Blunt, effective, and written with humor and compassion, THE RULES is the ultimate guide to marrying the man of your dreams. It reveals a simple code of behavior that, when followed, makes women irrestible to desirable men. Its rules are tough, but truthful. They go against many of today's dating conventions.
This book gives great info that used to be taught to women years ago. Not to manipulate, but to save the woman's reputation and feelings if the man is just a player. The Rules works for finding someone with the right intentions. And helps to teach how to move on if the intentions aren't right.
Didn't look like my kind of book from the get-go but it's been sitting on my desk as a TBR for at least a year so I figured I should at least flip through it.
So I randomly open up to a random page and this is the first thing I read:
"Don't get sloppy about your looks. Continue to exercise. Men don't leave women who put on twenty pounds after the wedding or the first baby, but if you want your fiance or husband to keep drooling over you, keep fit."
Excuse me!?! Am I reading an issue of Cosmo from 1955? Do women really take these "time-tested secrets for capturing the heart of Mr. Right" seriously? Wow.
But I can't 1-star a book based on just that. So I've opened up to more random pages.
"Even men who are in love with you and want to marry you will occaisonally say things to irk you or make you nervous, such as, 'I'll take you there if we're still seeing each other next year...you know how relationships go.' Don't get paranoid, just ignore him. Most girls would make a big fuss about it and get mad. Rules girls stay calm when men tease them."
Shut. the. hell. up. I can't take much more of this.
Now that you know what not to do, what should you do to attract your man on campus?
Eat sensibly.Remember overweight is not The Rules..
Wear makeup. Read Glamour and other popular fashion magazines..
Dont sit in your room alone on Friday and Saturday nights reading Jean-Paul Sartre. Friday and Saturday nights are for mingling. You can read Sartre on Monday..
WTF. This is now making me sick to my stomach. Are you seriously telling me if I read Glamour and other fashion magazines, Ill get a man? Are you KIDDING me!?! Wait. Perhaps they are kidding me. Is this a Satire? Is this book tagged humor?
Sorry to say, no it isnt. It says right here on the books spine Advice/Relationships. *sigh*
What I find most offensive about the above excerpt is the implication that The Rules dont even apply to plus sized ladies. God forbid a fat woman needs advice on how to find a man. She better wear extra makeup and carry around a Chick-Lit book in her back pocket. Cause you know, reading Sartre would kill her chances even more. *rolls eyes*
OK. One more quote and then this book goes in the freebie pile at work.
Act confident even if you dont feel it. Notice what kinds of clothes, shoes, bags, jewelry, and hairstyles the most popular kids in high school are wearing. Dont try to be too different of frugal in this area. Youll feel lousy, so its not worth it. To see whats hot and not, subscribe to Seventeen and Glamour. Dont let your mind tell you that this is superficial and beneath you. (Save your mind for final exams and the SATs.) Dont you like boys who wear Polo shirts and cowboy boots when thats in fashion? Well, they like girls who wear whats on MTV and in Seventeen.
Oh. No. It. Didnt. Go. There. Yes, girls, dont think! Your only concern is to be just like everyone else! Wear makeup! Spend all your money on clothes! Read garbage! Focus all your energy on finding a man!
Heres my advice, for what its worth: Act like yourself. Make your own decisions about who you are and what kind of man you want. And if he doesnt like you because you arent a superficial sheep, that is his problem.
In my experience, the second I stopped trying so hard to find someone is when I finally found Mr. Right. Who loves me for the woman I am. And I followed only my own rules. And so should you, sister!
If memory serves me right, the authors wrote this book as a bit of a joke, but I actually think that they were right on in many areas, despite the over the top feel on a few points. If nothing else, this book is a fun read. I remember enjoying it a lot when it came out!!
Okay...not sure I believe any of this bullshit...but I do know someone who follows this religiously and believes in it and it seems to be working for her. I just can't be myself or act a different way to " catch a husband". Not for me and this book seems outdated for the times. This is 2011 by the way so this book is way behind the times. I had to shake my head at most of the advice in this book. My advice is not to waste your time on this one.
I really enjoyed this book. I plan on using most of the rules is talks about when I hit the "Single" status again. In the past I didn't use the rules and "flew by the seat of my pants" and that worked for a little while. I think it's time to move on though. There are no rules listed in here that are asking too much. Basically it all ensures that the man you are seeking is really interested in you. If you constantly pester someone, then they are likely going to "act" interested in you but only for a certain amount of time. Soon, they will tire of the whole charade. This books forces you to sit back and relax while your man persues you like he is supposed to. It's not about playing games and being a jealous psycho like some women tend to become. I think it's a must read for women everywhere.
I'd heard about this book while rereading a fiction book, Jemima J (yes, the characters discuss this book) and had randomly heard it mentioned here and there in women's magazines. My interest was piqued. The reviews on Amazon were so divisive. People were either is a rabid, foaming at the mouth rage, or they were in love with it. I figured either it would have some nugget of wisdom or would be completely hilarious. Win-win. Add a third "win" because I got it off of Paperbackswap.com so it was free!
So what about these "Rules?" Generally, they're pretty sound advice. There's also a lot of game-playing, that would be stressful to remember. I get the concept behind "no weekend dates scheduled after Wednesday" but they don't allow wiggle room for last-minute scores or surprises.
I'm not big on non-face to face communication, but I feel that the rule about not spending more than 30 minutes on the phone is a little silly, especially because women aren't allowed to initiate any phone calls or any other form of communication, ever, period, the end. If you get into a car accident, I'd surmise that a "rules girl" couldn't call the person she's dating to say she's going to the hospital unless she get a phone call from him first. Okay, I kid but still, some of the rules are just silly. I'm concerned that if these rules were followed to a T, the woman would come across as vapid and evasive.
I'm not an advocate for "hiding" your smarts or wearing white hosiery. I'm also not a fan of needy guys, which is what I feel would be attracted to a "rules girl." Sending flowers because you smiled or spent 5 minutes chatting after dinner rather than demanding to be taken home immediately or some other inane reason seems over the top to me, yet it's seen as a positive here. I also don't think it's necessarily a good thing that a guy that would be attracted to a "rules girl" would propose after a few short months, "so he could finally spend more than 2 hours with her" (some testimonial that was on the site I believe.) In general, many of the "rules" are sound but take the entire book with a grain of salt. But what do I know, I'm not a man and I don't know what pushes their buttons?
This book is excellent and so many woman and teens can learn from it. It really helps women develop self respect. There are a lot of women who are "Rules Girls" including Beyonce, Michelle Obama & Oprah, http://www.therulesbook.com/
Ann H. reviewed The Rules : Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right on
It was given to me as a gift by a friend. I'm now engaged to be married and don't need this book anymore! It has some good common sense dating tips that may escape you when in the throngs of love...Enjoy!