The Eclectic Pen - Drowning


By: Alan (arkrebel) -   + 24 more  
Date Submitted: 2/19/2007
Genre: Literature & Fiction » Poetry
Words: 86
Rating:


  Drowning

Once I lay drowning in an ocean of pain,
Where darkness swirled about my heart
in waves of defeat...

And still I drown,
but now...

In a love so deep and true
that to die is to live forever...

...with you...

....and here,

the silence of our ocean engulfs a single,
liquid entity...

a single cell of being...

a single,
fluent us...

...and so submerged in salt-filled sapphire,
no shadows reflect across our heart...
no tidals tug at dissolving shadows...
no fury travels spiral tows...

....and to drown a thousand deaths in your arms,
is to be blissfully alive for a thousand forevers
...with you.


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Comments 1 to 3 of 3
Claudia R. (BrokenWing) - 2/19/2007 1:10 PM ET
very nice.
Jessi H. (willpowered) - 2/22/2007 2:46 PM ET
Clever dicotomy set up between the drowning in pain or love. The references to death within the loving parts is a bit unnerving, though. Ah, though, yes, "la petite mort", I know, I know, and yet.... That aside, I love the "so submerged in salt-filled sapphire",...the reason and an example of how/why alliteration works. Truely tasty. As one who considers herself something of an expert and a success in love, allow me to reflect on the current lack of shadows reflected, tidal tugs, spiral tows described here. I assert with conviction that it is both new and momentary/fleeting. Like cherry blossoms, in a moment, at a breeze, the flawlessness disappears. But think it no less miraculous for being victim to time. The bliss returns, if it is dashed or broken, when challenges are over-come as one. Yeah, yeah, I write too much. So shoot me. Or better yet, you write more/too much, too. Then my running on at the keys will disappear into the well of "too much" writing!
Jessica J. (RadioBrainAutoPoesy) - 2/24/2007 8:45 PM ET
nice words, sadly you are saying nothing, there are elements that could be molded into something diplomatic everyone here seems to leave such positive comments this isn't negative but death and love are age old and need an original approach...
Comments 1 to 3 of 3