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Topic: Long Time Lurker; First Time Poster

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T. -
Subject: Long Time Lurker; First Time Poster
Date Posted: 11/9/2007 1:47 AM ET
Member Since: 1/21/2007
Posts: 9,989
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I'm not spying, I'm just shy!  Ok, those of you that know me know that isn't true.  I'm not shy.  But I wasn't always that way.  Growing up I was painfully shy and timid.   I would be so anxious I would ask myself if I would die from worrying about whatever trivial thing I was worrying about. 

I wanted to share, and I wanted to share with my friends here.  I see a bunch of people I call my PBS friends hang out in here ;0)  Anyway, here goes.  When I was in high school all my friends were the people who fit in this category.  Connie and Deidre were a couple.  Tim (really Tami, but you couldn't tell--he claimed to be intersexual) and Belinda were a couple, James and Brian were a couple, and lots of us singles.  I've always been attracted to women and I am still, but my father hurt me with his words and actions in high school and instead of being who  I was meant to be I am who I am now.  My father forbade me to have the friends I had.   He made it loud and clear that being gay was not an option.  I hid it for awhile, but it became too exhausting and I just stopped being who I thought I was and became who I thought I was supposed to be.  Yes, I've had flings with beautiful gorgeous, intelligent women throughout the years, which isn't something I should be admitting on a public forum, but it did happen. 

Flash forward to now.  My nephew, who is 20, is openly gay and he makes no appologies.  I know that things are different now than they were 25 years ago, but I still think my nephew is brave and wonderful.  It was difficult for him to come out to our family, but he did, and everyone survived.  I am so proud of him.   Even now, on these forums, proof exists of extreme disdain for alternative lifestyles.

My nephew and I have had many conversations about our sexual orientation and I've always supported him, even when I was the only one that knew.  I wish I would have had that support so many years ago--but then my life would have been so different....and, well, life is ok now.

Thanks for listening....back to lurking.

Date Posted: 11/9/2007 6:44 AM ET
Member Since: 11/10/2006
Posts: 2,950
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Glad you overcame your shyness, Tammy.    :)  Welcome, anytime.   (Not so sure about them monkeys, though....lol)

Date Posted: 11/9/2007 7:44 AM ET
Member Since: 12/1/2005
Posts: 1,023
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I"m glad you overcame your shyness too.  And I think that you are an amazing & brave woman yourself.  And please don't lurk to much, come & talk and be a part of us.

Date Posted: 11/9/2007 9:43 AM ET
Member Since: 10/11/2007
Posts: 19
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Aw, Tammy...I knew there was something I liked about you!

Date Posted: 11/9/2007 7:49 PM ET
Member Since: 12/19/2005
Posts: 5,091
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Welcome Tammy!  We're all glad to see you here!

L. G. (L)
Date Posted: 11/9/2007 11:24 PM ET
Member Since: 9/5/2005
Posts: 12,412
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Hey Chickie!!  I was wondering when you would find this kind forum. :)

T. -
Date Posted: 11/10/2007 12:33 AM ET
Member Since: 1/21/2007
Posts: 9,989
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Thanks for the warm welcome!

Lyn, why were you hiding it from me?  Butthole!

Date Posted: 11/10/2007 7:07 AM ET
Member Since: 12/1/2005
Posts: 1,023
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Tammy & Lyn - LOL  Play nice girlies. hehe

L. G. (L)
Date Posted: 11/10/2007 12:49 PM ET
Member Since: 9/5/2005
Posts: 12,412
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I was just being buttly. ;)

Date Posted: 11/10/2007 1:08 PM ET
Member Since: 6/29/2005
Posts: 2,059
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Hi Tammy I am glad you are here. You are right things have changed over the years. But many are still hiding in the closet afraid of coming out.

Be TRUE to yourself and enjoy YOUR life.

Don't follow a beat to a diffrent drum

Be the Drummer !!

Date Posted: 11/10/2007 3:40 PM ET
Member Since: 5/29/2007
Posts: 13,347
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Hi Tammy, I lurked for a while too because I didn't know if it was ok to participate if I was straight.  Turns out everyone here is so nice and accepting, so I'm glad you have another area of support. 

Date Posted: 11/10/2007 4:28 PM ET
Member Since: 4/20/2006
Posts: 5,647
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Tammy, that makes me feel sad for you.  I'm sure there are a lot of people out there like you, that have had good lives and families they love, but didn't get to choose the path they most desired.  I read this My Turn piece in Neweek recently from an 80+ year old woman who had lived with her partner her whole adult life, but they only admitted to a small handful of people that they were a couple.  The article she wrote for Newsweek was her official "coming out".  I thought to myself, a person should not have to lie about themselves for 60+ years to make other people happy.  I'm glad to see the world is changing, even if it is slowly.

T. -
Date Posted: 11/10/2007 8:00 PM ET
Member Since: 1/21/2007
Posts: 9,989
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Amanda, I'm glad times are changing as well.  Coming out even a few years ago could mean an early death, depending on where you lived.  I would have loved to read the My Turn piece.

Don't get me wrong, I love my DH and can't imagine life without him.  He has known and understood my proclivities forever...and we don't like the same type of woman.   Is that weird, or what.  Anyway, at 70, my dad is the only one who won't give my nephew support and we pretty much ignore his remarks. 

I didn't think my brother, my nephew's dad, would have been as accepting.  The way he found out was my nephew and his bf were swimming in their backyard pool.  They were about 17 or so.  He saw the 2 boys kiss passionately.  He had no idea and he lost it.  He threw a fit and told my nephew's bf to never call or come over there and all kinds of stuff.   Ultimately they had a long talk and things are different now, 3 years later.  Turned out that guy was no good for my nephew anyway tho....LOL

I personally feel so different with women than with men.  I hate to admit it, but I have a greater respect for a woman that I am involved with than I have ever had for a man.  Strange, and I don't know why it is that way.

Date Posted: 11/11/2007 12:31 AM ET
Member Since: 9/16/2007
Posts: 997
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Welcome Tammy (and your monkeys!), and feel free to lurk or not, ask any questions, and just hang out.

Date Posted: 11/11/2007 2:14 AM ET
Member Since: 8/9/2005
Posts: 20,024
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Last Edited on: 8/11/10 3:46 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
L. G. (L)
Date Posted: 11/11/2007 5:28 AM ET
Member Since: 9/5/2005
Posts: 12,412
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Chris, you just spoiled Happy Feet for anyone who didn't see it. :p

It's an awesome movie. :)

 

Date Posted: 11/11/2007 9:00 AM ET
Member Since: 4/20/2006
Posts: 5,647
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Finally!  Someone explained Happy Feet to me.  Maybe one day I will actually see it.  :p

Date Posted: 11/11/2007 4:18 PM ET
Member Since: 8/9/2005
Posts: 20,024
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Sorry I didnt think it was spoiling it I didnt tell how anything happened just the basics.

Date Posted: 12/10/2007 11:08 PM ET
Member Since: 12/9/2007
Posts: 22
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I just found this website (from flyboy) yesterday and this forum today.  Hello all.  It's been wonderful reading about everyone's lives.

Date Posted: 12/11/2007 7:52 AM ET
Member Since: 12/4/2007
Posts: 652
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that helps me  in so many ways i support my sixteen year old to be whoever she wants to and i also let her cut off her very long hair because it makes her feel better about herself.....thank you

Date Posted: 12/11/2007 9:55 AM ET
Member Since: 1/11/2006
Posts: 7,581
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Hi Minh & Denise!

Denise - I'm glad your daughter has your support.  It means SO much that you let her be who she is!

L. G. (L)
Date Posted: 12/14/2007 8:46 AM ET
Member Since: 9/5/2005
Posts: 12,412
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Welcome Minh and Denise!  This forum is the soft comfy couch and warm cup of tea here at PBS! ;)

Date Posted: 12/17/2007 7:45 AM ET
Member Since: 12/4/2007
Posts: 652
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thanks for welcoming me!!!! even tho I may be straight I feel a connection I love my daughter very much but i dont get much support ffom family members they pretty much say it is what it is and even tho my husband accepts her we do get in to heated debates about some issues when it comes to her ..... so if its o.k. with you all can i ask ? if i need to or is it all about the books?there is nothing specific just need people who have experience.

Date Posted: 12/17/2007 2:52 PM ET
Member Since: 5/29/2007
Posts: 13,347
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Hi Denise, I am straight and I ask all sorts of, what are probably, silly questions, but everyone here has been welcoming and kind and answered my questions and never ever made me feel silly for asking. 

Date Posted: 12/20/2007 1:38 PM ET
Member Since: 6/29/2005
Posts: 2,059
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Julie what you will find it that we are REAL. It takes awhile to get use to that since soooooooooo many people were false faces.

Enjoy the Holidays Everyone

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