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Topic: Known sperm donors

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Subject: Known sperm donors
Date Posted: 10/27/2009 7:45 AM ET
Member Since: 1/11/2006
Posts: 7,581
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We are having difficulties with the relationship we have with our donor who assisted in conceiving our son.  Has anyone else had a strained relationship post-conception/post-birth (our son is 6 months old) with this type of situation?

Date Posted: 10/29/2009 5:39 PM ET
Member Since: 6/21/2008
Posts: 6,550
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I know that this doesn't help, but to reassure you that it is happening to lots of couples, but EVERY ONE of my friends who used a donor that they know and continue to relate to, has had at least a year of adjustment difficulties.   It is hard for everyone involved to create these new relationships and kinds of families.  I wish you the best of luck and patience and your baby is beautiful!

Date Posted: 10/30/2009 10:45 PM ET
Member Since: 12/20/2005
Posts: 152
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Jessie, as you know we have a known donor, and we have had our share to misunderstandings.   We've created a family and like any family unit it doesn't always run smoothly.  The main thing is to be honest and open in any discussions involving the child.    Please feel free to PM me if you want to discuss this further and get into details.  Even with all its pit falls, I still feel that we made the best choice for your children.

Date Posted: 11/2/2009 12:27 PM ET
Member Since: 1/11/2006
Posts: 7,581
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Thanks for the responses.  Our donor starting dating a new woman shortly after Holland was conceived and about a month ago his girlfriend moved in with him, he told her about Holland, she did not react well at all, and he told us that he can have no contact with us whatsoever.  He has been friends with my partner for 10 years!  We're just very disappointed and are hoping that things will change.

Date Posted: 11/6/2009 4:42 PM ET
Member Since: 7/27/2005
Posts: 2,083
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I happened on this thread as my cousin is now pregnant, though her donor is a man who is homosexual, she is not. They have been best friends forever, and I know that his partner is none too thrilled about this. So my thoughts are with you and I hope that it all works out. Perhaps she is just jealous of the relationship he has with your partner and feeling threatened (though she has no reason to). Good luck, and btw, I didn't know you were expecting and he is absolutely beautiful!  Best of luck....