Discussion Forums - Historical Fiction

Topic: Remember Vicky T.?

Club rule - Please, if you cannot be courteous and respectful, do not post in this forum.
  Unlock Forum posting with Annual Membership.
Subject: Remember Vicky T.?
Date Posted: 6/25/2016 9:51 AM ET
Member Since: 5/19/2007
Posts: 4,709
Back To Top

Sorry, I couldn't resist. wink Well, let me pop in here and say hi to everyone.  I miss chatting about books with you all, and I hope to get back to it soon.  I've been having a hard time concentrating on reading (hard to believe!) but I'm slowly getting back into the swing of things.  I read a fun series by Loren Estleman; his MC is Valentino, and he is a film archivist for UCLA.  If you enjoy old Hollywood, and film trivia, you need to check out this series.  There are only four titles right now: Frames, Alone, Alive!, and Shoot!  They are very good. 

Anyway, it's been four months now since Brianna died.  I have good days and bad days. I miss her very much.  This has just been a crap year to date. 

My news is that I am retiring at the end of August.  My dad isn't doing very well, and my folks could use my help.  I felt that I need the freedom to travel up to Michigan whenever, and for however long I might be needed.  My focus at work isn't what it should be; my head and my heart just aren't in the game any more.  It's time for someone else to take the helm!  But I feel good about it.  It's the right move for me at this point in time. 

For those of you who are retired, tell me all the wonderful things you love about it!!

 

Date Posted: 6/25/2016 12:35 PM ET
Member Since: 8/17/2009
Posts: 929
Back To Top

So good to hear from you, Vicky. This continues to be a life changing year for you. What I love about retirement- more time with friends, books, and exploring new things - for me, Bridge, quilting, cake decorating, and kayaking, to name a few. I am the main caretaker for my 94-year-old mom and it's been so much less stressful to be available when she needs me. Just be forewarned - you think you will have more time than you acually do and so it's easy to overcommit yourself to things at first. All the best on your retirement in August!

Date Posted: 6/25/2016 7:06 PM ET
Member Since: 5/19/2007
Posts: 4,709
Back To Top

Thanks Donna!  I have heard that bit of advice about the amount of time you think you'll have vs. what you actually have.  I do plan on enjoying myself, and reading more.  Yes, it's been quite a year...

Date Posted: 6/27/2016 5:24 PM ET
Member Since: 3/23/2008
Posts: 2,452
Back To Top

Congratulations on your upcoming retirement, Vicky!  It's good to hear from you once more.



Last Edited on: 6/27/16 5:24 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 7/2/2016 11:19 PM ET
Member Since: 5/27/2005
Posts: 2,390
Back To Top

I am only semi-retired and I love it !!!

To be in a position, after a career of "working for the man," to start to call my own shots is amazing! Some days - my 'house mouse' days, I don't ever stick my nose out the front door. Quite frankly, those are the very best! I always get my teeth brushed, but everything else is entirely optional! :)

I think of this time in my life as a gift I have been given and a time to pursue the interests that fulfill me and make my soul happy. I find myself busy all the time but it is always a happy kind of busy!

Congratulations, Vicky, on your retirement, and on finding a way on the other side of your mind-numbing, soul-sucking tragedy.

Kelly

Date Posted: 7/4/2016 9:50 AM ET
Member Since: 5/3/2008
Posts: 10,219
Back To Top

Vicky, I think abut you so often and the grief you've endured this past year. I'm glad that life is moving on for you even though there are days that aren't the best. Believe me, retirement will be a completely new phase of your life. I think it's great that you intend to help your parents out and since you are planning to do that, I would suggest that you not commit to many other things that will take a chunk out of your time. Often when we retire we think we'll have time for everything. Don't put too much on your plate at first.

Personally, I've enjoyed taking part in our Seniors group, volunteering at the church and doing water aerobics. This leaves me time to socialize, go to medical appointments (yuck) and attend other events that interest me. Believe it or not, I really haven't found that much more time to read!!!

It's great to hear from you and I will tell you that the prayers will continue for you, your family and of course, Brianna.

Date Posted: 7/8/2016 9:01 AM ET
Member Since: 5/19/2007
Posts: 4,709
Back To Top

Ladies, such good advice, and such a rosy view of retirement.  I'm grateful for your input and your friendship. 

So my intention was to help my parents move their bedroom downstairs.  I arrived in MI on Monday, June 27 after a 10-hour drive.  It was so good to see them again, but by Tuesday evening, Dad had suddenly become very weak in the legs.  My brother (bless him!) and I had to help him walk from his chair to the bed.  Wed. morning was no better. 

I had asked Mom that first night, "What has to happen for you to say, 'I can't care for him any longer'...what will that be?"  She wasn't sure, but suddenly the next day, it happened.  It became clear that if this had happened while I and/or my brother were not around, he would have fallen.  If this continued, she wouldn't be able to help him move.

So we called an ambulance, took him to the ER, and had him evaluated.  He was confused, but cheerful as always.  He was admitted to the hospital and the next day was transferred to a nursing home that also has a rehab unit.  The plan was 20 days of rehab and evaluation (that's all Mom's insurance would cover) and then a transfer within the same location to the long-term care unit.  It was truly nursing home time, something my Dad always feared and dreaded.

July 4th we got a call that the staff had found Dad unresponsive that morning.  He was taken to the ER again where it was determined that he probably had another stroke...and then a heart attack.  We took him off the ventilator at 5 pm that evening, and he died July 5th at 6 pm, with Mom and I both there holding his hands.

So Dad's funeral is tomorrow.  He turned 80 on July 2.  This is not the week I expected at all, of course.  But there is comfort in knowing that he's not in a nursing home, he's not struggling so to speak or understand things.  He was honestly the best dad--everyone loved him and his wonderful sense of humor.  He made everyone feel better just by being around him.  He was one of the good guys.

 



Last Edited on: 7/8/16 10:12 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 7/8/2016 9:16 AM ET
Member Since: 5/3/2008
Posts: 10,219
Back To Top

Oh Vicky - this time I know exactly what you are going through! My father died at 79 under very similar circimstances. It isn't easy suffering through another loss. Any idea what your mom will do? When my dad died, we brought mom home to live with us. I can't say it was easy but it made my life a little less stressful not having to worry about her so far away from me. Again, my sincerest sympathy on this turn of events for you.

Date Posted: 7/8/2016 10:16 AM ET
Member Since: 5/19/2007
Posts: 4,709
Back To Top

Jeanne, my head is spinning at times!  Mom will most likely stay right here.  She lives in a home that was built in the 1850's and has been in her family ever since.  She loves this place.  Plus my brothers are here, and so are all the grandchildren and great-grandchildren.  I am staying one more week, and I'm hoping to perhaps get her to come home with me for a few weeks.  But we'll see. 

Thanks for your kind words.  Just such a sad year..

Date Posted: 7/8/2016 10:27 AM ET
Member Since: 8/17/2009
Posts: 929
Back To Top

Gosh, this just brought tears. Blessings and my heartfelt sympathy to you and your family, Vicky.

Date Posted: 7/9/2016 12:54 PM ET
Member Since: 3/23/2008
Posts: 2,452
Back To Top

Oh Vicky, all my thoughts and prayers are with you.  My Dad died last fall in a hospital not a nursing home, but all my family was getting ready to have him put into a hospice  home as my Mom could not care for him any longer. 

Date Posted: 7/9/2016 10:54 PM ET
Member Since: 5/27/2005
Posts: 2,390
Back To Top

Ahhh, Vicky. I have no words except to say that my heart is with you and that I am so sorry for this new tragedy that has ravaged your life.

Kelly

 

Date Posted: 7/10/2016 3:21 PM ET
Member Since: 5/31/2009
Posts: 2,867
Back To Top

Oh, Vicky, my heart bleeds for you and your Mom.  Life gives us such tragedies sometimes.   It's so hard to lose a love one.  I will keep sending positive thoughts your way.