The Eclectic Pen - Mothers Bouquet


By: IONE L. (zaneygraylady)   + 85 more  
Date Submitted: 5/12/2007
Last Updated: 5/14/2007
Genre: Literature & Fiction » Poetry
Words: 48
Rating:


 
I transplanted her peonies
when she became ill
so when she was gone
I'd have part of her still

For she was a gardner
all of her life
besides being teacher
mother and wife

Living things flourshed
under her care
Children and flowers
grew bright everywhere

Her peonies blooming
in my garden today
She graces my home
with a fragrant bouquet


The Eclectic Pen » All Stories by IONE L. (zaneygraylady)

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Comments 1 to 10 of 10
Sandra (mycatscanread) - - 5/12/2007 7:12 PM ET
How beautiful for Mother's Day. Thanks for posting your poem.
K J. (dappledart) - 5/12/2007 10:32 PM ET
This is a lovely poem! The imagery of living things speaks very strongly. I think it would be a stronger poem without the introductory first stanza, though I don't think I would change the second to say who "she" was either. In my opinion starting simply "I transplanted her peonies..." would add interest and a touch of wonder to draw the reader deeper in the poem to learn more about who "her" is. Also it allows the reader to relate--that they too have tried to hang on to a piece of a passing loved one. I especially like the metaphor of her gracing your home through the flowers in the last stanza. It gives a peaceful sense of closure, yet continuance.
Jim H. (Pecos45) - 5/12/2007 11:28 PM ET
This pushes buttons, Ione. Before my mother died she gave me four little bits of vinca from a spot in her yard. I planted them and gave them a little care and they became a jungle with beautiful blue flowers when they bloom. Thanks for the memory.
Tina H. (EclecticHSmom) - 5/13/2007 1:08 AM ET
Very nice. I especially like the fourth stanza about the children and flowers!
Claudia R. (BrokenWing) - 5/13/2007 1:00 PM ET
very nice and appropriate for today.
BARBARA D. (TINKER) - 5/13/2007 8:47 PM ET
VERY NICE,I MISS MY MOM EVERYDAY.
Gina S. (GigiBeanz) - 5/14/2007 9:54 AM ET
Very sweet. I love the notion of keeping Mom with you through the poenies. Look at them and smile to reminisce on your time with her.
Marta J. (booksnob) - 5/14/2007 11:38 AM ET
I agree with Kalulani; would've been even stronger starting with the second paragraph. But truly poignant and sweet. I'm glad that you have her flowers to help keep her alive!
IONE L. (zaneygraylady) - 5/14/2007 3:27 PM ET
I think you are right about skipping the first paragraph. Since mothers day is over I will delete it.
Angela D. (jaylou) - 5/17/2007 4:19 PM ET
That is wonderful...I love it.
Comments 1 to 10 of 10