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Topic: People trying to tell you not to home school UGH!!!

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Subject: People trying to tell you not to home school UGH!!!
Date Posted: 8/16/2007 2:02 PM ET
Member Since: 6/10/2007
Posts: 10,401
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"Why do you homeschool?"

"You should look in to the Christian school down the road from you!"

"You're crazy for keeping your kids with you all day long!"

"That Christian school I was telling you about is only $250 a month, and if you enroll another kid, it's $350 a month total. They'd let you put your preschooler in, too. They start taking them at 2 1/2 years old. You could get rid of both kids from 8 am to 3:30 pm Monday thorugh Friday!"

"Is your daughter special needs? Is that why you keep her home?"

"Well, my son's school is awesome because they wear uniforms!"

"But you haven't even given this school district a chance. Why not enroll her and see what happens? You can always go back to homeschooling if it doesn't work out..."

ARRRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!

I homeschool because I care. I homeschool because I don't agree with teacher's pets, teaching for the test, missing recess to finish learning for the test, bullying, having to ask to use the bathroom, having to raise your hand until you can't hold it up any longer to ask a question, not learning a math concept because the rest of the class moves on before you get it, waiting for the "slow kid" to "get it" before you move on in language arts, keeping God out of the classroom, workbook busy work, never delving into the question "Why?", coming home dehydrated because you are not allowed to drink water when you're thirsy, coming home with bruises because the hully threw a ball at you on the playground and hte teacher only told her to stop, one-size-fits-all educating, not being allowed to call home when your tummy hurts, eating breakfast at 5 am to make it to school on time and not getting home until almost 4, bringing home 2 hours of homework in 2nd grade Monday through Friday, learning about alternate lifestyles in kindergarten, metal detectors in every doorway, fundraising just to get text books, cafeteria food, dirty kids, hearing about incestuous relationships at another child's home, and so many more reasons!!!

I DID look into the Christian school down the road. Being a Christian school doesn't make it any better. Just because the parents pay tuition doesn't make the kids more well-beaved, the teachers any better, or the playground any safer from bullies. I should know. I went to Catholic school.

You're crazy for sending them away to be taught by strangers and educated by children. I'm perfectly sane for wanting to teach my children and trian them up in the Lord.

I would NEVER send my two and a half year-old away for the entire day. (although she'll be four on Sunday). How could YOU want to? You're a stay at home mom; why would you want to send your children away? I love my children. Sure, every moment is not paradise, but I am certainly glad that they are here with me instead of being taught by Lord-knows-who. Teachers turn out to be drug addicts, teachers buy hookers, teachers sleep with their students, teachers molest their students, teachers are not perfect. I'm sure there are good ones out there, but I am not going to find out. My children are my responsibility. I will never understand the parents that are glad to be rid of the babies they MADE. I just don't get it. This particular person told me that she was so relieved that school was starting tomorrow...IN FRONT OF HER CHILDREN!

Yes, my daughter has special needs. She needs to be able to ask any question she wants. She needs to know her parents love her and want her. She needs to be properly educated. She needs to feel free to learn. She needs to know God. She needs good friends, not bullies. She needs to know that she can count on her mom and dad and sister to catch her when she stumbles. She needs a good values system. She needs to know how to interact with children and adults of all ages.

Uniforms make a school awesome? So not only are we putting a group of 30 children in one room, who are the same age, relative height and weight, but also the same clothes. They must all keep silent except for 20 minutes on the playground, and they may only speak when the teacher calls on them. Are we raising humans, or worker ants?

I can always go back to homeschooling if it doesn't work out? Homeschooling is working out! Why mess with a great system?

I want to be your friend, o negative one, but I can't continue a relationship with you if you insist on trying to convert me every time I talk to you. I don't try to convert you, so leave my education choice alone. Seriously.

If you got this far, you deserve a medal. Thank you for listening to my rant.

:D

 

Date Posted: 8/16/2007 2:56 PM ET
Member Since: 4/11/2007
Posts: 1,640
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You go girl!!!  I only have one so I get the socialization one a lot.  I had some poor Christian woman at a garage sale just give the most pitiful look.  I almost had to laugh.  I'm homeschooling for a lot of the reasons you listed.  Our son was in private school for prek and k and you know what, I missed him! I really can't imagine educating him any differently.

Of course, I always tell my son if he was in "regular" school he'd have to wear shirt and shoes in class.  I'm going to print your "rant" and post it on my frig.

 

 

Date Posted: 8/16/2007 3:27 PM ET
Member Since: 2/21/2006
Posts: 457
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Michelle~

I not only read your post once, I read it again!  I wanted to be sure the following statement was true before I posted it.

I agree wholeheartedly with every single sentence you wrote in response to your friends' comments.

I have often wanted to say to people (and have actually said to a few close friends), "Why do you have kids if you don't want to be around them?"  That's not to say that homeschooling is for everyone, but parents should at least miss their kids a little bit when they send them off to school.  I have a friend (OK, close acquaintance) who DANCES in her garage when the dad drives away with the kids on the mornings that our homeschool group has Community Day.  So the kids see that Mom is completely happy when they leave the house.  ?!?!?  I wonder how their homeschooling days go?

~Jori

Date Posted: 8/16/2007 4:04 PM ET
Member Since: 1/26/2006
Posts: 41
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Amen Michelle.  I know there are good and bad teachers in the public and private schools just like there are some homeschooling parents that are doing a great job and others that shouldn't be homeschooling at all.

I agree with all of your points except the workbook part. I like having my workbooks and test books, etc. We are asked to show them at homeschool reviews. They are on our review sheet along with where we are (subject and page wise) at the time of the reviews and I have to show workbook pages for everyday of the school year and have them dated. I am also asked to show a grade book with tests taken with dates they were taken on like the public school does. It doesn't bother me at all to do this. I feel like I am blessed to be home homeschooling and the least I can do is to show them these papers to show the work was done and the tests were taken in all the subjects except art and music.

My mother in law didn't like the idea of us homeschooling along with strangers that saw us out in public.  It was our decision to homeschool and we love it.  We don't care what anyone says about it.  We know what is best for our kids and we are doing what we think is best for them. Others disagree with us but that is okay. They have the right to send their children to school if they want to or if they have to do so.

I do understand why some of the schools are starting to wear uniforms. It is so that they can't tell which kids have more than other kids. If they are all dressed the same children can't pick on others for not having much money, or name brand clothes. Some kids are cruel.

Bobbie Jo

 



Last Edited on: 8/16/07 4:10 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 8/16/2007 4:20 PM ET
Member Since: 7/24/2007
Posts: 20
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Love it and gonna print it out! Exactally how I feel. 

Date Posted: 8/16/2007 4:28 PM ET
Member Since: 6/10/2007
Posts: 10,401
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Here, the reason for school uniforms is student safety. They say it's so that administration can see who is not supposed to be there. Wow.

Oh, and my comment on workbooks....I don't know how many of you have any experience with the public school system, but they utilize mimio's, workbooks, etc as a form of crowd control and busy work to fill up the day. It's not the same as the math workbook my daughter does every day. It's all of those crossword puzzles, coloring sheets, etc that are all wonderful for FREE TIME, but have no place in education that get to me. Busy work and interruptions are the two big reasons why public school days are so long.

Date Posted: 8/16/2007 4:59 PM ET
Member Since: 11/29/2006
Posts: 1,670
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I couldn't agree more!  I actually had one person ask me once if the reason I chose to homeschool was because I hated my daughter.  I'm sorry, but if I hated my child, would I want her home with me every day?  Would I be trying to teach her morals and about God if I hated her?  Would I even care if I hated her?  People are so quick to jump to conclusions about those of us who choose to homeschool our children and usually the ones who criticize are the ones who choose public school as a babysitter for their children so they don't have to deal with them every day.  The ones who have their kids in public school because it's the best option for them aren't the ones who criticize my choices.  Well I'm not sorry for doing what's best for my kid and I sure as heck won't apologize to anyone for choosing to homeschool. 

Date Posted: 8/16/2007 5:07 PM ET
Member Since: 7/12/2007
Posts: 137
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LOVE it!

You said very well what I've been trying to tell my family for the last few years.

 

Date Posted: 8/16/2007 5:56 PM ET
Member Since: 1/26/2006
Posts: 41
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Michelle,

  After typing about the workbooks and posting  it. I remembered  when our son took speech classes the moms that helped out in the classrooms made extra copies of worksheets for the kids to do to keep them busy.

I haven't heard anything about uniforms for safety here. Here, they are doing it at some schools so everyone is treated the same.

Thanks for sharing,

Bobbie Jo



Last Edited on: 8/16/07 6:01 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 8/16/2007 6:31 PM ET
Member Since: 5/27/2007
Posts: 73
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If children wear uniforms will they all be treated the same? Should they all be treated the same? Each child is unique and special. I went to a school that had uniforms and all the students hated them. We had no way to express our God-given individuality. I wore lots of bracelets because there wasn't a rule against it. It was frustrating trying to be pressed into a mold.

I understand trying to help children deal with the social pressures but I don't really think uniforms will help. Besides in life not everyone has the same amount of money, or cars, or anything. Life isn't about fair and even. Learning contentment and the value of the individual are better virtues than trying to make everyone the same.

Renae

P.S. I am writing a series on why I home school on my blog. The idea actually came from our other discussion on this topic but my reasons apply here as well. If you are interested the link is below...

 

Date Posted: 8/16/2007 9:57 PM ET
Member Since: 5/16/2007
Posts: 2
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Oh yeah,  for some reason we're getting lots of input from friends and family about homeschooling and this is our 3rd official year.  My own parents were against it, but now that they've seen what and how we do things, they completely support it. 

I agree with most everything you wrote and it sounds great!  I'll have to remember some of those replies.  I had a friend really going into it about how my boys were missing out on so much because we homeschool and she was wondering why we kept at it.  I was so exasperated that the only answer I finally came out with was, "We homeschool so that we can go on vacation when everyone else in school."  She definitely couldn't argue that one.

Wendy

Date Posted: 8/17/2007 12:04 AM ET
Member Since: 1/19/2007
Posts: 25
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Dear Michelle,

First of all, {HUGS} to you for having to be put on the defense like this by a "friend"!  I wanted to ask, was one person responsible for all of those negative remarks?  If so, I would avoid that person like the plague!  She may not be making you physically ill, but she is definitely making you heart-sick! 

I think we have all been subject to these interrogations disguised as conversations before!  I never cease to be amazed by random people!  A fellow h/s friend came to pick up her 6yo son from the babysitters at the gym, and these ladies had made up a math worksheet for him to do!  Say what?!!  You can bet they didn't think of doing that for any of the schooled kids!  And what business is it of theirs anyway!

I think most mainstream parents find homeschoolers very threatening.  It's b/c what we do is almost in opposition to what they do (sending their kids away from them to be educated, by strangers).  So they feel that if we are doing the "right thing" then they must somehow be doing the "wrong thing".  It is that niggling doubt that causes them to lash out and try to convince us that we are wrong.  For the most part, I try to avoid discussing homeschooling, except with other hsers.  If asked, I try to be very general and then change the subject.  Very few people are actually interested in what it is we do, and are more interested in trying to debate the subject.  It is hard not to be drawn in, because we are so passionate about our choices, and positively glow with pride in our children.  

I have been hurt the most by family members or friends that I tried to win over in regards to homeschooling.  I have learned to let go.  I can't change their minds, but I can find other ways to connect with them.  My kids are bright and engaging, it is easy to follow their lead.  They make it seem so effortless.  As for others who don't truly care for me and my kids, well, I just don't have room in my life for them. 

You're not alone Michelle!  Next time someone starts in on you, just imagine all of us standing there with you, and draw strength from our combined presence!

Amity

PS  I love your definition of special needs!!!



Last Edited on: 8/17/07 12:14 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 8/17/2007 12:45 AM ET
Member Since: 2/2/2007
Posts: 4,588
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Here in LosAngeles County the kids wear uniforms to avoid gangs & gang colors in school.

 

Just another reason to homeschool.

 

Char

Date Posted: 8/17/2007 12:58 AM ET
Member Since: 6/10/2007
Posts: 10,401
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Amity, YES...ONE person in ONE conversation. Actually, she was still babbling on while I was composing that message (thus the typos).

It's so easy to think of come-backs after the fact. It's a lot harder to say them to someone at the time.  Sigh.

 

Date Posted: 8/17/2007 1:57 AM ET
Member Since: 4/9/2006
Posts: 102
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Michelle~

Thanks!  I love your post and agree with most of it.  I really haven't (in 14 years) experienced that much overt opposition.  I'm sure there are people who don't like our decision, but they either know I don't really care what they think, or I'm too busy to notice that they have a problem with me. :)

Actually, in our small town , we have had a lot of positive responses from people who see us in the store during school hours, etc.  Many of these people are older folks who see the difference between our (definitely not perfect) children and the "regular" kids. 

 Off topic, but thank your husband for serving.  And thank you.

Amity~

'I think most mainstream parents find homeschoolers very threatening.  It's b/c what we do is almost in opposition to what they do (sending their kids away from them to be educated, by strangers).  So they feel that if we are doing the "right thing" then they must somehow be doing the "wrong thing".'

I find this to be very true with those who don't really know me and don't know my heart.  This I have experienced.

Although I am 100% pro-homeschool, have been hsing for years, and feel this is totally right for our family, I also know people who under no circumstances should be homeschooling.  There are also kids I know who would be much better off if they were in public school and away from their parents.  (I'm talking dysfunction here.) 

Ten years ago I thought anyone who would send their kid to public school was an infidel-lol-so the judgementalism goes both ways.

Blessings,

Tonja

 eta:  I'm not implying that anyone here is/was being judgemental...just admitting that I was.



Last Edited on: 8/17/07 2:09 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 8/17/2007 1:56 PM ET
Member Since: 9/14/2005
Posts: 5,499
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Michelle, I'm sorry you had to deal with so much negativity from a "friend!"  Egads!!!

Personally, I'm getting tired of the "When will you put him back in *real* school?" and the grilling of my son by certain family members to see if he's learning anything.  Argh!  I find it incredible that people think it's acceptable to be sooooooo judgemental of hsing.  I would never walk up to another family member and start quizing their kid on whether or not they're learning anything in public school.  How rude!!!  And "real school"????  Seriously, don't get me started on what they're "learning" there.

 

Date Posted: 8/17/2007 3:19 PM ET
Member Since: 9/18/2005
Posts: 6,944
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Michelle...I will come back and write more later...but I want to AMEN you in your words as a whole.  :)  I want to ask persmission from you, and some others here as well, to copy and paste these comments into an email to some other hsing friends of mine?  Please?  :)  I know they would love ot have this 'on file' so to speak and would definitely enjoy reading it.

Will come back for more later...need to go play Candy Land with my boys! :)

Date Posted: 8/17/2007 4:31 PM ET
Member Since: 9/18/2005
Posts: 6,944
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Tonja said:  Although I am 100% pro-homeschool, have been hsing for years, and feel this is totally right for our family, I also know people who under no circumstances should be homeschooling.  There are also kids I know who would be much better off if they were in public school and away from their parents.  (I'm talking dysfunction here.) 

Tonja, I know many of these people and some of them are the ones who make these snide comments about their kids.  They are the ones who shouldn't even attempt hsing until they have had a change of heart.

I have had many people at church have opposite reactions to us when they find out we hs.  Many of them say, Good for you.  Still others say, "Better you than me...I couldn't stay home all day and try to teach my knuckleheads anything...."  To which I say, "then, homeschooling clearly isn't for you."  No hard feelings, just fact.   Many people once they get to know me as a person and THEN find out we hs (I don't just broadcast it to everyone), will 'quiz' me on our curriculum...and admit to me that they are ignorant of the laws on hsing.  When i tell them how few hours it takes us to get our schoolwork done, they are amazed and often say, "What do the schools do all day?"  But then, it's not enough to change their minds...and that is okay.

I came from the public school system.  And I loved it!  But...and this is a big BUT!  It was NOT like it is now.  Things have changed more in the last 10 years, than they did in the 30 years prior to that.  I will NOT subject my children to the sinfulness of this world any faster than I have to.  I don't believe in sheltering my children to the point of naivete and ignorance.  But I do believe in protecting them and teaching them slowly.

Okay, off my soapbox.  LOL

 

Date Posted: 8/17/2007 7:09 PM ET
Member Since: 6/10/2007
Posts: 10,401
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Very well-said, Amanda, and you are more than welcome to share my post.

Date Posted: 8/18/2007 11:10 AM ET
Member Since: 5/27/2006
Posts: 200
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I agree that some people shouldn't homeschool.  I know this one woman who hated having to pick up her DD from school.  Only because she didn't want to deal with her.  She kept bugging me about homeschooling.  I gave her catalogs to let her see prices on books, etc. (trying to discourage).  Luckily, the little girl is back in PS this year.  At least there, I know she gets few twice a day.

Date Posted: 8/18/2007 1:42 PM ET
Member Since: 6/10/2007
Posts: 10,401
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Please tell me you didn't mean to write 'food" here in place of 'few':

At least there, I know she gets few twice a day.

 

Date Posted: 8/18/2007 2:50 PM ET
Member Since: 11/29/2006
Posts: 1,670
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I'm afraid she probably did.  That really bothered me too.  The thought of a child not being fed horrifies me beyond belief.



Last Edited on: 8/18/07 2:50 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 8/19/2007 3:04 AM ET
Member Since: 7/6/2005
Posts: 404
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I am a grandmother and have been encouraging my daughter to quit her job and home school her girl.  She will be 12 next month.  I agree with all of you moms!  I applaud you, keep up the good work.  I notice that a lot of homeschoolers are Christian.  I too am Christian and find it appalling what is going on in schools.   It's horrible you have to have discouraging comments from "well wishers".  I never understood the women who said: "thank God school is starting and the kids are going back".  I loved having my kids at home.  I don't understand why women today want kids when their careers are first.  Some can hardly wait to dump them into nursery school.  I have met several working moms who have their moms raising their kids for them.  Not only do the grandmothers have the kids during the day (when they are not in school) but they baby sit so the affluent couple can enjoy “evening out without the kids”.  They proudly display the kid’s photos on their desks! 

Date Posted: 8/21/2007 5:10 PM ET
Member Since: 11/29/2006
Posts: 1,670
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You know, I've read this several times and I really love this comment:

 

Yes, my daughter has special needs. She needs to be able to ask any question she wants. She needs to know her parents love her and want her. She needs to be properly educated. She needs to feel free to learn. She needs to know God. She needs good friends, not bullies. She needs to know that she can count on her mom and dad and sister to catch her when she stumbles. She needs a good values system. She needs to know how to interact with children and adults of all ages.

 

I absolutely could not agree more with this!

Date Posted: 8/21/2007 6:41 PM ET
Member Since: 6/10/2007
Posts: 10,401
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(blushing)

Gosh....I was just venting, I didn't expect to have such an overwhelming response! I'll say this, though: It's so good to feel united with other mothers over this issue. It's rare in my town (or at least under wraps).

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