If a mad scientist somehow crossed Hunter S. Thompson with Dorothy Parker, the resultant writer stomping across the American scene would be something like Cynthia Heimel. She's smart, she's observant, she's outspoken, and she writes essays that make you bust a gut. You want opinions? She's got 'em. On nearly every subject. She's not afraid to offend. And the weird thing is, she happens to make a lot of sense.