11 PM ET
Member Since: 6/19/2007
Posts: 5,928
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oh no Kristi, I didn't mean that the way I guess it sounded.  I'm actually not in a relationship right now, I'm living with my parents while I save money for grad school.  When I said the lulls between disasters, its just that my family's had a cycle of bad times with someone always being in the hospital or being depressed or something like that.  Now things are fine, but my brother has major reconstructive surgery ahead of him, so we do anticipate things possibly getting rough again.  But thank you so much for being so caring, and I really hope you continue to have such happiness.

Date Posted: 10/16/2008 2:22 PM ET
Member Since: 9/26/2008
Posts: 109
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glad you cleared that up for me. *s*. but you are still welcome to chat me up anytime. life can be rough sometimes.