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Topic: This is funny...if you are in the throes of PMS, you might want to wait a d

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Subject: This is funny...if you are in the throes of PMS, you might want to wait a d
Date Posted: 9/22/2010 10:16 AM ET
Member Since: 6/21/2008
Posts: 6,536
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My brother sent me this and I actually laughed out loud.....

 

*This is an "actual letter" from an Austin, Texas
woman sent to Proctor and Gamble regarding one of their feminine products.
She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. This was PC Magazine's
2009 Editors' Choice award-winner for the best letter sent via e-mail.*

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I
appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or
Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa
dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in
tight, white shorts.

But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on
being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi
pads be aerodynamic I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month
knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? I'm guessing you
haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now.  As I type, I can
already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few
minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my
husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.'

Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen
quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's
monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating,
puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying
jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for
most women.

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just
crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the
reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful
I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always
maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words:
'Have a Happy Period.'
[image: cid:1.811040248@web31106.mail.mud.yahoo.com]

Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny
middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing
happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned
above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James?  FYI, unless
you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy'
about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and
lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local
Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in
a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic
message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's
actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is
Wrong'.

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately,
there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my
maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your
Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending
bullsh!t. And that's a promise I will keep.

Always. . ...

Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX


Last Edited on: 9/22/10 10:18 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 9/22/2010 10:46 AM ET
Member Since: 1/27/2009
Posts: 753
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Omigod. Too funny.

Date Posted: 9/22/2010 10:52 AM ET
Member Since: 8/28/2008
Posts: 3,291
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I have read that letter before.  I think it is great.  Does Always still have the "Have a Happy Period" slogan or have they gotten rid of it?

Date Posted: 9/22/2010 11:17 AM ET
Member Since: 8/18/2009
Posts: 2,920
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LoL, I was laughing so hard I started snorting. Ain't it the truth thought? :-)

Date Posted: 9/22/2010 12:21 PM ET
Member Since: 5/3/2006
Posts: 6,436
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I just had 2 normal cycles, after having 3 in a row that were less than two weeks apart. It's definitely a happy period for me! ;-)

Date Posted: 9/22/2010 1:48 PM ET
Member Since: 1/21/2009
Posts: 5,444
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Yep!!!  That slogan is the stupidest thing I have ever heard.  Some idiot was actually paid to think this up and someone else actually agreed with him (you know it was a "him")  What were the ones that were nixed in their marketing meeting?!! One shudders to think.

Date Posted: 9/22/2010 2:54 PM ET
Member Since: 1/13/2010
Posts: 11,515
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OMG! That was so funny, lol.

Date Posted: 9/22/2010 9:48 PM ET
Member Since: 8/23/2007
Posts: 26,510
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Well I'm sure there are some periods that started late in which the menstrator was really happy to being having her period. 

Date Posted: 9/22/2010 10:17 PM ET
Member Since: 3/25/2006
Posts: 240
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@ Mary

 

LOL, GMTA!  I have said that myself.  The only person having a "happy period" is the one who doesn't want to be NOT having a period ... if you know what I mean.  :-X

 

 

Date Posted: 9/22/2010 11:36 PM ET
Member Since: 11/15/2008
Posts: 3,308
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Well I'm sure there are some periods that started late in which the menstrator was really happy to being having her period.

That's exactly what I was thinking.  Though that slogan always irked me on the commercials.

Date Posted: 9/23/2010 9:43 AM ET
Member Since: 5/16/2009
Posts: 7,840
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OMG... That was absolutely hysterical!  (And then again not...) 

If you have to slap a moronic
message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's
actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is
Wrong'.

I just love this... I'm still laughing- I'm glad no one else is home right now, although my dog is looking at me like I've lost it. 

 

after having 3 in a row that were less than two weeks apart...   I know!  What the heck is that about!  I thought the beginning of menopause meant that it's supposed to start to stop- not go into some crazy extra-cycle mode!  *Sigh*

Date Posted: 9/23/2010 10:36 AM ET
Member Since: 8/28/2008
Posts: 3,291
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If you have to slap a moronic
message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's
actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is
Wrong'.

Those are good slogans.  Personally for me I would like reminders that say, "Despite what your stomach says eating everything in the refrigerator is not advised" or "Eating all that chocolate may seem like a good idea but all it will get you is a tummy ache" or "You are only allowed to watch comedy during PMS otherwise learn to keep a kleenex box near the TV" or "No the car infront of you is not deliberately trying to make you late for work."  They are a bit long but would better for me then have a happy period.