The Eclectic Pen - Feedback please


By: Brenda R.  
Date Submitted: 11/9/2007
Genre: Biographies & Memoirs » General
Words: 141
Rating:


  it’s been three years, eight weeks, and two days to the day
and still, dew drops dance on her grave
they dance
no particular form, no function
they dance
like her I suppose
foolishly existing


but then she left
unconnected truly
passionately searching for…what?
I’ll never know

Just let go!
Burning my eyes release years of emotion
These channels congested for so long
Congested with deadly blame, unforgiveness, conditional love
conditional love, but there’s no such thing
love
It was there

And this is why
they live on
Dew drops dance on her grave
the beauty of it all
unfailing love
unsurpassable hope for dreams to return to their vessel
they hope
much wiser than I

in her time
fragility, an unlikely friend
dew drops dance on her grave
to soon get through
not in vain do the dew drops dance
she will receive healing
she will
the drops nursing her hungry spirit
and a grave no more
she will truly live
to be content again
more so that before
and wiser we all will be
the answer
unfailing love.


The Eclectic Pen » All Stories by Brenda R.

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Comments 1 to 4 of 4
Silvercat - 11/9/2007 9:12 PM ET
Caring deeply for someone and losing them to death can really twist you up inside. It does get easier.
Kate O. (BookWormElite) - 11/10/2007 8:40 PM ET
I loved it. I was very touching and explains the lack of comfort some of us feel with the passing of someone dear to us. Very good writing, it kept me very focused.
Marta J. (booksnob) - 11/11/2007 3:03 PM ET
This feels to me as though perhaps the death was a result of suicide, certainly the most difficult and troubling type of death to mourn. But whatever the cause, there is certainly no easy way to get over the death of a loved one. I hope that this was a a good and cathartic step for you. It is poignant and well-written.
Sabiel C. (sabu423) - 11/24/2007 4:56 PM ET
love it, beautiful
Comments 1 to 4 of 4