Discussion Forums - The Writers' Forum The Writers' Forum

Topic: Living through failures and regrets.

Club rule - Please, if you cannot be courteous and respectful, do not post in this forum.
  Unlock Forum posting with Annual Membership.
Subject: Living through failures and regrets.
Date Posted: 4/13/2009 5:47 PM ET
Member Since: 4/12/2009
Posts: 5
Back To Top

We all talk about our success. We give each other help and kind words. But we never hear of the failures, the missed oppurities, our regrets. So to everyone on this forum. Talk about the failures. Talk about the horrid starts, maybe they have great endings. Talk to us about the regrets. Do you regret what you choose to do. To regret writing or did writing save you from a different regret. Talk about the bad beggining or maybe the ends.

Date Posted: 4/14/2009 12:03 PM ET
Member Since: 5/6/2008
Posts: 5,224
Back To Top

In the past couple of months I haven't typed a word.  Poor me slump for many different reasons, and I hope to start up again soon.  But, my biggest regret is I didn't start writting many, many years ago.  (MANY) 

Date Posted: 4/14/2009 2:59 PM ET
Member Since: 10/13/2007
Posts: 36,445
Back To Top

I think we have to fail in order to improve.  Nothing is better then someone telling me they did not like what I wrote and explaining why. Sure it hurts but it is more helpful then someone gushing over how much they like it.

Do I regret what I have written, no not really each is an adventure I enjoy painfully for awhile. They either work or they dont.
I think the only thing I regret the most with writing is not writing more short stories and sending them out to magazines.

I think writing happens when it happens and if I had written when I was younger, it would not have been very good because I'd not lived yet.

I cringe thinking about the first novel draft I did but no regrets because we all have to start somewhere.

Subject: Putting Yourself Out There.
Date Posted: 4/16/2009 8:57 AM ET
Member Since: 4/12/2009
Posts: 5
Back To Top

Writing is my outlet. It is my way of let out locked emotions or just plain words. When reading through my work you can most likely tell what kind of mood I was in that day. I try not to regret anything I have done in my life, because at one point that is what I really wanted to do. So if I do regret something, I write about it in my way. I have no true failures yet in my career, probably because I won't put myself out there. 

Date Posted: 4/16/2009 1:44 PM ET
Member Since: 10/13/2007
Posts: 36,445
Back To Top

I had another writing friend once tell me: You can only fail by not writing. 
I feel this is a very true thing for most writers.  Sure I have been rejected by mazagines, BUT I do not regret trying.  I also do not seeing it as failing because my main aim was just to have the nerve to send my work out :)

Subject: Having Nerve
Date Posted: 4/16/2009 5:53 PM ET
Member Since: 4/12/2009
Posts: 5
Back To Top

Xengab, your friend had the right idea. Thank You for sharing, I don't even have the nerve to show my work to those who matter.

Date Posted: 4/16/2009 7:56 PM ET
Member Since: 10/13/2007
Posts: 36,445
Back To Top

Barry- I think thats why the internet was created :).  I would rather show my internet buddies my work then coworkers or friends.

I have taken a big leap though and allowed a college copyedit class to use my short stories to practice on. (the gal has asked for help on this forum).  It did freak me out to send stuff but I am glad I did. I need to learn how to play nice with others..LOL

Date Posted: 4/16/2009 8:19 PM ET
Member Since: 12/22/2007
Posts: 589
Back To Top

I don't regret doing what I choose to do. What I have regretted is allowing others 'choose' for me. Whether it's being so desperate to get a book published that I was willing to let go of my vision for a book and turn it into something (switched up a theme/heart of the book) for the 'guarantee' sale that I thought was out there. It wasn't. I did learn from that experience and was thrilled at the encouragement I received from an editor even though they said no. I did learn what I can change that still leaves my writing strong and an editor interested and what I can't change as then the book falls flat.

I was with a small press that folded so have had that 'high' of holding 'my book' in my hand and then the low of seeing it all evaporate and then wondering if it will ever happen again ... or if it's the end and I had my chance. But, I keep trying because I can't NOT try. When I go long periods of time without writing, trying to restart a writing career, I feel down and anxious. There is something in me that says I have to write. It's part of who I am and I can't deny that part of me.

It is scary. There is no guarantee. Rejection is more of the outcome than acceptance. But, I realized it's worth the struggle, time and effort to still have the hope ... the dream ... the goal of being published again ... as an acheivable opportunity. And it's only acheivable if I keep writing.  = )

Date Posted: 6/4/2009 8:56 PM ET
Member Since: 5/27/2009
Posts: 7
Back To Top

My biggest regret is that I just spent seven years in college getting an English BA (minor in creative writing) and I didn't even bother submitting any of my work to the campus magazines or paper or anything. I basically didn't get involved in anything outside my core classes because I have worked fulltime while being in school. Once I'd get home at night, any energy or motivation would leave me and I ended up not writing anything other than assignments for most of my college career. I just graduated a month ago, and since then have probably written more in the last month then I have in the last couple of years. It makes me very anxious about my future, as I look back and see all the ways I could've taken advantage of the university to practice getting my work out there.

At the same time, what can I do now but move forward and keep writing. :)

Date Posted: 6/5/2009 10:25 PM ET
Member Since: 5/18/2008
Posts: 123
Back To Top

Oh, I have lots of problems with my writing right now. Battles are HARD for me, and I didn't realize how hard when I wrote like six of them into my plot! It has proven to be maybe the biggest challenge so far.

HML

Date Posted: 6/6/2009 3:39 PM ET
Member Since: 7/8/2005
Posts: 305
Back To Top

I put my writing on a back burner when I became involved with a man in March of 2008. He is totally the wrong kind of man and I regret having put my writing aside for him. Now I am in school and am experiencing what Meg spoke about; I am only doing homework and not writing. However it isn't all school's fault. I am still clinging to false hope that the man that I love will somehow change. So stupid of me, but it's the truth. I have let so much go for this man. It isn't worth it.

An older friend of mine once said that the only regrets we have when we are older are the things we didn't do. I hope that I don't discover that what I didn't do is finish my novel and try to submit it for publication. I am trying to figure out how to fit writing back into my life.

Date Posted: 6/7/2009 12:58 PM ET
Member Since: 4/11/2007
Posts: 1,640
Back To Top

I'm not a published writer (YET), but I've been wanting to write since I was very young. I'm 42 now, not so young, but not old, imo. My biggest regret is thinking that I didn't have what it took all those years ago. I stopped and here I am twenty plus years later and I still want to do the same thing. I still have a learning curve to get through, I still  need to armor up to deal with rejection, I still have the desire to work through the process and become published.

I should not have believed my own insecurities at age 18 and I'm sure I would be further along in the process than I am today.



Last Edited on: 6/7/09 12:59 PM ET - Total times edited: 1