I really liked this book. I read it when I was mad at my husband and didn't want to be nice to him. She does a great job of presenting information that may not be popular opinion, but is incredibly valuable. For some reason it is okay to treat men horribly in our current society. Living in a house full of men I really do see this all the time, one husband, four sons. This book mostly encourages women to stop being such snotty brats and treat their husband with respect. She never encourages women to put up with abusive or bad behavior but in this book she assumes that you have a relatively decent husband and deals with how you, the woman, behave. A definite benefit for any marriage but you have to be able to look at your own flaws since this book will not allow you to whine about his! :)
Dr. Laura argues for a conservative view of marital roles. Whatever you think of that, she offers interesting ideas, helpful tips, and a whack on the head to remind the reader that husbands are people seeking love and appreciation, too.
Laura is not going to try to tell you what your itching ears are longing to hear. She is against man-bashing and the bias against masculinity in our culture. It was good to have some of the reminders in her book, such as that a man should be honored in his own home. I always try to keep that in mind, and was very upset recently when I had to make a choice between honoring my mother and honoring my husband in his home. Men have certain natural instincts, such as to protect their families, that they shouldn't be beaten up about. Also, I think Laura is right that men do need to have sex frequently to feel loved and to relieve stress, so that's a good reminder for us wives to have. It's too easy to get caught up in our day-to-day caring for the children, careers, and other work, and forget our man's needs. They can't help it that they have needs any more than women can help that they have needs. I think this book is a good, realistic, and conservative view of what a woman can do to keep her man happy and *around.* It's typical Laura Schlessinger, so if you like her radio show, you will probably like this book.
Dr. Schlessinger gives us an honest look at ourselves in this book. You can use the common sense approaches and scenarios to improve things in your marriage, friendships, and the workplace. I enjoyed the way she incorprates call transcripts and letters from listeners in between the advice she provides. The book sure makes you take a good look at your own sitations and what YOU can do to improve them. I was very skeptical when I began reading, and now I just finished The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage, which is also a good read.
Is this book for real? Does she even expect people with a lick of sense in the 21st century to adhere to this malarkey? I saw a personal ad that said that the woman he wanted had to be one who was familiar with this book. I was curious so I ordered it. I read it with incredulity! Her credentials have to be storebought! Again, I ask,"Is this fool serious?"
She had a TV show on a few years back but I never watched her (Not a TV person at all) and I'm glad I didn't. This book takes women back to the 1800s. We have worked too hard for our freedom and independence to embrace her ideals. This book had to have been written as a joke. All I can say is that if a man tells you he wants the kind of woman in her book, run the other way!!!!! Don't look back!
A relationship should be equal with both members contributing 100%. This woman negates the relationship state completely. Why don't you just go out and buy yourself a female slave so she can "care for you properly?" You are certainly not looking for a friend, lover, wife??? using her criteria.
I loved this book. The best tip was to STOP man-bashing. Just dont do it and you will look at your husband a whole lot differently. I have been married just a year and my husband and I are into taking preventative measures in our marrige reading this book was one of them. I would suggest this to any young wife because society brainwashes us to be mean to men. We dont have to live like that and this book helped me see that.
Christina S. reviewed The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands on
Helpful Score: 2
As sexist as the title may sound, it's not! This is a great book for wives wanting their marriages to be stronger and happier. With simple tips to help adjust your own thinking to make your husband happier which leads him to give you more of what you want. As a stay-at-home mom, I felt overwhelmed and under appreciated before reading this. Now, I get more attention and appreciation from my husband for myself and my children. I've recommended this to all my family and friends - from those ready to throw in the towel on marriage to those with happy marriages and every wife has gotten something she can use from reading this book!
I got so much out of this book. It was eye-opening, insightful and an easy read. Some may find her observations out-of-date and even sexist but I think she's right on. I learned a lot about myself, too.
Stacie M. reviewed The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands on
Helpful Score: 1
I love this book. My husband and I have an excellent relationship, but there are many things I could improve to be a better wife for him. This is a book I will hold on to and probably reread annually :)
A quick read. Pros include conveying the obvious of following the Golden Rule, treat those you love as if you actually love them, and personal responsibility. The cons include how the book is organized - it almost feels as if it written train-of-thought. There is little story arch, if that makes any sense in what is basically a self-help book. Another con is that her tone can turn some people off the message.
This book changed so much of my perspective. At first, much of the message was unsettling but only because I was being shown truths about my behavior that I did not want to realize. By the end of this read, I found myself anxious to discover where my marriage would go from there. I appreciate this woman for not coddling the female population or making excuses for our rotten behaviors that are so destructive to the men we love... She has a message that we all should have heard long ago.
Ryan D. reviewed The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands on
From Publishers Weekly
In her newest book, Schlessinger (10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives) relies upon her experience in private practice, radio and letters she received from men and women in tackling the issue of women who mistreat their men and suffer the consequences of unhappiness. The women who criticize their husbands in the stories that Schlessinger relates are depressed in their marriages and feel little love from their husbands. Unabashedly asserting that man is a "very simple creature," who needs only "direct communication, respect, appreciation, food, and good loving'" to respond with devotion, compassion and love, this controversial marriage and family therapist claims that every woman can achieve a deeply satisfying marriage if she adheres to certain fundamentals men require. Preparing dinner, caring for the children without complaint, greeting her husband with a kiss and engaging in sexual intimacy instead of "tearing down a husband's necessary sense of strength and importance" can result in the harmonious marriage women crave. While many of her listeners and readers claim her unequivocal advice has salvaged teetering marriages and improved marital harmony, others perceive Schlessinger as a throwback to what many see as years of female oppression in the home.
Tawna C. reviewed The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands on
I had this book before and never finished it. Someone had mentioned it and how good they thought it was so I received it again and started reading it again. I'm only 1/4 of the way through but it makes sense.
Ah! I can't read this anymore. I cannot stand her negativity toward the subject that she chose to write about. The thing is, I do agree with a lot of what she is saying and I can see the perspective of the men in the scenarios that she presents. What I cannot stand is her snap judgements and her quick decisions on how to fix the problem. I am a licensed Social Worker and if I ever made my opinion from only one side of the story, I would be missing the family story. I am trained to look at all sides of the problem and to work together to create a solution. So far I don't see her talking about the couples working together to solve anything. It may be further in the book but I cannot stand to read any more. I am also reading The Love Dare by Stephen Kendrick and that book is so much more positive. It too presents a challenge for BOTH people in the relationship to work on TOGETHER and it also focuses on putting your partner first. I do not find it depressing or pointing fingers like Dr. Laura does. I will not recommend this book to anyone and I will tell them instead to read The Love Dare.
Sarah L. reviewed The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands on
I loved this book. I gobbled this book up in about 2 days. Now here is the warning, coming from a career woman, the information found in this book was so helpful. Not sure I would have the same opinion if I was in my 20's just starting my career. This is not a how-to book, but rather an eye-opener that is told from the perspective of males. Can't say enough.
Not what I was expecting. This is not Dr Laura reading the book but notes from after teh book. I was disappointed but did get some ideas. Her voice drove me nuts too. Don;t know what it was. but it did!
So she thinks that as a woman, I need to take better care of my husband? What about a book titled "The Proper Care and Feeding of Wives"? Hasn't she ever stopped to think that husbands screw it up, too? Or does that even matter?