Girls Night Out Author:Kathy Lette Over the autumn months she sampled every sort of man on the menu. It was not a balanced diet. There were the men with ten decibel snores. The men who wiped their snot on the side of the sheet. (I'd find it enamelled on to the mattress in the morning.) The men with the sharp toenails and blunt brains. Some were total grease balls - The Human Chip... more »s. Others had their torsos emblazoned with tattoos. Waking first in the morning, I'd read them from nippe to nipple. Worse than these walking billboards of bad taste, were the silent farters, "Orphans" we called them, because they had no pop. They just stripped what little paint there was off the nearest wall. But most embarassing of all was not the act but the encore. I heard every variation on the lovey dovey, smoochie goochie, open-wide-here-comes-the-choo-choo-train, little lambchop... pukie pillow talk. "Tell me I'm the only one, babe." And she'd tell them. Mouche's idea of fidelity was only having one man in bed at a time.
Girls' Night Out is a wickedly salty satire on sex, surf and shenanigans Down Under, as a group of women cheesily describe a veritable orgy of gags, gaffes and guys.« less