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Topic: So frustrated

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Subject: So frustrated
Date Posted: 3/21/2010 12:35 PM ET
Member Since: 11/5/2009
Posts: 1,083
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I mailed a book to a member that was marked as received in the DC on March 8.  I have sent the member two PM's asking if she received the book and if so, could she please mark it as received.  She has not responded to the PM's.  I know that people here will say that just because it says it was delivered doesn't mean it was actually delivered.  That's part of the reason why I PM people when I see that it was delivered and they haven't marked it as received.  But, because she is ignoring my PM's, I suspect that she did receive the book and has no intention of marking it received.  Her account is not on hold and she has posted books to her shelf since I first PM'ed her, so I know she is still active.

So, I guess there's nothing I can do about this.  It is really frustrating me because the book was not a paperback.  It was a hardback "craft type" book in like new condition.  I also worry that I am not the only member she is scamming, if that's what is happening. 

Date Posted: 3/21/2010 12:52 PM ET
Member Since: 6/29/2007
Posts: 17,195
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Consider other possibilties:

  • She could be out of town.
  • Her computer may have died.
  • She may have an illness or death in the family.
  • She herself maybe ill or have passed away.
  • She may only have internet via the library and her car may be inoperative.

I've been here for going on 3 years, been a participant in Box of Books, offered and accepted deals from the BB and have received over 522 books and have encounter 3 "scammers."

If you are that concerned about your credit and book, I recommend using PBS-DC or PBS-Postage.

Date Posted: 3/21/2010 12:56 PM ET
Member Since: 10/28/2008
Posts: 3,529
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Katie,

 

 I am having just the opposite problem, I have pm'd 2 different people and ask if they could please let me know when the books coming to me where mailed. I  have pm'd each of the twice and the pm's still have not even been opened. ( the check mark is there)  I try to mark my book received as soon as I get them. I know some people have other things to do and family problems to pop up.  But I pm'd one of them 5 days ago and still not heard back from her.

 

Just have faith she may be having family problems or something else may have come up.  Hang in there.  Did you use DC????  I always use it now had to many books lost in the mail. Since I started using it I have had none.

Date Posted: 3/21/2010 1:09 PM ET
Member Since: 12/31/2009
Posts: 3,995
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Well, you've done your best. Isn't failure to respond to PMs considered admission of guilt in a dispute? Perhaps that could help you if she never responds.

J
Date Posted: 3/21/2010 1:14 PM ET
Member Since: 3/23/2007
Posts: 2,910
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I mailed a book that, according to DC, was delivered on March 8 also. I haven't PM'd the member. I don't know whether they received it or not. Actually, I don't really care to tell you the truth. I use PBS DC so I rec'd my credit. If the receiver has a history of not marking books received, I figure PBS will eventually step in.

Date Posted: 3/21/2010 1:19 PM ET
Member Since: 8/16/2007
Posts: 15,200
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Once the book goes lost in the system, contact the Team. Failure to respond to PMs in a week is grounds for them to get involved. You do worry about scammers a little too much. The site does keep an eye on things enough to catch those trying to scam the system and they kick them off.

 

Isn't failure to respond to PMs considered admission of guilt in a dispute? They have changed that wording (again) to state that a pattern of non-response is an admission of guilt.

Date Posted: 3/21/2010 1:52 PM ET
Member Since: 6/26/2006
Posts: 2,585
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Katie, I know that you've said that you don't want to use PBS DC or Postage because of the extra fee - but isn't the few cents extra you're spending worth saving you the worry and frustration with every book you send that the person may be a scammer, or that the book may get lost?

Date Posted: 3/21/2010 2:00 PM ET
Member Since: 2/15/2006
Posts: 284
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I had (only once) the opposite problem. A book was shown as delivered but I had not received it. I have no idea where it was but I didn't have it. I was PM'd and promptly replied that I had not received the book and would be sure to mark it received as soon as I did. The other person kept sending messages saying that they knew I must have received it by now. It was very frustrating. I do realize that they have not responded to any of your PMs. I just want to say I hate it when people PM me about if I got the book. If I had the book, I would mark it received. PBS is emailing me too and so it's kind of hard to forget with all these messages. When the book finally showed up about a week later (I have no way of knowing if the mailman or a neighbor dropped it off) I marked it received. Glad to do so just to get them off my back.

susan/vt

Date Posted: 3/21/2010 2:21 PM ET
Member Since: 8/23/2007
Posts: 26,510
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I was also going to suggest that you start using PBS DC because it seems like you are constantly posting about this or that book not being marked received, or taking to long or what if this or that happens.  PBS is supposed to fun and it almost seems like you are obsessed with every book you send.  The extra fee to PBS might be worth it the way transactions seem to stress you out. 

Kate -
Date Posted: 3/21/2010 2:45 PM ET
Member Since: 8/28/2008
Posts: 534
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I was also going to suggest that you start using PBS DC because it seems like you are constantly posting about this or that book not being marked received, or taking to long or what if this or that happens. 

Amen.

Date Posted: 3/21/2010 3:23 PM ET
Member Since: 5/18/2007
Posts: 13,201
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I use PBS postage and DC. Oh, how I love it because it makes my wonderful time spent at PBS so very stress free. I never worry about losing a credit. Ever.

I encourage everyone to use PBS DC and even the postage .... hassle free and very worth the extra charge. 

M.E. (ryenke) -
Date Posted: 3/21/2010 3:35 PM ET
Member Since: 1/6/2009
Posts: 625
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Hi Katie!

I understand your frustrations, when I first joined PBS I worried over each and every book ingoing and outgoing. 

I finally was able to take a long view - maybe my long view would help ease some of your frustrations. 

I never use DC for single book transactions.  Don't do it, even paypal DC.  I bought a whole bunch of stamps instead.  (Or make a weekly run to the P.O for the bigger books.)  Why?  Because If I don't know, and can't know where they are I seem to worry less about them.  And then there is the math.  By not purchasing DC, I'm saving .19 cents per book.  So, if 15 books are sent and marked properly, I've 'saved $3 - about what a credit costs (or more) on the open market.  So if I am taken in by someone who doesn't mark the book recieved, I'm already ahead of the game.  In 250 or so books sent out - ALL have been (eventually) marked recieved.  So this has worked well for me.  I don't follow-up on the books, check when/if they are marked recieve until I get official notice (almost never) that they have gone lost. 

Now, I would not (even though I could *afford* it) be able to shrug off a multiple credit transaction.  Therefore I buy DC for each multiple book transaction (since I'm saving big on the postage anyway).  While that serves as my insurance, and I often get my credit quickly, I still find myself tracking and somewhat stressing over delivery of those multiple transacitons.  But there are less of those, so it is not too bad.

Even though I logically know it usually works out all right in the end, I know it is hard to believe it when faced with unaswered PM's, discourteous behavior, multiple turn downs of offered books, and long wait lists.  But it really and truly does seem to work out almost all the time.

Good luck on this one!

 

 

Date Posted: 3/21/2010 5:43 PM ET
Member Since: 4/7/2008
Posts: 15,690
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I'm the type that considers the 'cost' of aggravation too. Lately I've been so busy that even logging into PayPal, typing the addy, etc. is a bother so I've been using PBS postage even for single book transactions. For me, the fact that I can mail a book with less steps and get my credit right away is deffinitely worth the fee.

Date Posted: 3/21/2010 6:04 PM ET
Member Since: 2/15/2006
Posts: 284
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I don't know if what I do is that different but I really don't ever think to check on my books. Once they are gone, they are gone. I do use PBS postage and DC but I didn't always and I have never worried about them getting there. They either do or they don't and there isn't anything I can do about it one way or the other. I didn't even know about the little truck until my friend pointed it out. I use the postage because it is easier for me and for that reason only.

susan/vt

Date Posted: 3/21/2010 6:39 PM ET
Member Since: 4/23/2007
Posts: 9,520
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Im in agreement with Susan and Mary. You seem to get very suspicious when another member doesn't do what you think they should in the time frame you think they should.

I would say that 99.9 % of the members here are NOT out to scam you.

It seems like every transaction results in the same posting here, and for the most part, you get the same advice.

Why not just use PBS postage and DC and have some fun here, instead of worrying all the time about every book you send and what may or may not happen to it. Ive been here 3 years, sent and received hundreds of books and have had ONE book go missing.

I never worry about whether someone marks a book received. I got my credit when I marked the book mailed and moved on.

Date Posted: 3/21/2010 6:43 PM ET
Member Since: 10/26/2008
Posts: 9,884
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It was very frustrating. I do realize that they have not responded to any of your PMs. I just want to say I hate it when people PM me about if I got the book. If I had the book, I would mark it received. PBS is emailing me too and so it's kind of hard to forget with all these messages. When the book finally showed up about a week later (I have no way of knowing if the mailman or a neighbor dropped it off) I marked it received. Glad to do so just to get them off my back.

+1

Personally, I wouldn't respond to the PMs.

I send books with PBS DC if I am concerned about the credit.  And I have sent PMs when they have been marked as delivered, mostly to let the recipient know that someone, somewhere has their book and it is waiting for them.  But I'm not expecting them to respond to me.  Because at that point, I've already received the credit and I know they are probably waiting for their book.

I agree with the others, Kate.  In this instance with that expensive book, PBS DC might have been worth the extra cost.

Date Posted: 3/21/2010 11:37 PM ET
Member Since: 3/13/2006
Posts: 16
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I have never had any one pm me about whether I received a book but I would not answer them if I did. It would annoy me. If I got them, I would check them in on the site. And frankly the system automatically sends out reminders so there is no reason for the sender to get involved. You will eventually lose a credit here and there if you continue to refuse to use the system's DC. More from the occasional lost book than from someone actually scamming you. But its bound to happen.

Date Posted: 3/22/2010 12:40 AM ET
Member Since: 12/28/2006
Posts: 14,177
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Kate - 99% of your stress would be eliminated if you just used PBS DC instead of paypal postage and DC.  You choose not to support this site, and complain about the consequences.

"I have pm'd 2 different people and ask if they could please let me know when the books coming to me where mailed."  Bertie, members are under NO obligation to return silly pm's...ie, to provide redundant information about when they mail books to you.  PBS already provides a button, and that information is transfered to your main page.  I also would not have answered your pm, unless I had experienced an unexpected delay in mailing...in which case I would have pm'd you without nagging.



Last Edited on: 3/22/10 12:41 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Shelly -
Date Posted: 3/22/2010 12:45 AM ET
Member Since: 11/13/2009
Posts: 3,036
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I thought this was an old thread. Didn't you just have about the same post about a week ago? If your that worried about the credit, use PBS DC. Yes, it cost you about a quarter to use, but it saves from worrying about a credit.

Date Posted: 3/22/2010 7:17 AM ET
Member Since: 4/7/2008
Posts: 15,690
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I have never had any one pm me about whether I received a book but I would not answer them if I did. It would annoy me. If I got them, I would check them in on the site.

I think PBS members that post in the forums are very conscientious and mark their books received timely. That doesn't mean though that some members don't forget to mark the books received and wouldn't mind a PM from the sender (as long as sufficient time has passed since the book shows delivered, the PM is polite, meaning, not accusing the receiver of trying to steal a book, etc.) Also a few people have told me they don't read PBS emails because they get so many so even if they get reminders about marking books received, it won't do them any good if they don't read them.



Last Edited on: 3/22/10 7:18 AM ET - Total times edited: 2
Date Posted: 3/22/2010 8:14 AM ET
Member Since: 8/10/2005
Posts: 4,601
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I concur with what others have said. I thought this was an old thread, because I'm sure you have posted similar ones in recent weeks. Second verse, same as the first....

Also, I have to draw a conclusion from your posts that people who order big heavy expensive craft books are dishonest and never mark books received. It seems like when you have a problem with a person marking a book received, it's never a mass market paperback, always a big heavy expensive craft book. I would advise you to either stop sending those or else use PBS DC when you do. Surely peace of mind is worth that few extra cents. How many times do you have to hear this from multiple people before you either take our advice or stop complaining about it? You have to know by now we're going to tell you the same thing.

Cheryl



Last Edited on: 3/22/10 8:15 AM ET - Total times edited: 1