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Topic: Stone Butches

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Subject: Stone Butches
Date Posted: 11/9/2008 8:46 AM ET
Member Since: 9/26/2008
Posts: 109
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i was just curious as to how many stone butches there are floating around here... i wonder because there are so many that have Stone Butch Blues on their wish list... not that they are all stone ...

so if you are stone... or a stone lover, drop me a line *s*

if you are uncomfortable posting here, feel free to PM me.

i am a stone butch. and sometimes it is nice knowing you aren't the only one.

Date Posted: 11/9/2008 1:20 PM ET
Member Since: 9/14/2007
Posts: 226
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I'm a stone lover for sure. And Stone Butch Blues is my favorite book in the entire world.
Date Posted: 11/9/2008 4:11 PM ET
Member Since: 9/26/2008
Posts: 109
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do you ever find us... hard to be with?

i guess i just wonder what it is like from the other side of the fence.

Date Posted: 11/9/2008 9:16 PM ET
Member Since: 7/23/2007
Posts: 1,453
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I was with a stone butch for about 6 months many moons ago. She was VERY hard to love but I think that was because of her maturity (or the lack of) and not because she was butch. . .

Date Posted: 11/10/2008 12:25 PM ET
Member Since: 1/27/2007
Posts: 426
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I'm not. 

The reason that I own Stone Butch Blues is because I was told it was the ultimate representation of the ftm experience that apparently ever was. 

I got it.  I read it.  It was nothing like my experience as a ftm individual, so I shelved it. 

I know a lot of individuals, mostly cisgender individuals, who purchase it for what it is supposed to mean for the transgender community.  Not everyone is going to be stone butch.

Date Posted: 11/10/2008 12:51 PM ET
Member Since: 9/14/2007
Posts: 226
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It wasn't hard to love her, but hard to be in love, if that makes sense. I loved in the way that I gave everything I could, but she wasn't able to give in the ways I could. I guess I just needed more emotion and no walls ya know? But that's just how I am. I need constand energy and happiness and reassurance.

Date Posted: 11/10/2008 1:19 PM ET
Member Since: 9/26/2008
Posts: 109
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it is more of a representation of what it would be for ftm... before this day and age. i doubt anyone in their 20s, even 30s can truly know what hell a stone..or a transgender or transsexual went through during that time. in that, i would say it is a very accurate depiction.

even at my young age...36, i have had issues being beat up..snubbed, judged...etc.. though not by police..mainly by the opposite sex though. so i can imagine how it wouldve been if i had been born in the 50s, and 60s.

and well.. sexually speakin, i think hy was stone... but emotionally hy was a child.

i think it is hard for my Lady sometimes though..at least i think it is..that She can't reciprocate what i do for Her..

T. -
Date Posted: 11/12/2008 8:05 AM ET
Member Since: 1/21/2007
Posts: 9,989
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I'm not a SB, but I am attracted to them.  I had one short term relationship--but the emotional coldness and lack of affection wore thin on me.  Since then I've played a more dominant role and have only been with femmes, but I miss the essence of a SB.  I still have my fantasies, tho.....

Date Posted: 11/12/2008 8:53 AM ET
Member Since: 1/11/2006
Posts: 7,581
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I am definitely attracted to them, and have been with someone that I would call a stone butch in the past.  I *still* think about her sometimes ;-)  My wife is definitely butchie, but not a stone butch by any means.  If I were to describe her I'd say she's more of a sporty butch.  YUM

Date Posted: 11/12/2008 12:34 PM ET
Member Since: 9/26/2008
Posts: 109
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i guess there are variances of SBs as well. i am not...well ya know..i guess i am. i am affectionate with my girlfriend and my kids... but even with them, i am more reserved with that affection.

since i started this post, i've asked my g/f directly if She has had issues being with me. She told me that once She realized i wasn't actually mad or pissed at Her all the time, She doesn't find it nearly as difficult, but that sometimes She does wish i would "go femme" on Her long enough i guess for Her to reciprocate. She says that Her only real issue isnt about anything in me other than when it comes to my stoneness... which despite what She says or lets people think, She has melted away some of that.

i guess a stone finds it really hard to trust... to show all of ourselves... and not that i havent trusted lovers in the past or other folks... but... well.. J is the one i have trusted the most.. so She also gets the brunt of everything as well as the good things. i think sometimes i frighten even myself with my "coldness" sometimes. She makes me want to try harder to not be that way... not that i cant still be stone... just not so stiff.



Last Edited on: 11/12/08 12:34 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
T. -
Date Posted: 11/19/2008 1:50 AM ET
Member Since: 1/21/2007
Posts: 9,989
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Kristi, sometimes you just have to let yourself be a teddy bear---someone soft to cuddle up to, safe, but comfortable, and I hope you can get to a place where you feel able to do that.  Sometimes we confuse vulnerable with sensitive and emotional--but I've learned that I can be sensitive and show emotion and NOT be vulnerable.  It's a hard place to get to, but it is possible. 

Date Posted: 11/21/2008 8:14 AM ET
Member Since: 9/26/2008
Posts: 109
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well..i am a teddy bear. but one would have to get close to me to know that. my girlfriend of 5 + years has helped me understand that difference..between affection, sensitivity and vulnerability. She lets me be all of those.. even when i try to hide them. She is a very patient woman. and i do not think i couldve created a better match for myself...

outside my home people will not know that i can cry, that i can cuddle my kids, or be gentle with my wife. but i am and do. i guess for folks to see that part...is a priviledge. i do not show it at random.

T.G.... i'm there. still getting better about it... stil have work to do on it, but i am there. thanks for the comment

Date Posted: 11/21/2008 11:47 AM ET
Member Since: 8/14/2008
Posts: 3,574
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I am extremely attracted to what I call 'soft stone butches', women who have a very stone butch personality/looks, but carry off feminine clothes very well with in that - or wear masculine clothes in a way that makes them look feminine. ach, not making any sense! Oh, well :)
Date Posted: 11/22/2008 8:49 AM ET
Member Since: 9/26/2008
Posts: 109
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makes sense.

i dont know how stone i look per se. i am fairly butch and get mistaken for  guy a lot...until they see how short i am..then they kind of wonder..

Date Posted: 12/10/2008 12:27 AM ET
Member Since: 7/21/2006
Posts: 226
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One of the biggest sexual thrills of my life was with a SB ex who I managed to flip (not often, and I would never reveal it "publicly," even though we're long since parted, out of my deep respect for her essence and the SB experience). . . .   I admit I get dreamy thinking about that. . . . . .

Date Posted: 1/3/2009 9:02 AM ET
Member Since: 9/26/2008
Posts: 109
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Jennie, sorry i didnt see this post right after you posted it.

but, i think that is pretty cool of you, to keep it to yourself. i admit for my Lady, i would flip. but it isn't often. and i would only do so because i trust that she is the same as you. there is no way she would 'brag' to her buddies the she flipped a stone. she has that respect for how i am and how i see myself. *s* 

and i think J (my Lady) gets that dreamy look in her eyes when she thinks about it too. lol.