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Topic: Question on Buddy lists

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Subject: Question on Buddy lists
Date Posted: 4/13/2009 12:05 AM ET
Member Since: 8/17/2005
Posts: 1,586
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Hi all...So I was looking through some of my buddy's WL books and as I was here when the buddy list first started I have/had a ton of buddys...So I noticed two members have only a buddy credit or pm.......ugh what is that about please? They do not have a  WL or a Bookshelf.....I am not one to pm a lot nor do I hang here a lot so I see no reason to have buddys that just pm and want credits free......um what is going on...and thank you ahead.

Date Posted: 4/13/2009 12:21 AM ET
Member Since: 12/20/2008
Posts: 1,417
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Hi Sandy,

If you go to "My Account" then "Settings" then "Privacy Controls" you have an option to have your bookshelf and WL

  • visible to all
  • visible to only Buddies
  • visible to Full Buddies only
  • visible to no one

It sounds like some of your buddies have chosen not to share their shelf or WL.

Date Posted: 4/13/2009 12:51 AM ET
Member Since: 8/17/2005
Posts: 1,586
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Thank you Melissa,

..I find that so odd how can anyone give them a WL? Or look and order from them... I can see cutting off pm more than not showing a list ....I will just delete the buddies who do this.....Again thank you......I wonder if anyone who does this can shed some light on why?

 

MEGA THANKS ;-)

Date Posted: 4/13/2009 6:57 AM ET
Member Since: 5/27/2006
Posts: 11,985
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..I find that so odd how can anyone give them a WL? Or look and order from them

They may prefer to let the FIFO system work for them and get the book when it's their turn.  They might not want someone to post directly to their WL and skip 50 people who were ahead of them in line or have someone order a book directly from their shelf when they may have been the 98th person to post the book.

Date Posted: 4/13/2009 7:04 AM ET
Member Since: 8/10/2005
Posts: 4,597
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They also may have books posted or wishlisted that they don't want friends and family members who are on PBS to konw about. Stuff that might be considered "sensitive" to some folks. (As an example, would you want your mother, also a PBS member, to know you have a dozen erotica books wishlisted? I personally wouldn't care, but some might!)

Cheryl

Date Posted: 4/13/2009 11:55 AM ET
Member Since: 8/16/2007
Posts: 15,185
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A bunch of people have made their shelves and WL private lately after a couple situations ocurred that scared them about access to their personal information and addresses through PBS.

Date Posted: 4/13/2009 2:48 PM ET
Member Since: 8/23/2007
Posts: 26,510
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Also you can select what info appears to different buddies.  Some people (like me) play a lot of games and their buddy list is really long.  So maybe they limited the info that some buddies get: just a credit and a pm option for the games.  If you don't play those then I don't know what to tell you.  Maybe they liked your shelf and buddied you to come back to it later but since you don't really "know" eachother they kept theirs private.  LIke others said some people keep everything private and just rely on FIFO. 

There's been some trouble in the forums, usually involving very vocal people-where other members have posted WL books to them just to get their address.  It's rare but it has happened. 

My WL is mostly erotica and I could care less if my mother saw it or not.  Not that she's a member, but if she was..., Some people on the other hand are embaressed easily.

Date Posted: 4/13/2009 9:44 PM ET
Member Since: 12/9/2007
Posts: 9,601
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I would be one of the ones who would make my WL private if my mother was a member.  But there also is the member book search that means that if someone can supply your email address and city and state they can see your lists.  Since my mom isn't part of the computer community at all - I feel safe.   It's not that I have just erotica on my lists, but also that I have books that she's given me (she gives everyone in my immediate family a copy).  We don't need 5 copies of each book....no room at all.  So some get posted here.  Telling her not to buy and send them is like trying to mop up the ocean.  She seems to think I'm holding all these things for my kids and the generations to come.  I'm not.  Ain't gonna  happen.   But it is sad that she won't listen to me about it.  I've given up - but I wouldn't like to hurt her feelings, and that's the only thing that would happen if she really heard me about these things.  (sigh).

Ruth



Last Edited on: 4/13/09 9:45 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 4/13/2009 11:35 PM ET
Member Since: 8/17/2005
Posts: 1,586
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Thanks everyone  lots of good points. I am a mystery nut so I seldom get into erotica but never did hide things from my mom when she was alive. I am not even sure why some members befriended me minus we were all wayyy back lol buddying each other left and righ only because it was new.. I now only buddy people who's bookshelf is of intrest to me say by 70% or more...but never deleted old buds ....On the FIFO I usually go by it too and am a firm beliver in it however all I deal in now... (post) ARE wled books so now and then when I buy a new book...I will post it to a bud....thats very very VERY rare..most of my friends have different book intrests than I do....I do not post much , nor play games at all...Though I use to go to the Bizaar a lot and get great deals on books ..now I fear I will lose my deal cause its sooo busy now and much more complicated than it use to be..or some make it that way..you know the lol if I posted it by midnight of 07  3 for 1 pb  etc...I can't deal time wise with that......Again thank you all you all make sense..I am betting at least 1 member cut it down due to fear of that issues on site which I dont know about but we use to have very close intrest and didn't even mean to but ordered from one another often just by chance..she was a keeper but I blew her away when I saw the just pm and give credits.....THANKS :-)

Date Posted: 4/14/2009 6:30 AM ET
Member Since: 2/16/2009
Posts: 63
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Mary L.:  My WL is mostly erotica and I could care less if my mother saw it or not.  Not that she's a member, but if she was..., Some people on the other hand are embaressed easily.

I'm probably more embarrassed by some of the stuff on my bookshelf, which includes examples of chick lit that I've never read.

As for the WL, it's not necessarily that we're worried that our grandmothers will find out that we've requested C Is For Co-Eds. (Not that I have. Of course I haven't, Grandma.) It's more that we see our personal libraries as something private, whether or not it contains potentially embarrassing material. The bookshelf is different because it contains books you want to get rid of. The WL contains books that will become a part of your inner life. Or is that just me?

Maybe I will turn my WL public, if buddies are such an effective resource. I don't really get the Buddy thing, though. A few people have asked to be my Buddy, I've said "Okay" and then I've never heard from them again. I guess they came to their senses.

Date Posted: 4/14/2009 8:37 AM ET
Member Since: 8/10/2005
Posts: 4,597
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Shavian wrote:  I'm probably more embarrassed by some of the stuff on my bookshelf, which includes examples of chick lit that I've never read.

ROFL! That would be me too. I sometimes have really cozy mysteries and chick lit that I pick up at FOL sales (because I know they get chosen fairly quickly) on my shelf that I wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole. LOL I always say, what's on my shelf doesn't necessarily reflect my reading taste.

Regarding privacy: I never do or say anything on the internet--even in supposedly private groups--that I would not want made public at some point. I mostly don't care what others (ANY others, including my boss, my mother, my various family members, or the stalker down the street) think of me, my lifestyle, my opinions, etc. so this really doesn't limit me much. I'm not going to let worries about things cramp my style. I'm going to live my life the way I want to, no apologies, no guilt. Mind you, there are things about me that I don't talk about--but then, I don't talk about them with my best friends either!

Cheryl

Date Posted: 4/15/2009 1:25 AM ET
Member Since: 12/9/2007
Posts: 9,601
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Yeah, picking up those genres at the sales will really throw off the similarity indexes, too!  I didn't do much with the Buddy feature until recently when meeting people here on the forums and noticing some that had similar interests (remember my bookshelf has very little right now that I like - all stuff gotten from other people to post).  The only time I post to anyone's WL is if they have ordered a book and I have others in the series that they might want...then I PM them about the other books.  I love to save postage.  Other wise it's all FIFO all the time.

Ruth

Date Posted: 4/15/2009 1:56 AM ET
Member Since: 8/16/2007
Posts: 15,185
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The WL contains books that will become a part of your inner life. Or is that just me? - This is interesting in that I am exactly the opposite. Except for the poker books on my WL, most of my WL are the ones that I will trade again. If I plan on keeping a book for my personal library, I will usually buy it myself so that I can see it and know its the condition, size and smell I want to keep.

Date Posted: 4/15/2009 7:16 AM ET
Member Since: 2/16/2009
Posts: 63
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Cheryl R. : Regarding privacy: I never do or say anything on the internet--even in supposedly private groups--that I would not want made public at some point.

A wise policy. Of course here at PBS we're in a particularly vulnerable position because we all divulge our real names and personal addresses to each other. According to another thread, some whack job is saving our addresses and mailing us religious brochures. That's the risk we take when we sign up. Most people, fortunately, are not whack jobs.

I guess I'm horribly old-fashioned in still believing that some things are public, others private. To 20-somethings and younger (I'm 30-something), privacy seems to be an alien concept. They broadcast every detail of their personal lives and feel insulted when you don't reciprocrate. And don't get me started on things like Facebook.

Melanie D. : Except for the poker books on my WL, most of my WL are the ones that I will trade again. If I plan on keeping a book for my personal library, I will usually buy it myself so that I can see it and know its the condition, size and smell I want to keep.

That is interesting. I haven't recirculated any of my books yet. I plan on keeping for them awhile, unless I really dislike them. I've never cared much about the condition of my books. As long as all the book's pages are there, it's a keeper.

Date Posted: 4/15/2009 10:21 AM ET
Member Since: 5/10/2005
Posts: 2,350
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They may just have all their privacy options set to private.  PM and Buddy Credits aren't things you can turn off.

So it isn't they picked those to leave on, it's just they can't turn those off, and they become obvious when everything else is hidden.