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Topic: Etiquette questions for newbie...

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Subject: Etiquette questions for newbie...
Date Posted: 2/9/2009 12:01 AM ET
Member Since: 2/7/2009
Posts: 10,656
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I have a couple of questions...

1. If you decline a box of books swap, should you PM the person and explain that you really aren't into mysteries/thrillers and you only have them on your shelf because your husband reads them, etc, or is a note not required?  I always feel badly about turning down a box swap. 

2. If someone requests a book and you PM to explain that it's a textbook with notes, highlights, etc, how long should you wait for the requestor to respond? 

 

 

Date Posted: 2/9/2009 12:16 AM ET
Member Since: 2/19/2008
Posts: 2,007
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In answer to #2, if there are no Requestor Conditions involved, and the book meets all the requirements for posting (including those pertaining to textbooks and highlighting) then no PM should be needed.

 

Subject: Maybe I misunderstood....
Date Posted: 2/9/2009 12:37 AM ET
Member Since: 2/7/2009
Posts: 10,656
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I thought books were not to be posted with marks, highlighting, etc except for textbooks, and then you were required to PM the requestor and get pre-approval to send. 

 

Exception: if it is a textbook or workbook, these are expected to have highlighting/underlining/writing

  • if you post a textbook/workbook, the condition must be described to the requestor in a Personal Message
  • AND the described condition MUST BE AGREED TO before the book is sent
Date Posted: 2/9/2009 12:57 AM ET
Member Since: 2/19/2008
Posts: 2,007
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You're right, I forgot about that part.  In your PM I'd give a deadline for a response.  48 hours should be long enough.



Last Edited on: 2/9/09 12:58 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 2/9/2009 8:03 AM ET
Member Since: 8/23/2007
Posts: 26,510
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I would choose the last possible mail by date for the text book.  Then in the PM with the description, give them a respond by date.  If they order textbooks on here regularly they should know that a PM is required.  Give them a "if i don't hear from you by x date, I'm assuming the book is acceptable and sending it to you".  On the off chance they don't respond and complain about the book-PBS will have a record of the PMs and that you followed the rules and they didn't respond. 

If I rememer right from my Boxing days-when you decline a BOB offer it gives you a little place to explain why.  Don't feel guilty about declining a BOB.

Date Posted: 2/9/2009 8:44 AM ET
Member Since: 8/9/2007
Posts: 4,058
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BOB swaps don't have a time limit; they stay open until one of the parties declines them or both parties accept.  You can set the time limit you want to wait, and then if you don't hear anything from the other boxer, you just decline the swap and you're done.  Anytime you decline a swap, a dialogue box will open and you can send the other boxer a PM, explaining why you declined the offer.  I always did this, and people seem to appreciate knowing why you're declining, or at least hearing something back.  I always got thank you's for sending a response anyway, and many comments about how they appreciated getting a response vs. just a decline message and no personal message associated with it.  It takes a little bit of effort, but I think it's only polite to tell someone why you're declining their offer.  If it's just that they don't have anything on their shelf that you're interested in, then don't be afraid to say that.  That was most often the reason why I declined BOB offers myself, and I think only one person ever got the slightest bit huffy about it.  It seems like I said that and something to the effect of maybe next time, and the response I got back was "yeah, maybe!":P  Generally people will appreciate hearing something back from you though, so I always made the effort to do that.



Last Edited on: 2/9/09 8:49 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 2/9/2009 9:37 AM ET
Member Since: 5/22/2007
Posts: 9,682
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First, welcome to PBS Carlene!

In answer to your first question, although you're not required to send a PM as to why you're declining a BOB, it really is better to send a short note as to why. Some Boxers (myself included) keep a list of people that aren't interested in certain things, that way I know not to bother them again. A short note is sufficient. I usually feel badly about turning down a BOB too but I usually say something at the end of the note like "maybe next time!" so it ends on a positive note. BTW, I think I offered you a BOB the other day and you turned me down, lmao. I just realized that. Too funny. No hard feelings at all! Not all BOBs were meant to be Carlene. There are plenty of Boxers out there!

 

Bernhard was wrong in his first answer. In answer to number two here is what the Help Center says:

 

Pages:

  • No torn or chewed/gnawed pages
    • yes, that does say "chewed/gnawed".  That means no pet-chewed (or human-chewed) books.
  • No loose or missing text pages
  • Cover not water damaged (there may be no water damage to any part of the book)
  • No writing or highlighting or underlining on text pages
    • a signature or note on the flyleaf or inside front or back cover is OKAY
    • an author's signature on the title page is OKAY
    • writing or highlighting on the text pages is NOT OKAY
      • Exception: if it is a textbook or workbook, these are expected to have highlighting/underlining/writing
        • if you post a textbook/workbook, the condition must be described to the requestor in a Personal Message
        • AND the described condition MUST BE AGREED TO before the book is sent
        • This is the one of the ONLY two cases in which a PM exchange about a book is required before the book can be sent(the other is for cookbooks...).

 



Last Edited on: 2/9/09 9:39 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 2/9/2009 11:09 AM ET
Member Since: 3/13/2006
Posts: 2,024
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I agree with Mary regarding the textbook -- choose the latest possible mail date and then in your PM say that if you haven't heard by that date you will assume it's okay and mail.

Subject: Thanks!
Date Posted: 2/9/2009 11:23 AM ET
Member Since: 2/7/2009
Posts: 10,656
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I will take all your collective suggestions to heart and....

1. In the future, I will explain why I am declining a BOB offer.

2. As far as the textbook, I am going to send another PM and if I don't hear from the requestor, I have decided to take it off my shelf.