Modern Manners Author:P. J. O'Rourke A Few of P. J. O'Rourke's Rules for Living in the Modern World: — "It's better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money." — "Guns are always the best method for private suicide. Drugs are too chancy. You might miscalculate the dosage and just have a good time." — "A hat should be taken off when you greet a... more » lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat."
"There is only one hard-and-fast rule about the place to have a party: someone else's place."
"Never refuse wine. It is an odd but universally held opinion that anyone who doesn't drink must be an alcoholic."
"A woman should dress to attract attention. To attract the most attention, a woman should either be nude or wearing something as expensive as getting her nude is going to be."
"We must be as obsequious as possible to famous people and do everything in our power to make them like us. Fame is a communicable disease. And if you get screwed by someone who's got it, you may catch it yourself."« less