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Topic: problem swap-extemely rude sender

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Subject: problem swap-extemely rude sender
Date Posted: 11/28/2009 8:13 PM ET
Member Since: 9/18/2008
Posts: 387
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I recently got a wish listed book I've been waiting for to add to my permanent collection and was really looking forward to getting it.  When it arrived, the spine of this hardcover book was completely broken front and back, with several pages falling out.  The extent of the damage could not have happened in transit, I've shipped and received books for over 10 years and never seen this kind of damage done in shipping.  I marked it RWAP and contacted the sender.  I requested my credit back and told her why. 

First she demanded I send the book and packing back (a simple envelope) athough PBS says you don't have to.  I refused but offered to take photos of the damage so she could see it.  And told her I did not feel the damage was done in transit.  I was polite.

I posted the photos to my website and sent her the link.  While she did give me my credit back, she also accused me of taking photos of a different book!  Called me a liar and was extremely rude!  As well as calling me a liar, she told me to never order another book from her again....(not that I'd want to if she sends out damaged books like this).

I contacted PBS because there is no way to mark the problem resolved and note the fact that this person was extremely rude including name calling.  While waiting for a reply from PBS, the sender demanded I mark the problem resolved and was downright threatening.  I responded and told her that I had contacted PBS for guidance and was waiting for a reply before doing anything further. 

PBS said they had noted my complaint to this person's account..  After that, this person again PM'd me calling me a liar again! 

So my question, should I contact PBS again about this person's rude behavior or just let it go.  I was polite.  I told the sender clearly why I wanted my credit back and provided her with photos of the damage.  I continued to be polite in the face of her rudeness and told her why I had not marked it resolved yet.   Any thoughts?

I keep getting problem books and am getting very fed up about it.

Thanks,

Tory

Date Posted: 11/28/2009 8:16 PM ET
Member Since: 1/30/2009
Posts: 5,696
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What an awful experience!  I'm so sorry.  I would definitely make sure TPTB know what's going on.  If it was my site, I'd really, really want to know this. 

Date Posted: 11/28/2009 8:46 PM ET
Member Since: 10/23/2005
Posts: 7,719
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Tory,

You may want to copy and paste the PMs from this member into another message to the PBS Team. It couldnt hurt that they can see them in your message to them.

Hopefully they will stop bothering you. Most folks here are very nice, hopefully you will only have swaps with the great ones from now on.

Date Posted: 11/28/2009 8:57 PM ET
Member Since: 8/25/2007
Posts: 13,134
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If she returned your credit, then the problem WAS resolved and you should mark it thusly, though I would probably forward her rude PMs to PBS and let them decide what, if anything, should follow.

Cathy A. (Cathy) - ,
Date Posted: 11/28/2009 9:52 PM ET
Member Since: 12/27/2005
Posts: 4,132
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I agree that you should mark the problem resolved if you got your credit back. Then you should forget it and move on. Rudeness is very often in the eye of the beholder, and if your photos were at all ambiguous, it's not exactly rude to suggest that you may have mixed up two books.

Did your photos include the book's title and the packaging material as well? If you only took pictures of a broken spine, then it's possible you only showed blank end papers, or the interior text pages, and the actual book could be hard to identify.

Date Posted: 11/28/2009 10:35 PM ET
Member Since: 9/13/2007
Posts: 2,520
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Repeatedly calling you a liar is way over the line and I don't see how it could be seen as anything other than rude. I would message the team again and tell them that she is continuing to harass you and ask them if her behavior is enough to warrant an unresolved mark despite the credit being returned. Personally, I don't think that giving the credit back should give this member a free pass to harass and berate another member. There is absolutely no excuse for this kind of behavior.

Date Posted: 11/28/2009 10:58 PM ET
Member Since: 1/17/2009
Posts: 9,779
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Since she returned the credit, you should mark this resolved. An "Unresolved RWAP" vs. a "Resolved RWAP" is a book and a PBS credit issue, not any other kind of issue .... and since you got your credit back, your book issue is resolved.

The rudeness is completely separate from the book issue. Since you have already reported the rudeness to PBS, I am not sure what else you would do at about it.

Sorry you had a bad experience, but I wouldn't let it bother you too much. Just mark it resolved and forget about it!

Date Posted: 11/28/2009 11:50 PM ET
Member Since: 2/24/2009
Posts: 160
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I would mark it resolved and I would also forward all her pm's on to the PBS team.

 There's rudeness and then there's harrassing someone and she's over the line as far as Im concerned.

 No one should be made to feel that way. :(

Date Posted: 11/29/2009 12:12 AM ET
Member Since: 8/16/2007
Posts: 15,187
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Mark it resolved and respond to her PMs that it has been marked as such and you expect her PMs to stop.  Let her know that if they do not you will consider it harassment and forward them all to the Team.

Date Posted: 11/29/2009 2:02 AM ET
Member Since: 8/9/2007
Posts: 4,058
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I contacted PBS because there is no way to mark the problem resolved and note the fact that this person was extremely rude including name calling.  While waiting for a reply from PBS, the sender demanded I mark the problem resolved and was downright threatening.  I responded and told her that I had contacted PBS for guidance and was waiting for a reply before doing anything further. 

PBS said they had noted my complaint to this person's account..  After that, this person again PM'd me calling me a liar again!

This, to me, is harassment, so it's already "on" so to speak, and there wouldn't be any "either stop it or I'll report it to PBS" to it from me; I'd just go ahead and copy & paste the harassing PMs into a "contact PBS" message, outside of the transaction dialogue, and send it to them separately as a complaint.  She's breaking the rules, and IMO, needs a bit of a time out:P  By all means, mark the RWAP resolved.  If you report the harassment separately - which under the circumstances you should, even if she didn't resolve the RWAP problem - then they aren't just seeing an RWAP & thinking everything is cool because it has been marked resolved.  Whoever above that said it's a separate issue is correct.  PBS doesn't mediate swaps, but they will straighten someone out for rude & harassing PMs.

Date Posted: 11/29/2009 8:47 AM ET
Member Since: 5/29/2007
Posts: 13,347
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Not 2 weeks ago I had a similar experience, I got my credit back, but not without abuse.  I marked it unresolved.  I just don't find it resolved to my satisfaction simply because I got my credit back.  Having to take abuse is not acceptable, and not resolved, to me.  Sadly, PBS disagrees, and supports the senders right to abuse, and they changed it from within to "resolved". 

Date Posted: 11/29/2009 9:14 AM ET
Member Since: 8/25/2007
Posts: 13,134
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Sorry Julie but I agree with PBS that the transaction itself was resolved when your credit was returned, therefore you should have to mark it as such. It's not about your personal satisfaction with the attitude of the sending member, only the book for credit transaction.  Anything else should be sent to TPTB to handle. 

Date Posted: 11/29/2009 9:44 AM ET
Member Since: 5/29/2007
Posts: 13,347
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Last Edited on: 2/11/15 8:00 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 11/29/2009 10:24 AM ET
Member Since: 2/24/2009
Posts: 160
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Maybe there should be 2 resolved buttons.  One that simply says resolved and one that says resolved without satisfaction.  LOL

Date Posted: 11/29/2009 11:05 AM ET
Member Since: 8/9/2007
Posts: 4,058
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Getting a timeout on the forums is a little bit different because it's relatively public.  Someone does something outrageous and it's pretty obvious when PBS edits a forum post & fairly simple for all interested parties to look at an account from there & see if it has been suspended.  Abuse & harassment in PMs is something else, because whatever the PBS team does, they do it privately & don't feel the need to inform the person who made the complaint of what the outcome was.  Maybe they'll suspend an account & maybe they won't, but I don't see any problem with that information being kept private, since the site does belong to PBS and I kind of expect them to use their own discretion when it comes to enforcing their rules.  I've seen many a post by someone saying that an account did get suspended following a complaint being filed, so I know that it does happen. However, the rules & procedures don't exist to make people feel vindicated & if PBS thinks someone is breaking their rules, they'll handle the matter as they see fit. 

Date Posted: 11/29/2009 11:06 AM ET
Member Since: 3/1/2009
Posts: 26
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Julie the incentive for someone to return a credit is the transaction being marked resolved. If that incentive wasn't there the majority of problem swaps wouldn't be resolved.

Date Posted: 11/29/2009 12:00 PM ET
Member Since: 8/13/2008
Posts: 13,147
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In the forums if someone is rude, they get a timeout.  In a transaction they get nothing.  It's a double set of standards.

That's just not true. I received an unpostable book and the person was name calling, swearing (she was dropping the F bomb left and right) and I reported her to the team and her account was suspended. I don't think there is a double standard.