Discussion Forums - Questions about PaperBackSwap Questions about PaperBackSwap

Topic: Would you just let this go without saying anything?

Club rule - Please, if you cannot be courteous and respectful, do not post in this forum.
  Unlock Forum posting with Annual Membership.
Subject: Would you just let this go without saying anything?
Date Posted: 8/6/2010 1:34 PM ET
Member Since: 5/17/2010
Posts: 220
Back To Top

I am considering sending the following message to a member. I don't want to seem rude though. What do you think?

"The book arrived today in very good condtion.

A thunderstorm came up after the mail ran today. The book would have been ruined if the mailcarrier had put  the package on my deck like she sometimes does. That's why my RC states to wrap in plastic."

The book was not wrapped in plastic. It was in a manilla envelope with just enough tape to secure it. If I have too many packages to fit in the mailbox, the carrier sets them on the deck by my front door.

Here is my RC...

"Only books currently in non-smoking homes please. Please wrap books in plastic before packing, we have quite a bit of rain in the "Sunshine State". Please make sure that books meet PBS standards for postablilty."

So would you say something to the member, or just let it go?

Date Posted: 8/6/2010 1:51 PM ET
Member Since: 2/14/2010
Posts: 44
Back To Top

let it go.

since the book arrived in very good condition. I wouldn't say anything.

if it had arrived damaged because she had not followed your rc, than  I would have rwap.

Date Posted: 8/6/2010 1:57 PM ET
Member Since: 2/2/2007
Posts: 2,667
Back To Top

I would let it go.

Date Posted: 8/6/2010 2:04 PM ET
Member Since: 9/4/2009
Posts: 291
Back To Top

I would let it go, but make a note to yourself somewhere so that you do not accept a swap from this member again.  Rain is really a killer for paperbacks!

Date Posted: 8/6/2010 2:11 PM ET
Member Since: 2/28/2007
Posts: 2,164
Back To Top

I am going to go against the grain here - I think your note is worded well and should be sent.  If you have RCs, people need to follow them.

ETA:  I don't think you should mark RWAP...just send the note in the "have anything you want to say" section.



Last Edited on: 8/6/10 2:12 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 8/6/2010 2:31 PM ET
Member Since: 8/15/2007
Posts: 3,044
Back To Top

I'd probably let it go and give her the benefit of the doubt.

Your RC is 3 requests in one paragraph. It'd be easy to skim one/forget it since it is in the middle of non-smoking and PBS guidelines. Maybe do bullet points or separate the requests so it's not all run together.

I don't get the whole making a list of people to not swap with thing. I highly doubt you'll request from her again anyway.

Date Posted: 8/6/2010 2:49 PM ET
Member Since: 1/17/2009
Posts: 9,662
Back To Top

I would definitely send her your message. (I wouldn't RWAP the book either, since it wasn't damaged).

Now that it is very easy to double check the RCs on a request at any time during the wrapping / mailing process ... there are no more excuses!

Although, I second Amee's comment about reformatting your RC so that it is easier to tell it is 3 requests. Something like:

Hi, These are my requests:
 

  • Only books currently in non-smoking homes please.
  • Please wrap books in plastic before packing, we have quite a bit of rain in the "Sunshine State".
     
  • Please make sure that books meet PBS standards for postablilty.

I appreciate it, Thanks very much!



Last Edited on: 8/6/10 2:51 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 8/6/2010 2:58 PM ET
Member Since: 12/28/2006
Posts: 14,167
Back To Top

Send the message, but very nicely because the book wasn't damaged.  If you haven't logged it in yet, I would note in the 'comments' box that the sender did not comply with your RC.

I'll also agree with Amee, your RC would be clearer if they were seperate points instead of one paragraph.  Like how you kept it brief tho, long RC's put me to sleep and make me want to decline just so I can go take a nap.



Last Edited on: 8/6/10 3:00 PM ET - Total times edited: 2
Date Posted: 8/6/2010 3:48 PM ET
Member Since: 5/17/2010
Posts: 220
Back To Top

Thanks for the input.

Modifications made to RC

Nice note sent.

Date Posted: 8/6/2010 4:44 PM ET
Member Since: 7/31/2007
Posts: 2,690
Back To Top

Ok, a minority voice piping in here...."Please wrap books in plastic before packing,"   This does not in my opinion sound like a Condition (that you will only accept books wrapped in plastic or that they Must be wrapped in plastic), it sounds more like a request but, not something that is a deal breaker.

Example:  "Due to frequent rain storms books must be wrapped in plastic before packing. Thank you!!"

Date Posted: 8/6/2010 5:48 PM ET
Member Since: 6/8/2007
Posts: 796
Back To Top

I thought the same as Christy! 

"Please wrap books in plastic before packing," 

To me, this sounds less like a "condition" and more like a "preference."

Date Posted: 8/6/2010 6:18 PM ET
Member Since: 4/16/2008
Posts: 770
Back To Top

Please is like saying "you can if you want to" to some people.  (I know...when I say Please I expect it to be done...I hear ya.)

yes"Due to frequent rain storms books must be wrapped in plastic before packing. Thank you!!"  (I like it!)

Date Posted: 8/6/2010 6:30 PM ET
Member Since: 11/5/2009
Posts: 1,083
Back To Top

I would mark it received with a problem.  If we don't do something to hold people to the RC's, then why bother even being here.  Rules are rules and just because you broke the rule and got away with it doesn't mean that you should not suffer the consequences for your actions.

And to all who said that because she said "please" before her request it wasn't really a request....phooey.  It is called " Requestor Conditions".  If it's there, it's a condition, period.



Last Edited on: 8/6/10 6:34 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 8/6/2010 6:35 PM ET
Member Since: 8/25/2009
Posts: 690
Back To Top

Looking at it from a different point of view (Postmaster), I would ask the carrier to stop leaving my packages where they are exposed to the weather.

Date Posted: 8/6/2010 7:49 PM ET
Member Since: 8/25/2007
Posts: 13,134
Back To Top

What Diane said. 

Date Posted: 8/6/2010 9:06 PM ET
Member Since: 2/5/2007
Posts: 30,797
Back To Top

How is it RWAP if the book was not damanged in anyway?  

Date Posted: 8/6/2010 9:19 PM ET
Member Since: 8/16/2007
Posts: 15,185
Back To Top

I don't think the Team would support your theory Kate. As long as a vilation doesn't stop the correct book from getting to her undamaged there really isn't a reason to mark it RWAP. If you require plastic to protect the book, but the book didn't need protecting where is the problem?? It would sound like an immature stomping of the foot --but they didn't listen to me so I am going to report them!! --act and the Team will usually look at the equity of the transaction instead of the window dressings and see that the requester got the book they requested undamaged.

I really hope people are not ignoring RCs that say please. If you get hit with a RWAP and try saying that you knowing violated it because "please" made it not a requirement, the Team will probably step in to help the receiver get their credit back. Being polite does not negate the requirement of meeting an RC or denying the request.

It looks like you were polite in your reminder to the member Melinda.

Date Posted: 8/6/2010 11:34 PM ET
Member Since: 7/31/2009
Posts: 3
Back To Top

I agree with Diane.  The letter carrier should not leave parcels where they can get damaged.  I am a letter carrier and spouse is a letter carrier...

Date Posted: 8/7/2010 12:44 AM ET
Member Since: 5/16/2009
Posts: 7,670
Back To Top

Wow, Kate... that's not an RWAP... it is entirely possible that the sender wrapped in a hurry & forgot if she had several to do... might not have been quite the "dastardly deed" you're making it out to be...

I also have an RC that says "please be sure to wrap all books in plastic before shipping due to our very heavy rains in south FL".   I wouldn't mark that book as RWAP unless it had gotten wet, then it would have violated my RC's, since it wasn't plastic wrapped.  I've gotten a few that were not wrapped in plastic as requested, and if they arrive undamaged, I just mark them as received & send a note thanking the member & add a gentle reminder about the plastic due to our weather conditions.  (But I let them know that luckily it arrived ok.) 

Date Posted: 8/7/2010 1:39 AM ET
Member Since: 5/17/2010
Posts: 220
Back To Top

I never considered marking it RWAP. I wouldn't do that unless the book was damaged. I don't believe the member deliberately ignored my request I think she just overlooked that part of my RC or read it and later forgot.

I just wanted some input on whether or not to send her a message. I read everyone's advice and decided to send the one below.

"The book arrived in great shape and I really do appreciate that.

However it started raining, actually pouring, after the mail ran today.
The book would have been ruined if the mailcarrier had put the package on my deck like she sometimes does. That's why my RC requests to wrap in plastic."


I also made some modifications to my RC.  I considered removing the "pleases" but decided to leave them.  If I were to ask you to "please pass the salt" would you refuse because my adding please made it optional? It just seems more polite to me to add the please in there. 

I rarely see my mail carrier to tell her anything, but I think I will ask the ladies at the PO to pass a message along to her asking her to not leave packages on my deck. Rain is not the only hazard around here. I have 8 cats outside and they have been known to spray objects left on the deck. We are located on a major highway and people dump their unwanted animals out here pretty regularly.



Last Edited on: 8/7/10 1:40 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 8/7/2010 10:56 AM ET
Member Since: 1/12/2009
Posts: 4,412
Back To Top

"I really hope people are not ignoring RCs that say please. If you get hit with a RWAP and try saying that you knowing violated it because "please" made it not a requirement, the Team will probably step in to help the receiver get their credit back."  Couldn't agree more!

"Being polite does not negate the requirement of meeting an RC or denying the request."  yes I think it's dissecting the semantics of an RC's language with a scalpel to say that "please" implies a option not to comply!  Really?!  I think using the words *must* & *must not* (as suggested by several posters) sounds demanding, rude & off-putting and I always respond much more positively to a polite RC.

"I would mark it received with a problem.  If we don't do something to hold people to the RC's, then why bother even being here.  Rules are rules and just because you broke the rule and got away with it doesn't mean that you should not suffer the consequences for your actions."  Well, I really disagree with this.  An RC is not an opportunity to teach anyone a lesson or a test for swapping rules compliance; it's a request for additional conditions to ensure that you receive a book in the condition you require/need.  OP received her book in fine, postable condition, which was the purpose of her RC.  You think it's okay to receive the correct book & it's postable, but mark received with a problem anyway?  To teach a lesson?  no

Date Posted: 8/7/2010 9:41 PM ET
Member Since: 8/26/2006
Posts: 9,321
Back To Top

Nice message, Melinda.  I agree that a message was the way to go.  (The book that was received didn't have a problem, fortunately.) 

And I think it's fascinating, the different takes on "Please."  I wonder if it could be tracked by region or generation.  I would always preface a "demand" with the word "please" myself, even in the classroom, and maybe it's the look in my eyes, but it was never optional.  But I love watching language mutate, and tracking nuances, and I'll be keeping my eye ear on this one.

Really enjoy seeing a completely different point of view that has its own consistant logic.  Karen put it well:

Please is like saying "you can if you want to" to some people.

The other take on "please" makes perfect sense, when you look at it that way, it's just not my own (limited) personal experience.  Glad there's room here for all of us! heart

Date Posted: 8/7/2010 11:14 PM ET
Member Since: 3/3/2009
Posts: 93
Back To Top

"Please" doesn't sound particularly ambiguous to me.  I'm always surprised, however, when I see people use "should" in their RCs.  For example, "books should be wrapped in plastic" reads to me like an optional suggestion, not a requirement.

Date Posted: 8/7/2010 11:45 PM ET
Member Since: 2/5/2007
Posts: 30,797
Back To Top

I would prefer is the one that sounds most optional to me.

Date Posted: 8/10/2010 9:46 PM ET
Member Since: 7/11/2007
Posts: 5,224
Back To Top

I'd call it RWAP simply because the RC wasn't met & that IS a problem. However, marking RWAP does not mean you are required to request your credit be refunded, which isn't necessary in this case because the book was not damaged. By marking it RWAP the site has a record of this person not following RC's in case it becomes an ongoing problem. Site rules & RC's are put in place for a reason & they should be expected to be followed AT ALL TIMES, not just when one chooses to. So yes, RWAP & politely inform sender of why it was marked as such.

My 2 cents worth...