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Topic: Seeking Suggestions

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Subject: Seeking Suggestions
Date Posted: 5/23/2012 2:40 AM ET
Member Since: 6/15/2006
Posts: 1
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Hi, I have a question for the members and I apologize if anyone finds this offensive...

My daughter recently came out as bisexual, and we live in a fairly conservative area (read: the Midwest) so I don't have a lot of experience with the ettiquette of certain situations (such as asking her if it would be okay if I attended the gay pride parade). Basically, the problem is that I want to be supportive without being annoying or embarrassing. Could anyone recommend a book with good advice/helpful hints for a well-intended but slightly oblivious mom? 

Thanks for your help.

Date Posted: 5/23/2012 8:08 PM ET
Member Since: 7/19/2008
Posts: 15,384
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I highly recommend PFLAG for parents.   I think they have free brochures rather than books.  At the SF parade the PFLAG group always gets huge cheers as so many folks lose their families in the coming out process. 

Yes, you might embarrass your kid.  But other folks will be so jealous.

Date Posted: 5/30/2012 11:45 AM ET
Member Since: 10/21/2010
Posts: 758
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Yes, you might embarrass your kid.  But other folks will be so jealous.

yes to any PFLAG suggestion. I don't have any personal experience with them, but I know they're an excellent resource for a lot of people. I would've been out of my mind embarrased if my mom had shown up to a pride event when I was first coming out, but it didn't take much to embarass me at that age. At the end of the day, I think it would have just made me feel really, really loved and supported in a way that LGBT youth often aren't.

Barb S. (okbye) - ,
Date Posted: 5/30/2012 2:23 PM ET
Member Since: 3/14/2011
Posts: 5,767
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I would've been out of my mind embarrased if my mom had shown up to a pride event when I was first coming out, but it didn't take much to embarass me at that age.

You didn't say how old she was but I was going to say you're probably going to embarrass your daughter in many ways along the line anyway, in the long run doing so by being supportive will be appreciated longer than it will be embarrassing, even if it isn't appreciated right away. One day she will look back and be glad you were there. I would talk to her though for the best input. No group can tell you what she herself feels.