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Topic: Offended by book sent (pls. read)

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Subject: Offended by book sent (pls. read)
Date Posted: 2/21/2009 7:40 PM ET
Member Since: 9/24/2005
Posts: 151
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Okay, um... so I ordered a book of poems.  The title is "With God by Your Side" and I was hoping to find something to either use at my son's Bar Mitzvah or to jumpstart my own writing.   I haven't looked at the book yet.  However, I'm offended that it was mailed with another book, "How to be Born Again!"  I cannot believe it!  I am totally offended and there is not an option under "received with a problem" that fits.  I got the right book, it wasn't damaged by sender OR post office, and the book that I did order did meet requestor conditions.

Still, this doesn't sit well with me.  Do I have any recourse other than mentioning this to the sender?  It was pretty presumptious of the sender.  And yes, I am sure the sender "meant no harm" but really - this is a book I do not want in my house, etc..

Date Posted: 2/21/2009 10:37 PM ET
Member Since: 10/20/2007
Posts: 1,680
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I would be thoroughly pissed.  And, in my opinion, you should let the sender know that you found the second book offensive and totally out of line. 

Date Posted: 2/22/2009 12:58 AM ET
Member Since: 9/16/2007
Posts: 1,000
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You should also absolutely contact the owner.  That's inexcusable, and the sender should be suspended or kicked out.  Odds are you aren't the only victim.  Please do PM Richard (you can use the Contact Us link at the bottom of the page).

I'm so sorry this happened to you Marcia, how disgusting.

Subject: Offensive book
Date Posted: 2/23/2009 11:42 AM ET
Member Since: 9/24/2005
Posts: 151
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I'm often guilty of over-reacting so that is why I wanted to run it by others who might understand.  I'm afraid the reponse might be that the sender meant no harm... after all, they don't know what religion I observe, right?  Also, the book of poems is called "With God by Your Side" - which, I was hoping, would be generically about God and not include Jesus poems, etc. (it does not).  I hope to get another few replies, but so far my inclination is to contact the owners as suggested so far.  I thank everyone who has responded and I notice that there are many more VIEWERs than RESPONDERs but I hope others will jump in, too.

Date Posted: 2/23/2009 2:47 PM ET
Member Since: 6/20/2007
Posts: 4,979
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Hi Marcia,

I would be royally pissed too.  I am guessing that the sender thought they were being nice by sending an extra book, so I would contact them first and explain why you were offended by the "gift".  I would wait to see their response before contacting the site owners.  I would also make sure the PM is sent from your transaction archive so that it's part of the history of that particular transaction.

Another thought.  If you haven't already marked it received, when you do mark it received, I would definitely put a note in the section "Is there anything else you want PBS to know?" about the additional book.

Date Posted: 2/24/2009 9:34 PM ET
Member Since: 9/24/2005
Posts: 151
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Okay, well I wrote to the person (and said I was offended, that I had a faith, etc.) and she totally and very nicely apologized in a short paragraph... and said she meant it as a gesture of love.  At least she didn't say it was a gesture of spreading The Word or anything like that.

Date Posted: 2/27/2009 3:39 PM ET
Member Since: 10/20/2007
Posts: 1,680
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That's good.  She probably assumed you were Christian, since they are such a majority.   I have a friend who has a bumper sticker  that reads

"BORN RIGHT THE FIRST TIME".   I  told him to take it off of his car since we were in Delaware and (unfortunately) in Klan country.

 

 

Date Posted: 2/28/2009 6:41 PM ET
Member Since: 10/17/2006
Posts: 1,427
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Oh, Marcia . . .you have my sympathy.  And my empathy, too---everytime I find myself among strangers or brand-new acquaintances, they simply ASSUME I am "some-kind-of-Christian",.  So I have to feel that same old inner irritation once again.  Sure, people go by what they see (a blue-eyed, white haired woman---not swarthy, not wearing a headcovering and/or veil, etc., but still . . . . . they promptly leap to "pigeonhole" a person..  As one of the other posters said, it is just so PRESUMPTUOUS, isn't it? 

At times, I've been tempted to get a great, honking big CHALICE (U-U symbol) from the AUA, and hang it around my neck, and see if that makes any difference to all those folks so accustomed to being the majority group!  Ah well . . . . the people who KNOW me and love me, or are friendly toward me, or at least tolerant of me, are well aware to the truth of the matter, and I cherish them for their NOT trying to proselytize!  It makes me remember a wonderful quote from Jimmy Durante-----"Why can't everybody leave everybody else the hell alone?"

Date Posted: 3/1/2009 12:43 AM ET
Member Since: 5/13/2006
Posts: 2,157
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Hi Marcia, I would have been very upset if someone send this book to me.  We are practicing Catholics and do not permit " born-again" materials in our home.  I'm glad you let her know that her "gift" was not acceptable.