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Topic: I'm starting a Forest Cult! Wanna join?

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Subject: I'm starting a Forest Cult! Wanna join?
Date Posted: 10/8/2009 11:04 AM ET
Member Since: 6/20/2009
Posts: 169
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We're called The Cupcake Cult. We'll live in the pines of south-eastern Oregon

First of all: no one has to kill themselves or anyone else. This cult is about fun! YAAAAY

We do all have to have sex with each other. That must happen.

There will be daily ritualistic sponge baths in a river somewhere.

We eat nothing but cupcakes(but it's actually pine cones and mud)

I'm God by the way....hello

Date Posted: 10/11/2009 11:24 PM ET
Member Since: 6/19/2008
Posts: 1,976
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OMG

Date Posted: 10/12/2009 11:23 PM ET
Member Since: 9/29/2009
Posts: 2,551
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I'm sorry that I can't join your cupcake cult but the Flying Spaghetti Monster demands my obedience and servitude.

 

http://www.venganza.org/

Date Posted: 10/19/2009 6:27 PM ET
Member Since: 8/10/2005
Posts: 4,601
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Heretic!!....we all know that Spuddism is the One True Way! Let us retire to a potato farm in Idaho! We'll feast on pommes de terre!

Cheryl, Spud Goddess

Date Posted: 10/20/2009 11:11 AM ET
Member Since: 6/20/2009
Posts: 169
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Blasphemer!....How dare you besmudge the sweet sugary goodness of the Cupcake Cult! Have you no soul young madam?

Tonight, while I lie in wait on the stone alter under the gray lorn sky, I will be sure to curse your feeble Spuddism into non-existence.

One can only hope a single night of curses will rid the Earth of this most repugnent sect of potato-eating vermin. Good day to to mam.

Date Posted: 10/20/2009 1:45 PM ET
Member Since: 10/17/2006
Posts: 1,427
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Good grief, as Charlie Brown says--------all I was looking for was a religion where I didn't have to be "good" my whole life long so's I could have PIE in the SKY when I DIE.  I've always wanted my PIE HERE and NOW!   Good wishes to all you cultists, though.

Date Posted: 10/21/2009 2:51 AM ET
Member Since: 6/20/2009
Posts: 169
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This "pie" you speak of Bonnie, is not allowed in The Cup Cake Cult*. You can have Cup Cakes here and now though. My punishment is not harsh by the way: you would have to be tied to the Tree of Correctness and covered in various forms of cake-icing. My pet goat "Gregory Mitchell" would then proceed to lick the icing off of your trembling flesh under the light of the harvest moon, while the rest of the members chant ancient songs of ridicule until I feel that punishment has been duly rewarded. You would then be released and made to bath in the river. Not so bad is it Bonnie. I am God, lest you forget!

 

 

*Nothing of The Cup Cake Cult is real, only a joke. I believe all religion is made to control people with fear. I'm mocking cults, not actually starting one(duh)

Date Posted: 10/23/2009 6:55 PM ET
Member Since: 10/17/2006
Posts: 1,427
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I see you've given your 'cult' quite some thought, Jesse. .....er.....uh.... God, I mean.   Oops, sorry, must run, I have a pie ready to come out of the oven.  Ta-ta!