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Topic: How do you feel about 're-gifting' RAOK's?

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Subject: How do you feel about 're-gifting' RAOK's?
Date Posted: 6/21/2014 11:13 PM ET
Member Since: 2/2/2009
Posts: 3,789
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I've only ever seen one item I sent out get re-posted here, so was wondering how others feel about 're-gifting' an item on the RAOK forum.  I just want to say, that I'm very happy to see any item I send out get re-posted here if it can't be used by the original recipient.  I send out clothing (including 4 swimsuits this month, and if you're like me, you can try on 50 before finding one you can 'live with", lol!), and understand that a person really has no idea whether something will fit or not, unless it's in their possession to try on.  I would be fine if seeing something I sent, either craft books, clothing, perfumes, jewelry, etc., passed on here to another person if it can't be used by the person it was first sent to.

Anyway, just wanted to find out what others thought about it.  Is it an 'ok' practice or kind of a 'no no'?  (like regifting that Christmas sweater from Aunt Marge, but no way would you want Aunt Marge to know you've done that!).  

Date Posted: 6/21/2014 11:19 PM ET
Member Since: 1/27/2010
Posts: 340
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I feel the same as you. I think it would be nice if something I've sent out could be used by anyone, rather that's the person I sent it too or someone else. :)

Date Posted: 6/22/2014 12:17 AM ET
Member Since: 3/29/2009
Posts: 2,446
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I don't have a problem with it as long as we don't get into trouble for doing it. :)

Date Posted: 6/22/2014 12:27 AM ET
Member Since: 5/4/2007
Posts: 13,159
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You pose an interesting question. I have never re-gifted anything that was sent me, nor to my knowledge, had anything of mine re-gifted. Since everything is offered without recompense it shouldn't, theoretically, be a problem. It wouldn't trouble me but  I can't speak for other people involved in RAOK.

Maybe one of our moderators can weigh in on this.

Date Posted: 6/22/2014 12:57 AM ET
Member Since: 2/2/2009
Posts: 3,789
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Yup, it's kind of an interesting question, so wanted to get others' opinions.  I've never re-posted a received item here, either.  I know it's not against policy to do so, but kind of a gray area, as you wouldn't want to hurt someone's (the sender's) feelings or having them think a sent item wasn't appreciated (i.e. the Aunt Martha sweater scenario).  I think it could depend on the situation.  For instance, I have posted on the "I wish" thread that I'd love to have anything to do with Ragdoll cats.  Never in a million years would  would I re-gift a Ragdoll cat item sent to me in response to my wish (not that you'd be able to pry it out of my hands in the first place, lol!), as that would understandably be a show of a lack of appreciation for the RAOK gift.  But, if I've sent something to someone that upon receipt they find they can't use/wear, etc., I wouldn't be offended at their re-posting it.  So maybe it depends on the item?  Like re-posting back on the RAOK a  book that has been received through the RAOK and read would be fine to pass on to another member, etc.  But maybe not a specific item that has been requested, like a birdfeeder or something, should just stay with the person who received it and not get re-posted.   But if included in a bundle of things, o.k. to pass on an item that you can't use, even though you will use/appreciate the others?  Lol, I'm overthinking this......

But, I do appreciate hearing all your viewpoints smiley.

Subject: a moderator weighs in
Date Posted: 6/22/2014 8:39 AM ET
Member Since: 4/28/2009
Posts: 9,504
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ok, I'm the re-gifter in the group it seems.  And yes, I see no problem with it.........raokers have sent on videos or unpostable books that then turn around and get re-gifted to someone else.  And I can see many, many other things that can be passed on too.....crafting items that don't get used, leftover party supplies, a decor item that has colors that just don't go with your house, etc..   Also a "surprise" package sent to someone here may contain items that the recipient just can't use so they may, in turn, send it on to someone who can use it.

Date Posted: 6/22/2014 9:26 AM ET
Member Since: 2/20/2006
Posts: 691
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My 2 cents as moderator this month - I see no problem with it.  I've probably done it here myself, like when I get too many sheep! (Oh wait, there's no such thing as too many!)  Or when someone is asking for stationery and I've been sent a lot by my generous RAOKer friends, I may share a bit of my bounty with others. (Well, there's no such thing as too much writing paper either,IMHO!  It will soon be extinct and Pat will be able to write on for years, thanks to many of you here.  But if I get 50 sheets of a design, and someone asks for paper, I'll certainly share, delighted to keep snail mail alive a bit longer)    If it's something you aren't going to use and re-posting it is doing a kindness for someone else, why not?  I just like to see things go to new homes, however that happens. I tell anyone who gives me note cards, when they pile up, I offer some here,so they get used instead of sitting at my house.

     I can also see the other side of this too,and can understand hurt feelings on the part of the giver. So it's a fine line.  And once a gift is given....... you know how that goes.  I have a wonderful re-gifting story from our wedding I can tell you one day - ha!

Edited because my train of thought often goes off the tracks........

 



Last Edited on: 6/22/14 10:40 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Flobee -
Date Posted: 6/22/2014 11:25 AM ET
Member Since: 9/28/2006
Posts: 2,797
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I would rather someone regift than throw something away.

Date Posted: 6/22/2014 11:38 AM ET
Member Since: 2/26/2009
Posts: 35,338
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I would rather someone regift than throw something away or not be used.

Date Posted: 6/22/2014 12:36 PM ET
Member Since: 8/17/2007
Posts: 125
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I have no problem with anyone regifting anything I send out..

Date Posted: 6/22/2014 12:52 PM ET
Member Since: 2/2/2009
Posts: 3,789
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Yeah, I agree, that it's good to re-gift rather than toss something, that's for sure (and I'd rather see items benefit the participants here than end up in Goodwill, too).  Especially if one can share the wealth with someone else who is requesting the same type of item in the "I wish" thread.  So, am glad that seems to be the consensus.  

And Pat, now we want to hear your wedding re-gifting story! smiley

Date Posted: 6/22/2014 12:56 PM ET
Member Since: 5/4/2007
Posts: 13,159
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Yes - we do!   yes

Date Posted: 6/22/2014 1:04 PM ET
Member Since: 1/24/2013
Posts: 1,253
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Pat, love what you said about keeping snail mail alive. I truly do cherish how both e-mail and PM's allow for quicker, more daily communication. It always brightens my day to discover a friendly message. Snail mail can bring an extra smile and it has always meant something a little extra to me, in a different way, to be able to hold a card of cheer. I enjoy very much looking back on some of the cards and notes both of snail and e-mail (e-cards, too) variety I have saved over the years. I have some extra precious ones from family along with others whose words of friendship mean so much to reread. So, count me in a as mail all-around fan, but an extra appreciator of the kind delivered by snail. :D

I just went way off the tracks, too, sorry about that, this is a topic close to me. As for RAOK re-gifting, IMO we come on here to spread kindness and cheer if there is a way for that to multiply than how wonderful. That said, there is a huge difference between say sending someone on here something very personal to you such as something that has either been in your family for a long time or perhaps like catsandroses ragdoll cats, helping a fellow member to complete a collection and sharing a surplus of stationery related stuff. I guess my opinion is it depends on the item but what matters most is continuing kindness and as others have shared if you do receive something that for whatever reason you don't need but know someone else might or can, to pass it along. Thank you all of you for the raok's you share and all your care, too. :) Enjoy this beautiful Sunday!

Date Posted: 6/22/2014 1:52 PM ET
Member Since: 2/20/2006
Posts: 691
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Okay, since you asked, here's the story!

Many moons ago this summer, as in 43 years!, several couples were getting married, mostly teacher friends.  One couple marrying before us, well,the girl's family was kind of high society here, when there still was such in this  little factory town. So Don and I felt we just had to give them more money as a wedding gift than was the norm in those days (which seemed to be about $10 - how times have changed!)  We came up with $15.  :) Their reception was at a really fancy place, for that time.  Music, snacks and drinks - we were waiting for an amazing dinner too.  This was BIG, ya know? Finally someone passed the word, THIS was it - no meal!  So we scrambled for anything that was left,and then stopped for pizza on the way home!

   So along comes our wedding.  We opened the gift from "Mary and Bob". It was a wonderful 3 qt. Corning casserole - loved it then, still have it 43 years later. How nice of them! Oh look, there's another card inside!  How sweet!   And that card says '"Dear Mary and Bob, if you get another  of these....." and so on. Yup, Miss High Society RE-GIFTED,and didn't even know enough to take the card out!!    I still have the card as well as the casserole. Precious!  Moral of the story - just because someone seems rich and above you, maybe not so much as you think!  We still laugh over that.

    Another gift story, kinda - many years later we got an invitation for a housewarming party. It included a very detailed list of things they wanted, so you could go pick out a nice gift for them. Unfortunately in their rush to do the gift list, they neglected to fill in any of the information on our invitation ! Really! There was no return address even, just nothing to give us a clue. One gift suggestion was an initial for their chimney - I thought of a '?', because that's how my mind works. We didn't go since we didn't know where to go or when or anything, so no worry about me re-gifting anything!  Later found out it was the one couple I thought it was, that Don said oh no they'd never do anything like that! Still have that invite too - good for another laugh.

 

Date Posted: 6/22/2014 1:57 PM ET
Member Since: 5/4/2007
Posts: 13,159
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Too funny!

Thanks for sharing, Pat. Who was it who used to say "People is the craziest animals?" Somehow, that comes to mind!

Date Posted: 6/22/2014 2:15 PM ET
Member Since: 2/2/2009
Posts: 3,789
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Great story, Pat!  Thanks for sharing!  

Date Posted: 6/22/2014 2:47 PM ET
Member Since: 1/24/2013
Posts: 1,253
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:) Pat and thanks for sharing.

Date Posted: 6/23/2014 7:06 PM ET
Member Since: 4/17/2008
Posts: 1,399
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Pat, that's hilarious!!  Thank you for sharing!

And although I'm a bit late... my 2 cents on the re-gifting here on the RAOK: I think it's totally fine and wouldn't have hurt feelings if someone passed on something I sent them :-)



Last Edited on: 11/8/14 8:53 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 6/23/2014 7:25 PM ET
Member Since: 1/27/2010
Posts: 340
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Oh my, Pat, what a funny story! Makes me wonder how many things they may have regifted over the years without checking them out fully first. Haha.

Date Posted: 6/23/2014 10:28 PM ET
Member Since: 7/25/2005
Posts: 24,545
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I think there is a difference between picking up something that was offered in the Random Acts of Kindness thread (things people have offered to anyone who wants them) and the "Wishes I can grant" thread where someone requests something particular.  As catandroses said, if she wishes for ragdoll cat items and I sent her something, my feelings would be piqued if she passed that item on in the RAOK thread.  However, if I offered up a Buddha statue in RAOK and someone requested it and I later saw them offer it up again, I would think, "Oh, maybe that found that one as scary looking as I did!" and think nothing about it.


 

Date Posted: 7/2/2014 10:49 AM ET
Member Since: 4/14/2012
Posts: 437
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I would not have a problem with anyone re-gifting items i send out 😊.  



Last Edited on: 11/21/14 3:27 AM ET - Total times edited: 2
Date Posted: 7/2/2014 5:21 PM ET
Member Since: 8/1/2005
Posts: 31
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I have no problem with re-gifting!  I like to see things used!

Date Posted: 7/8/2014 3:50 AM ET
Member Since: 10/8/2006
Posts: 143
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I agree it would not bother me to re gift anything that I have sent. I know I have not been around in awhile.  Even sometimes things for collections you get duplicates. For example I am a postage stamp collector if I get more than 2 of the same stamp I can't do anything with it so I would pass it on.  I can use 2 because my daughter collects as well. Also, there may be an item that you  misunderstood what they had. I saw something on freecycle that said cards. I thought of sport cards and what they had was greeting cards.

Date Posted: 11/6/2014 1:14 AM ET
Member Since: 10/31/2005
Posts: 4,576
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I see nothing wrong with regifting.  I do it all the time.  When someone gives me a bag of clothes for my daughter for instance and items don't fit or just aren't our style I pass them on or ebay them to get something she can actually use. 

Date Posted: 11/18/2014 6:14 PM ET
Member Since: 1/26/2007
Posts: 33
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I think it's awesome that people offer items that they can't use in the RAOK.  Share and share alike, as long as someone can find a use for it, that's all that matters. To be honest, if people didn't want the things I was giving away they might have just ended up in the trash.  One mans trash is another mans treasure, so I'd rather people have them than things ending up in the landfills.

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