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I'll start one... I've been bad at guessing anyway:)
"You are the biggest jerk that ever walked the earth."
_________ froze, sunlight refracting off the water and momentaraly blinding him.
"It's all I can do right now not to push you off the pier."
He squinted and turned, but it was hard to see with his eyes momentaraly blinded by the sun. A woman. That much was clear. Blond haired. Skinny. And really, really angry.
"With any luck you'd land in a pool of piranhas. Hopefully a whole school of them. Maybe they'd eat your pestilent flesh, nubble your eyes, then snack on your pea-sized brain for dessert."
__________ pushed himself up. "Can I help you?"...................
"Yeah, you could help me. You could help me by showing up when you're supposed to. By not blowing off my clients. By being the kind and thoughtful and considerate instead of selfish and pigheaded and a self-centered a**."
Okay. That was harsh. "Do I know you?" he asked.
"No, you don't know me, but I know of you," she said. "And what I know, I don't particularly like."
Okay I'm going for it. Here we go.
"This is the Big Easy, dawlin' -- you gotta learn to leave those pantyhose in the drawer."
Enough was enough! Holding his gaze, ______ toed off her shoes. She located the elasticized lace band at the top of one stocking through her silk dress, and raised her leg off the car seat to work the band down to her knee. Then she reached beneath her hem and, displacing her long skirt as little as possible, rolled the nylon below her calf. As it collapsed in a silken tangle around her ankle, she pointed her toes and peeled the fagile nylon free.
______stared at the filmy length of off-white hosiery dangling from her fingertips and croaked, "What the hell d'you think you're doin, ______?"
"Why, just following your excellent advice." Emboldened, she repeated the routine with her other stocking and then pointed out gently, "The light is green, ______."
Swearing beneath his breath at the cars honking behind him, ______ rammed the gear shift into first and left a patch of rubber as he took off. ______ folded her hosiery into a neat little pile and then settled back in her seat, feeling much more tranquil.
Here's some more.
"We ain't talkin' the Ritz, sugar, but I know a place with a fountain. Nice shady spot where we can get us a po'boy, dressed.
An incredulous laugh escaped her. "I would have pegged you as more the rich-woman, naked, type."
Before she could gather breath to extricate herself with as much grace as possible, he'd whirled her around and sandwiched her between a display window of Mardi Gras masks and his own lean body. She blinked at his shadowed jaw, so close to her lips.
"You're the only rich girl I know, ______," he said in a low, raspy voice, and reluctantly she raised her gaze to his heavy lidded dark eyes. "You volunteerin' to get naked with me?"
Her only consolation was that she sounded commendably composed when she replied, "No, ______, I am not." Then, knowing it was unpardonably rude but simply not caring for once, she snapped, "You really ought to try reining in those hormones of yours. It's a radical concept for you, I'm sure, but just a change of pace."
He licked his lower lip. "Why, Miz ______, I do believe I'm insulted. A woman makes a sexually loaded statement, naturally a man wants to know if it's an invitation. You'd understand what I'm talking about if you were a guy."
"And if you had ovaries, you probably wouldn't be such an idiot."
"If I had any of your pretty pink equipment, sweet thing, I wouldn't be asking if you wanted to get naked with me in the first place." Then a crooked grin tugged up the corners of his mouth and he straight-armed himself away from the case. "So, you wanna grab a sandwich, or what?'
"I suppose," she said, and winced at the sulkiness in her tone.
Last Edited on: 12/8/07 5:20 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Ok, here is an easy one...sorry if it is too easy, I am new at this :-) (I don't know why, but I can't get the spacing to work on here, sorry it is all mushed together)
"What in hell are you doing?" he barked. He looked scary, in his sweatpants and torn, dirty T-shirt, a black scowl on his unshaven face.
She turned and marched back to the worse-for-wear pair of cans and slammed the lid down on top of his can. "Picking up your garbage," she snapped.
His eyes were shooting fire. Actually they were just bloodshot, as usual, but the effect was the same. "Just what is it you have against letting me get some sleep? You're the noisiest damn woman I've ever seen -- "
The injustice of that made her forget she was a little afraid of him. _____ stalked up to him, glad she was wearing shoes with two-inch heels that lifted her up so she was level with his...chin. Almost.
So what if he was big? She was mad, and mad beat big any day of the week.
"I'm noisy?" she said through gritted teeth. It was tough to get much volume when her jaw was locked, but she tried. "I'm noisy?" She jabbed her finger at him. She didn't want to actually touch him, because his T-shirt was torn and stained with...something. "I'm not the one who woke the whole neighborhood at three o'clock this morning with that piece of junk you call a car. Buy a muffler, for God's sake! I'm not the one who slammed his car door once, the screen door three times -- what, did you forget your bottle and have to go back for it? -- and left his porch light on so it shone into my bedroom and kept me from sleeping."
He opened his mouth to blast her in return, but ____ wasn't finished. "Furthermore, it's a hell of a lot more reasonable to expect people to be sleeping at three o'clock in the morning than it is at two in the afternoon, or" -- she checked her watch -- "seven-twenty-three in the morning." God, she was so late. "So back off, buddy! Go crawl back into your bottle. If you drink enough, you'll sleep through anything."
He opened his mouth again. ____ forgot herself and actually poked him. Oh, yuk. Now she'd have to boil her finger. "I'll buy you a new can tomorrow, so just shut up. And if you do anything to hurt my mom's cat, I'll take you apart cell by cell. I'll mutilate your DNA so it can never reproduce, which would probably be a good thing for the world." She swept him with a blistering look that took in his ragged, dirty clothes and unshaven jaw. "Do you understand me?"
Last Edited on: 12/9/07 9:23 AM ET - Total times edited: 1