Book Reviews of Secret Ceremonies: A Mormon Woman's Intimate Diary of Marriage and Beyond

Secret Ceremonies: A Mormon Woman's Intimate Diary of Marriage and Beyond
Secret Ceremonies A Mormon Woman's Intimate Diary of Marriage and Beyond
Author: Deborah Laake
ISBN-13: 9780688093044
ISBN-10: 0688093043
Publication Date: 4/1993
Pages: 240
Rating:
  • Currently 3/5 Stars.
 46

3 stars, based on 46 ratings
Publisher: William Morrow Co
Book Type: Hardcover
Reviews: Amazon | Write a Review

32 Book Reviews submitted by our Members...sorted by voted most helpful

reviewed Secret Ceremonies: A Mormon Woman's Intimate Diary of Marriage and Beyond on
Helpful Score: 9
This is a rare opportunity to see inside the LDS and get not only a description of the ceremonies and practices but the restrictive lives some young women experience. Clearly, the author, as a lapsed Mormon, represents that life differently than a believer would â IF a believer would discuss anything. But the fact that there exists an institution for overwhelmed women in need of hospitalization suggests that Deborah Laake's experience isn't unique.

The transition from starry eyed devotee to troubled soul looking for help within the LDS world to a humiliated divorcee to her eventual steps outside the LDS world make for good reading.
reviewed Secret Ceremonies: A Mormon Woman's Intimate Diary of Marriage and Beyond on
Helpful Score: 8
Very interesting peek at what goes on within the cult-like, patriarchial LDS world. Note: (The author has since passed away (suicide) after her excommunication and subsequent bout with cancer.) A similar, more contemporary memoir is Martha Beck's LEAVING THE SAINTS. Both authors are very brave to expose both the hypocrisy and the secrecy of the Mormon religion.
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Helpful Score: 6
This non-fiction autobiography purports to be an expose of the Mormon religion, but is really just an expose of one woman's unhappy life.

I haven't learned anything I didn't know about Mormonism from this book, but I have learned more details than I really ever needed to know about a stranger's sex life!

The book isn't very well written, either, but it has the same weird appeal as that of a daytime talk show, where you can't really figure out WHY the guests want to reveal these sordid and intimate details of their lives to the general public.

And Laake does pretty much admit that the messes she gets herself into are her own fault... she's just pretty spineless. For example, she marries a guy she doesn't love - but it wasn't an arranged marriage or anything - the guy pursued her, she didn't have the guts to break up with him or tell him no, and she *assumes* that her family would want her to marry him. Of course, the marriage doesn't go well. But it wasn't her church that got her into the mess. After the divorce (which her family supports her through), yes, church elders treat her pretty badly. But you know what? No one's forcing her to go to counseling with male elders who are weirdly obsessed with the details of her sex life. No one's even forcing her to be a Mormon!

In the end, the moral you can take away from the story is that trying to live your life by what you *think* are other people's expectations for you will only make you miserable. Reading Laake's story, I keep wanting to say "Stick up for yourself!" and "Get over it!"
But, I read on salon.com that a while after this book became a bestseller, she committed suicide. While I disagree with many aspects of Mormonism (and of pretty much all religions - I'm an equal-opportunity atheist!), I don't think the religion she was brought up in was really responsible for her unhappiness in life. After all, plenty of people leave a religion without letting it ruin their life! The problem was her personal inability to decide what *she* wanted from life, and to go out and find it.
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Helpful Score: 5
A brutally honest insider's look at modern Mormon society. It describes the mystery of the rituals, and the traditons of one of the world's fastest growing Christian Churches.
reviewed Secret Ceremonies: A Mormon Woman's Intimate Diary of Marriage and Beyond on
Helpful Score: 4
Very interesting look into a Morman marriage. I learned a bit reading it. Worth a read if you want a "peek" inside the secret lives of a Morman woman.
reviewed Secret Ceremonies: A Mormon Woman's Intimate Diary of Marriage and Beyond on
Helpful Score: 3
An interesting, revealing book about the Mormon rituals of marriage.
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Helpful Score: 2
This is a Mormon Woman's diary of the secret ceremonies she went through and her struggle to adhere to the religion and then to overcome her guilt feelings.
reviewed Secret Ceremonies: A Mormon Woman's Intimate Diary of Marriage and Beyond on
Helpful Score: 1
I found this book interesting - but that's it. It reveals some of the thinking of Mormonism which I hadn't known before. But not worth the negatives of having to read through her very personal private issues to learn of the Mormon Secrets. I don't recommend this book. I'm sure there are others out there that would give you the same information without having to wade through her intimate details.
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Helpful Score: 1
A very depressed, confused, woman navigates through her life as a Mormon. She confuses religious dogma with her sexuality. She also tends to place blame on outside influences that affect her life. I think her perception of Mormon life (and her sexual frustration) is skewed by her untreated depression. She jumps quickly into relationships followed by marriages and then is confused as to why they all fail. Although she portrays herself as a victim she is a survivor who uses people and situations to benefit her needs at the moment. No amount of words or explaining can alter that fact.
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Helpful Score: 1
Interesting!
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Helpful Score: 1
I thought this book was excellent. I read it over the weekend even though it was 350+ pages. Such an interesting read about a religion I know little about. I had no idea about the secret rituals mentioned in the book and other faith principals.
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An eye-opening account of what goes on inside the Mormon Temple. Deborah Laake writes with real candor.....how many women could bring themselves to discuss masturbation with their fathers, let alone write a book in which the praises of self-gratification are loudly sung? (I loved her father's respnse, by the way. Talk about your cool dads!)

Although I think it's sad that the author eventually lost a faith that she once cherished, I did enjoy the book.
reviewed Secret Ceremonies: A Mormon Woman's Intimate Diary of Marriage and Beyond on
Deborah Laake's personal experiences having grown up within the Mormon church.

Deborah is able to retell her own story with humor and able regardless of the mormon communities shaming her to give her own life some dignity. This is a tragic story for the most part, and even more so after the book ended.

This is a fantastic read for anyone who wants to understand how mormonism can and has played a role in the lives of too many young women.

It's a fantastic and entertaining read regardless of one's religious curiosity.
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The Mormons have always been interesting to me. Not great literature, but a peek into another way of life.
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great descriptions of LDS life for a young girl, wedding and such
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Chilling tale of Mormon ceremonies & beyond
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Eye opening drama that tells the true story of a mormon woman and their ways, including how marriage is handled in this tight lipped community. Very good.
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I really enjoyed the beginning of this book. It talks about some of the secret ceremonies (hence the title) and practices of the Mormon church. It was particularly interesting to me since I live about 1/4 of a mile from the Mormon church in Mesa which is where some of the book takes place. It demystifies some of the rituals.
However, about halfway through the book the author starts talking about her psychological problems and that's primarily what the rest of the book is about. She lost me about 1/2 to 3/4 of the way through the book. I would rather have heard more about the practices of the Mormon church then her visits to the psych wards.
A fairly engaging read.
reviewed Secret Ceremonies: A Mormon Woman's Intimate Diary of Marriage and Beyond on
Fascinating and depressing at the same time. It's very sad to think that this poor woman committed suicide a few years after this book was published. It's not an uplifting book, but it's interesting and I recommend it.
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This is a true story of a Mormon woman's intimate diary of marriage and beyond. Faascinating reading!
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I thought this book was pretty interesting. I had read Leaving the Saints book first. This book fills in the detail that book leaves out. Gives some pretty weird info on what goes on in the Mormon church. Book is basically about one woman's spiritual journey though.
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A great book for those interested in looking at the inner workings or other religions. Highly recommended.
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Great read and very interesting!!! I got and read this book with 24 hours... quick reading and enlightening about the Mormon ways.
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This book is full of half truths and outright lies about the Mormon church. I urge everyone who reads it to get the whole truth by contacting a member of the Mormon church or speaking with the missionaries representing the church. This woman clearly was not mature enough to handle a temple marriage (probably not any marriage) and conveniently blames the church when things don't go her way.
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Good book!
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This book satisfied my curiosity of what a modern day Mormom woman's live would be like.
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A fascinating insider's look at modern Mormonism
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This was a very disappointing book. It seems to me to be the ramblings of a dysfunctional woman. It does not live up to its hype of exposing the inner workings of the Mormon Church, at least not my expectations. It could be because the book is over 10 years old and so much more information is available these days, but overall,,,,the book was deadly dull. I forced myself to read it because I kept waiting for the good parts other people were praising.
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Very interesting book about the secret ceremonies for a woman in the Moorman church.
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Very interesting and quick read.
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Very informative.
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I was hoping there would be more information about the inside workings of the Mormon church. After the wedding ceremony and the first divorce, that was pretty much it. The rest of the book went on about the author's struggle coping with her mental state. I didn't find that part bad, it wasn't what I was looking for when I picked up the book. I am sad to hear that she took her own life a few years after the book was published due to her depression after her fight with cancer. The epilogue shifted her attention back to the LDS church which I found interesting.