The Eclectic Pen - Playing Russian Roulette With Hoodlum Tea Bags


By: Marla Maye L. (WalnutStreetBooks)   + 14 more  
Date Submitted: 11/19/2008
Last Updated: 11/27/2008
Genre: Humor & Entertainment » Humor
Words: 169
Rating:


  I am drinking a cup of hot tea.

I have a whole shelf, full of tea bags.

All in their own little boxes.

I have boxes of Wild Berry Zinger, Cinnamon Apple Spice, Orange Pekoe, Black Cherry Berry, Hoodia, Smooth Move, Peppermint, and Sleepy Time teas.

Not all of my tea bags have labels.

Five or six of my unlabeled tea bags have escaped from their little boxes. They have congregated together, in a dark corner of the shelf.

These unlabeled tea bags are what I call the Hoodlum teas.

They all look alike.

They all smell alike.

I can not tell exactly what kind of tea they are.

I am not going to throw away a perfectly good tea bag.

So, every once in awhile, I play Russian Roulette.

I boil a cup of hot water, and throw a Hoodlum tea bag in there.

I never know if it is a tea to help me sleep, or one of those other helpful teas (think Smooth Move).

I just played Russian Roulette.

I am waiting to see how strong the tea bag bullet was.



The Eclectic Pen » All Stories by Marla Maye L. (WalnutStreetBooks)

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Comments 1 to 11 of 11
ericjasongastelum - 11/19/2008 3:49 PM ET
i LUST tea
Marta J. (booksnob) - 11/19/2008 5:22 PM ET
Thank you--I now have a name for those homeless, nameless critters. Hope your last cup wasn't invaded by a felon!
Joyce M. (j3m) - 11/20/2008 6:00 PM ET
wow you really are a risk taker. hehe
Colleen T. (rainbowbrite98) - 11/20/2008 10:24 PM ET
I love reading anything you have to say Marla Maye. You are by far one of my favorite people! :)
Marla Maye L. (WalnutStreetBooks) - 11/20/2008 10:50 PM ET
Thank-you, Colleen R. and others. My problem is, drawing the essays I write to conclusion. This one was a hard one to end. I welcome anyone that has constructive criticism about this, or anything else I write.
xengab - 11/21/2008 12:58 PM ET
"Sometimes an unlabeled tea bag slips out of it's little box and hangs around, on the back of the shelf, with other unlabeled tea bags, which have also escaped from their own little boxes." This sentence is a little too long, you could rework it into two sentences. End it just before the "which have also escape" part and reword that part into a new sentence. I would capitalize H for Hoodlum since it is a name for those wayward tea bags. "So, every once in awhile, I play Russian Roulette with the hoodlum teas bags." Leave off 'with the hoodlum tea bags' it adds alittle suspense for the next line. "or one of those other helpful tea bags (think Smooth Move)." Drop the ()and use a comma. "and put a hoodlum tea bag in there" since they are hoodlum tea bags, PUT seems a passive word to use, maybe throw, drop or dangle would be a better. Make it more dramatic. Since the reader HAS got to the end of the page, you must assume they care about what is going on. Get rid of "and put a hoodlum tea bag in there" and just leave the "check back with me tomorrow" "So far as I can tell, it was one of the minor hoodlum tea bags." you could name which ones you think it was in another sentence. IE I have a feeling the hoodlum teabag was peppermint or cherry berry. Overall it was a funny story and I enjoyed it. Hope my comments help you tighten the story :)
Marla Maye L. (WalnutStreetBooks) - 11/21/2008 4:15 PM ET
Pam L. Thanks again. I appreciate constructive criticism. I will look at revising this. I liked your suggestions. It will be interesting to take another look at it, in the manner you suggested.
Ellen H. (OWNIE) - 11/24/2008 12:55 AM ET
Nice, Marla Maye - very funny and interesting, quick read! I like it.
Marla Maye L. (WalnutStreetBooks) - 11/24/2008 10:37 AM ET
THE AUTHOR COMMENTS: Pam L., I just made some minor changes to the above story and have PM'd you to take a look. Thanks, Marla Maye
Lena S. (SquirrelNutkin) - 11/25/2008 7:50 AM ET
:) thanks for the smile you brought
Lenore M. (bookstacks) - 12/16/2008 7:14 PM ET
such a universal theme. I think even non tea drinker could identify with this one some level, like when I have a headache and the cap comes off the ibuprofen in my handbag and I think about taking an unidentified pill in the search for a headache remedy but I'm not really sure what that is... I think you have a really strong voice and your personality comes thru very well in your writing.
Comments 1 to 11 of 11