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Topic: a much needed romance imprint!

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Subject: a much needed romance imprint!
Date Posted: 10/30/2008 4:39 PM ET
Member Since: 5/3/2006
Posts: 6,436
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Last night my husband asked if there was ever bad sex between the hero and heroine in a romance novel. I said that it didn't happen often, but some authors had used it for interesting books, and mentioned that because romance is so chock full o' cliche, I tended to like anything that was a little different.

So he started riffing on that:

husband: "New Harlequin Maverick.... the romance for people who are sick of romance. He was... a total loser. She was--hey, what could she be?"

me: "I dunno, in romance *she* can be pretty much anything."

h: "... a lesbian."

m: "THAT'S new!"

So what to do you think, should we start our own line? ;-)

Date Posted: 10/30/2008 4:53 PM ET
Member Since: 1/20/2007
Posts: 7,052
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Absolutely Willa! Oh, and could you guys do a story about an OCD enabler and her buff boyfriend who's bulimic? I'm so tired of the drivel that's out there. LOL

Date Posted: 10/30/2008 5:13 PM ET
Member Since: 10/6/2007
Posts: 376
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Last night my husband asked if there was ever bad sex between the hero and heroine in a romance novel.

I remember being amused at Welcome To Temptation by Jennifer Crusie when the hero/heroine sorta got out of the mood during sex. That doesn't happen very often in a romance novel.

 

Date Posted: 10/30/2008 5:31 PM ET
Member Since: 7/25/2005
Posts: 24,908
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How about one where's he's an alpha misogynist and she's the frail, virginal...Oops, sorry, I was chanelling Diana Palmer for a moment there.

Date Posted: 10/30/2008 5:42 PM ET
Member Since: 10/9/2007
Posts: 812
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I've always thought that maybe there should be a "Mr. Not-Entirely-Wrong" romance line.  But, then again, we do read romances to escape reality!

Date Posted: 10/30/2008 7:37 PM ET
Member Since: 7/26/2007
Posts: 662
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How about:

He's a wealthy 30 something, closet cross dressing, heterosexual male named Bob,  and she's ....hm a 40+ something virgin (at this time and age, but this is a romance book after all!)  who works for a online women's lingerie store where he likes to shop for "his" panties, lets be original with her name and call her... Katherine, Kat for short.  One day he calls the store, hoping to have his panties special made, because they don't quite fit his package well enough. Yanno, "things" keep popping out and stuff!  Too embarrassed to go in fora  fitting. he makes her show up at his Apt.... so this romantic story of the cross dressing hero and the 40 something virgin (at this time and age) begins....

Date Posted: 10/30/2008 8:15 PM ET
Member Since: 3/11/2008
Posts: 217
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Too funny!

Tina you put some thought into that one. Keep us posted; I would read it.

Willa you may have found a new niche! :)

Jessica

Date Posted: 10/30/2008 8:25 PM ET
Member Since: 1/20/2007
Posts: 7,052
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Oops, sorry, I was chanelling Diana Palmer for a moment there.

Amen to that, Ani!!

Date Posted: 10/30/2008 8:48 PM ET
Member Since: 1/19/2008
Posts: 14,791
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Tina, you just about made me spit water all over my keyboard!  LOL!

the other idea were entertaining too.

Date Posted: 10/30/2008 8:55 PM ET
Member Since: 5/3/2006
Posts: 6,436
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I would totally read Tina's book!

Date Posted: 10/30/2008 9:19 PM ET
Member Since: 2/1/2008
Posts: 3,472
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Actually Tina, have you thought about publishing that story.  I bet one of the epublishers would take it on.  It sounded kinda interesting to me.  But then again, I read a lot of strange ebooks, I guess LOL :)

Date Posted: 10/30/2008 10:03 PM ET
Member Since: 7/26/2007
Posts: 662
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LOL... we can turn this into an erotica-romance by having our 40+ something, virginal Kat showing up at Bob's Apt with her tools, which included items like duck tape and baby oil.  

After having him try on the latest, and the most outrageously skimpy red G-string (because the crotchless stuff just didn't fit, no matter how hard he tried, maybe because he was hard... it kept falling out of the... hole).  She  then proceeded to show him how to tape his balls and everything else that hung to his anus.  Which turned into a trial because he was getting too aroused by her sexy self!  But no, she would not have sexual relations with a man until she was married,. that was a mortal sin (at this time and age), and he dare not compromise her, for then they must marry, and she did not love him.  

But oh uh.... she had completely forgotten about the hair, the hair on his balls!  His excessively  hairy balls at that! Balls so hairy that you could put dread locks in, and make you think of songs like Welcome to the Jungle (this erotica is for people with hairy fetish obviously).  Most of her clients who were cross dressers were shaved down there,  and since he'd so flustered her, she had just grabbed  everything real fast and taped it fast and easy.  1-2-3 and it was done!  As she watched him strut his stuff towards the mirrior, he turned towards her and asked,

"Do I look fat?"

 

OK, someone else add on to this story if you like, or create another one... ROFL. 

Edited again to add another line or two... lol I am sitting here laughing my arse off...



Last Edited on: 10/30/08 10:34 PM ET - Total times edited: 3
Date Posted: 10/30/2008 10:17 PM ET
Member Since: 2/28/2008
Posts: 2,553
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We have to include a catfight scene between the heroine and the ladies shoe saleswoman the hero orders from  :P



Last Edited on: 10/30/08 10:18 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 10/30/2008 11:11 PM ET
Member Since: 8/9/2007
Posts: 4,058
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Here's a real challenge for ya: take couples from cheating spouse episodes of Jerry Springer and write a romance around them:P

Date Posted: 10/31/2008 8:32 AM ET
Member Since: 7/23/2007
Posts: 1,550
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HAHA nothing like a white trash romance novel, missing teeth and a mullet or two!!

Date Posted: 10/31/2008 9:53 AM ET
Member Since: 7/30/2007
Posts: 4,275
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adding to the story. They know it it true love when they discover that they both wear the same shoe size, but then the "Big Misunderstanding" when she thinks he is dating her just so he can get his hands(I mean feet) into her Jimmy Choo's.