I Never Danced at the White House Author:Art Buchwald Department of Justice, Washington, D.C. — From the Raw Files of the FBI - Confidential — NAME: Art Buchwald SEX: Male — PRESENT RESIDENCE: Washington, D.C. — CHARACTERISTICS: Wears horn-rimmed glasses; is constantly smiling; pull left ear when nervous; constantly checks his zipper to see if his pants are open; smokes six or seven cigars a day; d... more »rinks ten cups of coffee a day - five with cream and sugar, five black.
ITEM 1: Subject writes syndicated column that appears in 500 newspapers throughout the world, including Pravda and Izvestia, which don't pay for it, but pick it up whenever it suits their purposes. Has been attacking Democrats and Republicans in print for eleven years. Before this he lived in France, where he attacked General de Gaulle.
ITEM 2: To get his stories, subject uses his enormous sex appeal to ingratiate himself with lonely and unhappy wives of administration officials, Congress, and the Supreme Court.
ITEM 3: This new bestselling Buchwald bombshell explodes with laughter on all fronts. From Women's Lib to Watergate, Buchwald leaves no topic untouched. Everything is a target for his swift, satirical genius.« less