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Just a little giggle to kick off the school year.
Jeff Foxworthy's Take on Teachers
HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TEACHER ?
1. You can hear 25 voices behind you and know
exactly which one belongs to the child out of line.
2. You get a secret thrill out of laminating something.
3. You walk into a store and hear the words "It's Ms/Mr. _________"
and know you have been spotted.
4. You have 25 people that accidentally call you Mom/Dad at one time
5. You can eat a multi-course meal in under twenty-five minutes.
6. You've trained yourself to go to the bathroom at two distinct
times of the day: lunch and prep period .
7. You start saving other people's trash, because most likely, you
can use that toilet paper tube or plastic butter tub for something in
8. You believe the teachers' lounge should be equipped with a
9. You want to slap the next person who says "Must be nice to work 7
to 3 and have summers off."
10. You believe chocolate is a food group.
11. You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside.
12. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone
says "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today."
13. You feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their
behavior when you are out in public.
14. You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
15. You spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
16. You can't pass the school supply aisle without getting at least five items!
17. You ask your friends if the left hand turn he just made was
a "good choice or a bad choice."
18. You find true beauty in a can full of perfectly sharpened pencils.
19. You are secretly addicted to hand sanitizer and finally,
20. You understand instantaneously why a child behaves a certain way
after meeting his or her parents.
Last Edited on: 8/31/07 7:16 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
21. There is a Zoloft mister in your hallway.
22. Your biological children are astounded that not every household has a special storage area for shoe boxes, toilet paper rolls, egg cartons (styrofoam or cardboard), and paper towel rolls.
Last Edited on: 9/1/07 7:32 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
24. You start every conversation with "Ladies and Gentlemen, please take your seats ..." no matter who is in the room.
Well, my high school kids don't respond to that one very much so I have resorted to "Park your gluteus maximus in your chair!!"
Last Edited on: 9/12/07 2:48 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
25. After giving your husband directions to do something, you find your self saying "Now tell me what you're going to do".
26. When one of your family or friends does something well, you say "I like how you...."
27. You find yourself replying to adult conversation with "Did you really?" or "How about that?"
28. When a member of the family says they don't feel well, you first ask them if they've been to the bathroom, then assure them that a drink of water will make them feel much better!