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Heavy 3PO - The Coleman Chronicles of Scud, the Disposable Assassin
Heavy 3PO - The Coleman Chronicles of Scud the Disposable Assassin Author:Rob Schrab If you look up surreal in the dictionary, and you live in a really fun universe, the dictionary begins to slowly turn into an artichoke and a flock of penguins come and take it from you. If you look up surreal in this universe's dictionary, you don't find a little picture of Scud: The Disposable Assassin beside it, but that would be appropriate,... more » because the book is quite surreal. Its catch-phrase, in fact, is "Surreality just got funky." Any comic that prefaces the main storyline with a list of suggested voice actors for each character (including John Malkovich for Scud) is definitely stepping off the beaten path and into that thicket full of creepy blinking eyes over there.
Scud is a shiny yellow robot marked with a sticker that reads:
Scud Disposable Robot Assassin:
Heart Breaker Series 1373
THIS UNIT WILL SELF-DESTRUCT UPON TERMINATION OF TARGET
He is originally programmed to kill a creature from your worst pipe dream, Jeff. Jeff is a big scary monster that only speaks in "samples" from pop culture TV shows, movies, and songs with an electrical plug for a head, mouths on its knees, hands for feet, and a squid strapped to its chest. Jeff is also female, which explains her constant ill temper -- wouldn't you be monstrous if your name didn't match your gender?
When Scud discovers that he is programmed to self-destruct after killing Jeff, he can't complete his suicide mission. Instead he maims the beast and tries to earn the money for her hospital bills by working as a freelance assassin. This new profession leads to many adventures.
This volume is: Heavy 3PO: The Coleman Chronicles of Scud the Disposable Assassin, reprinting Issues 1-4. Contains the line, "I'm Jesus with a laser gun, and you're all going to hell!" Aside from issue 1, all of these issues are permanently out of print! PLUS: 2 new pages and a new "cleaned up" look to issue 3. Foreword and scathing letters column by Dan Harmon. Idiot guide to the cast list and Jeff's samples. Scud's top ten influences. Fan mail. Fan art. Fan-tastic book.« less