The Eclectic Pen - Pills

By: Kristy S. (Kiliki)  
Date Submitted: 2/22/2007
Genre: Biographies & Memoirs » Arts & Literature
Words: 629

The only things keeping her awake are those little pills she eats every day. Eight a day. Twenty or more on bad days.
As she slides the long black glove onto her milky skin, I look at the clock.
She’s already 52 minutes late, but she doesn’t care. No matter how late she is, they’ll all still be waiting for her. They’ll congratulate her with applause, cover her rouged cheeks with dry kisses. She’ll smile at them insipidly with coolness only she possesses.
The wait staff will keep the Dom Perignon glasses filled with champagne chilled to her required temperature. Stuffed figs, artichoke tartlets, and crab stuffed pastries will arrive, at her request even though she won’t eat them.
After about thirty minutes, she’ll start with her first panic attack of the night, escape to her private bathroom where I’ll supply her with her next does of pills. I’ll force her to eat crackers, maybe three, so that the pills don’t tear up her stomach any more than they already have. Celia will fix her make up, covering the black tears with porcelain.
Before she goes back for another round of champagne and plastered smiles, I’ll remind her to kiss Iris goodnight.
She’ll walk across the marble floor of the hallway to the baby’s room, her four-inch spikes clicking. I’ll hear her talking to Iris in a shaky voice, tears forming in her throat. She’ll tell her the same story that she tells her six nights a week.
She tells Iris the story of her father, never stopping to realize that Iris is still a baby and that, at 14 months, a baby doesn’t understand these things. She doesn’t understand that her mom sucked down 28 pills and about three bottles of champagne that night. She doesn’t understand that her father, whose last name her mother hadn’t bothered to get, was probably just as stoned and drunk as her mother was 23 months ago. He just wanted to sleep with someone like her so that he could go back to his bartender job the next night and tell his regulars about his latest conquest with a big screen actress.
Before the story ends with the usual, “…and that’s why I named you Iris,” I will have entered the room, gathered her so that Celia can fix the black tears again. She would need to make one more appearance.
I’ll feed her two more pills, maybe four, depending on how black the tears are and we’ll return to the party.
Her return will be noticed, just as her departure was. Her publicist Ava will try to rattle off a list of appointments she has in the upcoming weeks, but I’ll introduce Ava to some B movie actor whose awkward, cocky flirtations will distract her from her job. I’ll do whatever it takes to get 30 more minutes out of her before the next attack comes.
I’ll see the safe place in the room. It won’t be crowded by anyone but her two friends who we employ to simply be everywhere we are. Besides the pills, they are the only things that keep her from melting.
Her latest co-star and ex-boyfriend will saunter past her, a skinny laughing blond on his arm. From across the room, I see it starting. This time, her friends grab her hands and lead her to the kitchen, giggling at nothing to create a distraction from the black tears.
In the kitchen, I’ll feed her some more pills, probably four because ex-boyfriends always destroy her. I’ll sneak her up the back stairs to the safety of her room, where she will completely collapse.

Kristy Smethwick 2006
Obviously this isn't complete. I need help determining where to go...

The Eclectic Pen » All Stories by Kristy S. (Kiliki)

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Comments 1 to 8 of 8
Lamont F. - 2/22/2007 10:32 AM ET
Sounds real. Keep it up!
Claudia (BrokenWing) - 2/22/2007 1:36 PM ET
and we think that movie stars lead such glamorous perfect lives. so tragic...thanks for sharing.
Lindsey B. (Lindsey) - 2/22/2007 2:36 PM ET
This is great. So dysfunctional.
Marta J. (booksnob) - 2/22/2007 5:11 PM ET
I agree--keep going! Sounds very authentic.
IONE L. (zaneygraylady) - 2/22/2007 5:29 PM ET
It reminds me of poor Anna Nicole. Tragic. You have a great start.
Peggy Jean E. (literaryswapper) - 2/23/2007 10:37 AM ET
I find this compelling - especially since I have a problem with prescribed medication and sometimes abusing them. I have panic attacks along with agoraphobia and social anxiety. Keep going - you've got it!
Gina S. (GigiBeanz) - 2/24/2007 9:47 PM ET
I would love to see where this goes. Hits Hollywood(as the media displays it) right on the head. Please continue...
Michele H. (MooingInCC) - 2/25/2007 11:34 AM ET
Great start Kristy! I really "feel" through your words. What about some introspection by your subject about her past and what was lacking in it that lead her to this lifestyle, and what her hopes for the future were, and is there any hope that she'll pull out of this and make those hopes a reality? Look forward to reading more.
Comments 1 to 8 of 8