3 Book Reviews submitted by our Members...sorted by voted most helpful
Barbara L. (pfkitty) reviewed How to Be an Assertive (Not Aggressive) Woman in Life, in Love, and On the Job : The Total Guide to Self-Assertiveness on
I read this book back in 1980. At the time I was with an abusive alcoholic controlling husband. It changed my way of thinking, my response to situations, and my LIFE! Today I am a manager in nursing with a great career behind me. I have recommended this book through the years to other women who did not know how to assert themselves, and have even bought it and given it to others! A simple but fantastic book!!!
Lillian L. (terril0) reviewed How to Be an Assertive (Not Aggressive) Woman in Life, in Love, and On the Job : The Total Guide to Self-Assertiveness on
This book is really dated. I feel women have come a long way from where they were in the 70's. The first few chapters I read made me feel like rushing out to burn my bras and cussing out every man that walked in my path. I guess that may seem extreme, but I think I did get the author's point about going for what YOU want and not being afraid to ask for what you feel you rightfully deserve-having substantial evidence to prove your point will help you get that. But it kind of drags where she tries to describe actions to be taken in certain scenerios. I feel she tried too hard to give many examples in hopes that she can find one scenerio for each individual that may read her book, to get them to understand how to react if they should come into an event as she had described. It was a little annoying, but a reader could understand and appreciate her effort-if they don't fall asleep first.
She often uses her personal experiences of being a "door mat" as examples-which I had a difficult time understanding why she did that because it didn't seem to really add to the description of how an individual could be assertive it just tells the reader the kind of person SHE is.
She quotes her husband (which was hard to believe, since she seemed to be bashing the idea of being married or choosing to be a woman that stays home rather than being the breadwinner), a doctor that practices assertiveness training and coached her on how to become more assertive.
I do appreciate the effort she made in trying to help women get out in the world and fight for what they deserve and not just accept what they are given, always.
She does mention there are times when a woman should be quiet and accepting and times to be assertive later in the book.
I feel the most valuable information was in the last chapter about the work place. She should have cut the chapter on love a bit shorter and extended the chapter on the workplace. I feel she simply outlined the last chapter and left me hanging.
In my experience,I sought counseling because I was a "door mat" and became depressed. The counselor recommended a book by Melody Beatty about being codependent. It is called "Codependent No More". It was THIS book that helped me through much of my "door mat" stage and awakened me to who I was and what I needed. I read Jean Baer's book to see if I might be missing any more information and didn't seem to be. I highly recommend "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie if any of you are looking for a book to help you find who you are and to give you the strength to be yourself again.
It seems being assertive is just having confidence to say what, how, who, and when you want anything. It is all about working on your confidence, liking who you are, respecting yourself while being around others. :)