Interestingly enough, DH and I had just started to realize that we werent speaking the right languages with each other and had started to change accordingly. What this book did most of me, aside from reinforcing behaviors that I had recently started, was make me realize that our child speaks a language that neither of us is comfortable with and we seriously need to work on that.
This is a great book to keep forever, but I could not in good consious keep it to myself. This information NEEDS to be shared.
What speaks volumes to you may be meaningless to your spouse/significant other. But here, at last, is the key to understanding each other's unique needs. Apply the right principles, learn the right language,and soon you'll know the profound satisfaction and joy of being able to express your love and feeling truly loved in return.
Cynthia E. reviewed The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate on
Helpful Score: 5
I discovered this book back in 2001, and it has been life-changing. So life-changing in fact, that I have bought and given a copy of this book to many people in my life. It is such a simple concept, and a very fast read, but very powerful. You can't look at relationships the same way after this book.
This book really opened my eyes to the differences in communicating love to my spouse. While my hubby didn't read the book, he did take the quiz in the back to help determine his "love language". The results lead into some great conversations about how we can both show each other love in the way we each like to be shown love. I would recommend this to any married couple, whether you are struggling in your marriage or not. Great read!
My husband and I read this book as part of our premarital counseling. We both really loked it, and felt we were able to relate better to each other after reading it. I would recommend it to anyone in a relationship of any kind!
Alesa M. (charistalk) reviewed The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate on
Helpful Score: 3
A unique way to look at the communication of relationships in 5 categories that are simple to remember and apply. I enjoyed this quick read with the thought-provoking comprehensive study guide that was included.
Bestseller. Relationships are the most complicated and most important part of a person's life. Truly connecting with a loved one comes down to one simple fact: You need to know and speak his or her love language. A love language is the way we express our devotion and commitment, and it can be learned or changed to touch the heart of our partner. Dr. Gary Chapman, a pastor and marriage counselor for over thirty years, has been able to help millions understand how to effectively express and receive love.
I was recommended this book a while ago while I was deep in depression and thought my relationship was on the outs. I didn't get a chance to read this book then, and I can say that I would have made things quite easier for me. I'm past all that now, but it was still a great book to read and gave me some great insight into myself and my relationship.
The five love languages are basically 5 ways that people express and understand love. The way Mr. Chapman describes it (and what really made the concept click for me) is that it's just like speaking language. If you're raised in a home that speaks English you learn English and that is your primary language. You can learn to speak another language, but you'll be most fluent in your primary language. The love languages are the same way.
Understanding the different languages is really quite simple. The explanation behind the different languages is very easy to understand. As soon as I'd read about one of the languages I would associate that language to someone I know. Having a "real-life" example for each language helped me understand that language a little bit better. It was easy for me to pinpoint other people's languages but it's been a bit harder for me to pinpoint my own language.... There is a section in the book that helps you figure out your own, and after reading it I've narrowed mine down to three. But before that sections I was thinking well I am all of those. But really we're only one, sometimes two. So I just need to pay attention a little bit more to what I feel and I should have it figured out fairly soon. And if you're not like me - and can't figure out the language for the people in your life- there is also a section to help you figure out what language other people are.
This book specifically deals with the love language of couples, but I think this concept is beneficial for any relationship - siblings, friends, parents, children. And since there is a whole series of these books I don't think I'm too far off in my thinking...
What I liked the most about this book is that for each language there was a story that gave an example of that language. Chapman would introduce us to a couple, tell us what their problem(s), and then tell us what their love languages were. He also gives examples for each language of how to show love to another person using that language.
This was very well written book. I wish I would have picked it up earlier, as it could have made a very difficult part of my life a little bit easier. But even though things were going good for me and my boyfriend (who is now my fiancee) when I read this it still gave me some insight into why we do (or don't do) certain things. It also helped me in communicating what I need and want in my relationship. So this book isn't just for relationships that are failing, but if yours is I would recommend reading this. This book (and I'm sure the entire series) can help you better understand the relationships you have with eveyone that you love.
This book talks about how to communicate with your loved ones. This one specifically refers to your significant other. We used it as a book study at church with young adults and they all found it very resourceful. It talks about the five different love languages- quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, act of service, and physical touch. It shows how you and your significant other can learn more from each other by discovering each other's love language. Really enjoyed it.
I LOVED this book!!! Shared the info with all my close family members. Unfortunately, I am not ready to give up my copy, but have given copies away. Not only helped with relating to my husband, but opened my eyes to each of my 3 children's way of feeling loved. Out of 5 in the family, we have 4 different love languages needing to be met accordingly.
This is a absolutely excellent book for discovering how best to show love to a spouse, child, mother, father, brother, sister - you name it. It is also an excellent way to understand yourself better and communicate to those that love you how best to show you love and make you feel loved.
We often "show" love the way we want to be "shown" love, but our languages might be different! If my love language is different from my spouses, I may not be succeeding in making him feel loved because I am using the wrong language!
curlykat reviewed The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate on
Helpful Score: 2
Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, Physical Touch. Mr. Chapman explains how people feel loved by different actions. Knowing what makes you feel loved and what makes your partner feel loved can help you each better express yourselves to each other.
This is a book I recommend for all to read...we all have different 'love languages' the way we interpret and accept love...if we/or loved one are not loved in our/their love language it is possible not to feel loved and maybe only know we are loved. There is an important difference.
Can truly make a difference in our interpersonal relationships.
erajane - , reviewed The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate on
Helpful Score: 1
This was the most understandable, simple, marriage self help book I have ever read. It is straight to the point and very easy to follow and implement this method into any marriage. EVERYONE should read it!
My wife and I went through this book together & found that it REALLY helped us communicate in a much better fashion.
Chapman's ability to concisely represent how an individual understands "love", & the 5 different ways that can manifest itself, is quite remarkable.
I would say that every couple should take the time to understand their spouse's love language & take to heart Chapman's suggestions as to how to help them feel loved.
Well worth the read for anyone!
Worthwild book to give a perspective on how you and others express love and interpret signs of love. This book is directed toward couples however it is worth the read for singles as well. There is also a short section for parents communicating love to children.
A terrific book for marrieds of all sorts--newlyweds, mid-lifers and beyond. There's something to learn for all. Chapman talks frankly re how to communicate with your loved ones--spouses in particular, but he touches on kids, too--and it makes so much sense!!! We're already communicating better and it's been only a week!
My husband and I read this book together and we both enjoyed it. It was clear to us what Love Language we each were and we read some tips about how to show love and communicate using the Love Languages. This was a great book for couples to read.
Just because someone doesn't express love the same way that you do doesn't mean that they aren't expressing it! This book has really made a difference in my life. I only wish I had read it YEARS ago. =c)
this is a new edition of the five love languages, you will find a couples guide to help you work as a team, before you know it you will learn to speak and understand the unique languages of love and effectively express your love as well as feel truly loved in return.
This is such a great book to read when you are trying to figure out how to communicate and receive love from a spouse. According to the book there are five ways we communicate and show love. The book helps you figure out your "love language" and the "love language" of your spouse. I think it's a must read!
Are you and your spouse speaking the same language? While love is a many splendored thing, it is sometimes a very confusing thing, too. And as people come in all varieties, shapes, and sizes, so do their choices of personal expressions of love. But more often than not, the giver and the receiver express love in two different ways. This can lead to misunderstanding, quarrels, and even divorce. Quality Time Words of Affirmation Gifts Acts of Service Physical Touch Dr. Gary Chapman identifies five basic languages of love and then guides couples towards a better understanding of their unique languages of love. Learn to speak and understand your mates love language, and in no time you will be able to effectively love and truly feel loved in return. Skillful communication is within your grasp! Great gift to share with your spouse!
booktermite reviewed The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate on
A must read for anyone looking to have lifelong fulfilling relationships. The principles in this book apply not only with your spouse, but also with friends, children, relatives... It really is a great book!
This is an awesome book, not just for married couples but useful to anyone in any kind of relationship! It really is about personality types, and how each of us has a different way of expressing fondness for another. It also sheds light on why some of us just never really feel loved! Very enlightening!
This is one of my favorite books! I read it in my early 20s-almost a decade before I got married. Even as a single person I saw how love languages impacted every day non-romantic relationships. I am a words of affirmation person and didn't understand why my compliments sometimes made people feel uncomfortable until I read this book. When I dated my husband I suggested he read it. He is quality time which helps explain why he wanted to tag along when I ran errands. He also became very purposeful about complimenting me. I think everyone, but especially everyone in a romantic relationship should read this book.
I am not reposting this book because I think it is a book everyone should read before they get married. You might think you know how your significant other receives love, but until you read this book you may be wrong. Great great book!!
Going on year 6 in my marriage. I was referred to this book by the Police Chaplin when I confided in the chaplin after only being engaged a few months my concerns about communication and lack of understanding in my new husband to be. We have learned to use this book in keeping out marriage strong. I recommend this book to all old and new couples. Coming from two different cultures with different beliefs and customs, if we made it this long with this book, anyone can.
This book enhanced every single one of my relationships (friends, family etc). I am looking forward to sharing these ideas with my spouse when I get married. All my friends know how much I live by these 5 love languages. The big lessons I got from reading this are:
1) It helps the people in my life understand me and how I function in relationships. It offers them insight on how to give me love in the best way I can receive it.
2)It provides me with insight on the best way to give love to others, particularly those that don't speak the same language as me.
3) (And this is the biggest lesson of them all) It made me a more open vessel for the love in my life. Because when there is more than one love language, it is possible that someone is giving me the wrong kind, one that doesn't speak to me or fill up my "love tank" at all. This book opened my heart to the different kinds of love out there and helped me to forgive the people who couldn't step out of themselves to give me the type of love I need. Perhaps their language is the only one they know.
Great read for everyone! Regardless of your favorite genres, everyone should have this book on their bookshelf.
Great book! I read it all in one sitting. I think it is another way to look at relationships and very well put. I gave it to my boyfriend to read as well. If you are looking for a different way to connect with your partner, I highly recommend it.
Bookfanatic reviewed The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate on
I highly recommend this book to married couples, engaged couples and even singles. I guess that covers everyone. Yes, everyone should read this book. The way in which you express love to your significant other may not be received as love because he or she perceives expressions of love a different way. Perhaps your spouse wants acts of love whereas you enjoy words of love. Perhaps you like gifts as expressions of love and he prefers physical touch as an expression of love.
If the way you both express love to each other is different then you two might as well be speaking two different languages to each other. The author explains this concept in very clear, easy to understand terms. He also gives pointers on how to determine your mate's love language and speak fluently in it. This is not a hokey, pop psychology book. I don't really read a lot of self-help books, but this one caught my eye and I'm so glad I read it.
A book that everyone and especially couples should read. This helps you understand what says I love you to you. Very straight forward and easy to understand. Makes life better for you and your family and friends. A excellent book.
Back cover: "People express andreceive love in different ways. Dr. Gary Chapman identifies these as the five languages of love: quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Perhaps your husband needs to hear encouraging words, but you feel cooking a nice dinner will cheer him up. When he still feels down, you're puzzled...In this new edition, of The Five Love Languages, you will find a couple's guide to help you work as a team."
Unhappiness in marriage often has a simple root cause: we speak different love languages, believes Dr. Gary Chapman. While working as a marriage counselor for more than 30 years, he identified five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. In a friendly, often humorous style, he unpacks each one. Some husbands or wives may crave focused attention; another needs regular praise. Gifts are highly important to one spouse, while another sees fixing a leaky faucet, ironing a shirt, or cooking a meal as filling their "love tank." Some partners might find physical touch makes them feel valued: holding hands, giving back rubs, and sexual contact. Chapman illustrates each love language with real-life examples from his counseling practice.
How do you discover your spouses and your own love language? Chapmans short questionnaires are one of several ways to find out.
Stacy B. reviewed The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate on
The book really helped me see the difference in my "love language" verses my husbands "love language" and opened my eyes to ways to better show my love for him. Now all I have to do is get him to read it!!!!
Kelli T. (slmom89) reviewed The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate on
This is an amazing book. I just finished reading it and was so impressed with how the author has such a great approach to figuring out ways to make any marriage phenomenal. This book is great at helping a person figure out what they may be doing wrong and not "filling their spouses love tank". It also helps you figure out why you may not be feeling loved by your spouse due to speaking different love languages. I am now anxious to read other books by this author.
This book is helping so much to repair a very broken marriage. I didnt even know my own love language till I read it. It has helped me understand myself as well as my husband better. I wish I had read this book before getting married! It could have been so much easier all these years. This is the perfect book to give at a wedding shower or to a new bride/husband as well. I cant wait to read the one written for children!
People express and receive love in different ways. Dr.Gary Chapman identifies these as the five languages of love. Quality Time Words of Affirmation Gifts Acts of Service Physical Touch
If you express you love in a way you spouse doesn't understand,he or she won't realize you've expressed your love at all. The problem is that you're speaking two diffrent languages.
Perhaps your husband needs to hear encouraging words,but you feel cooking a nice dinner will cheer him up.When he still feels down,your puzzed. Or,maybe your wife craves time with you -time away from the kids and television . The flowers you gave her just don't communicate that you care.
What is you Love Language and what is your mates?????? You maybe surprise and with this insight you'll be able to get closer and stop the fights that tear you apart......
I loved this book (no pun intended). These 5 languages can be applied to nearly any interpersonal relationship you have, not just the one you have with a life partner, married or not. Chapman explores each language thoroughly, and gives ideas at the end of each explanation to practice this in daily life (especially helpful if you want to "experiment" and see what that someone responds to best). Just the personal exploration you can do on your own with learning these languages is rewarding.
As a bonus, what I appreciated about these languages was how they can tell you about how others around you have a "primary love language" they receive, and one they tend to give.
You know.. I didn't think anything would help our marriage, short of Father in Heaven coming down and knocking some sense into my husband. (I'm still working on that too. lol) It was a little tough to cram my hurt BUT I tried this from my ended.. I started doing little notes of what made me feel good and why; when he did them. And trying to figure out what was his "languages." It's WAS surprising that he's responded. ReAlLY. He responded! I told him if he was wondering what I was up too that he could "LISTEN" to the audio download that I had put on the Ipod. I think he did because my copy of the book hasn't moved. It's been a wonderful two weeks since I started this "challenge" and it's gotten easier to try to love him again. I now think there might be a chance to save our marriage because I no longer feel like I'm the only one trying to make things work.
I believe it helped me listening to the audio book and reading both, getting it in both sides of the brain so to speak. I know my Challenges aren't through but now I have hope to feed the willingness to TRY.
This book gives great insight about love. Individuals may give and prefer to receive love in several different ways. By understanding your own and others love languages you can increase the value of your relationships. Very simple and helpful book.