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Topic: Need tips on blocking

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patticom - ,
Subject: Need tips on blocking
Date Posted: 4/14/2008 8:25 AM ET
Member Since: 11/3/2007
Posts: 416
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I had a very bad experience these past couple of days with another club member.  I missed a step on a special book, so it was marked RWP and the credit demanded back.  After checking the guidelines carefully, I saw my error, accepted fault, and refunded the credit (it was a workbook with writing inside--postable by site guidelines, but I missed the step about PM'ing first describing individual condition, oops).  Should have been the end of it, but the member has been insulting and berating me ever since and I need to know how to block all future PM's and dealings with this person.

thanks

Date Posted: 4/14/2008 8:48 AM ET
Member Since: 7/31/2007
Posts: 2,690
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there is no way to block the person BUT, you should contact the PBS Team and let them know...copy/paste the PM's in so they can read them from the first to the last.  This should not be happening...

 

Date Posted: 4/14/2008 10:00 AM ET
Member Since: 5/23/2005
Posts: 5,197
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Good grief!  Just what is wrong with people?  You made it right! 

Date Posted: 4/14/2008 10:09 AM ET
Member Since: 8/1/2007
Posts: 5,034
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Don't let them ruin your day or PBS experience.  Sure, you made a mistake...we all do.  You took steps to make it right and can't do anything further.  She is now in the wrong and behaving poorly.  Try to ignore it and realize the problem is HERS and not yours. 

Date Posted: 4/14/2008 10:09 AM ET
Member Since: 1/8/2007
Posts: 8,139
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The Help Center states that abusive PM's should be reported. I think that you should do so. You have done all you can regarding the transaction, and the person is now harrassing you.

Date Posted: 4/14/2008 10:15 AM ET
Member Since: 6/20/2007
Posts: 4,979
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Just chiming in to say I agree with Jane 100%.  Report the abusive PMs.  You refunded the credit, and there is never any need for nasty PMs.

patticom - ,
Date Posted: 4/14/2008 10:34 AM ET
Member Since: 11/3/2007
Posts: 416
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Thanks, all.  If it continues I will report it, but in the meantime I really prefer to give the person the benefit of the doubt--we all have bad days, and as much as I would rather have NOT shared theirs, I'm not going to sully a reputation based on some petty name-calling in a single transaction. 

Date Posted: 4/14/2008 11:06 AM ET
Member Since: 1/8/2007
Posts: 8,139
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Well, unless this person frequents the boards and seems rational there, there's no way for you to know whether this person does this regularly or not. Just as one RWAP won't hurt you in the long run, the report of an abusive PM won't hurt the other person in the long run, as long as it isn't repeated behavior.

If the message was abusive to you, you should report it. You don't have to ask TPTB to intervene. If it was rude enough to disturb you to the point of asking about blocking the person, IMO it should be reported.

Date Posted: 4/14/2008 11:45 AM ET
Member Since: 1/25/2007
Posts: 6,567
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I have gone through the same thing! It was awful. I am way to sensitive and sometimes even the smallest remark can put me to tears. But this person was awful going to the point of making fun of me being a Christian.

I contacted Paperback Swap about this feeling there was no need for someone to bring religon into the discussion.

They were able to go back and look at each and every message sent between the two of us. They had a record of the dates, times and what was written. This is because it was done through the Paperback Swap site and not private email.

So I wouldn't think you would need to copy and paste each message. Just make sure you keep it in your message box. Contact the team and let them know what is going on. Also admit your fault! You said it yourself that you were wrong and hopefully this was stated in the first emails between the two of you. But I'd also make a point to have it in the message you send to the team.

Honesty is a wonderful thing and even though those of us who are honest don't always win at least we know in our hearts that we were honest.

I am sorry this happened to you. Words can cut like swords and most people don't know how much.

Hugs, Ashley

PS: If you are wondering what happened in my case I mentioned above the PBS team was able to see from the message history that I didn't do anything wrong and the person who was sending the awful messages to me was the one in fault.

 

patticom - ,
Date Posted: 4/14/2008 12:24 PM ET
Member Since: 11/3/2007
Posts: 416
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Hm, well perhaps I should have contacted the site powers.  But there's also the problem that I did not keep all the messages.  ;)  The latest one was a completely new one ranting about posting guidelines and how I broke them... uh, yeah, that would be why I refunded your credit and said I was in the wrong, right?  That one was just so off the wall I had to laugh and hit the delete button immediately.  I could understand if I was rude in the initial message and refused to return the credit, but the ONLY thing I took issue with that the person wrote was the assertion that workbooks with writing in them are completely unpostable.  I pointed out (and even cut and pasted the single line from the help docs) that they ARE in fact postable by site rules.  My mistake was not notifying the person and clarifying about the writing in the book first (something that is also supposed to be done for textbooks and cookbooks, the only 3 types of books that are permitted to have writing inside at all by site rules).  Yes, I admitted right from the start that I had forgotten to do this and apologized about it.  Edited to confirm that I also immediately refunded the credit.

I appreciate you sharing your story and I'm really sorry that you had to go through that, Ashley.  :(  But I don't feel like my experience was quite so bad as all that, and my only goal right now is to avoid any contact with this person in the future.  If it was a bad day, that person can hopefully move on and enjoy the site without further stress, having lost nothing.  I have tried very carefully to avoid any identifying pronouns or specifics for just that reason.  :)  If it is a pattern, I'm sure it will come out sooner or later.  In the meantime, guess it's time to start my list as I read elsewhere others have done (of people they wish to personally avoid on site for whatever reason).



Last Edited on: 4/14/08 12:25 PM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 4/14/2008 2:00 PM ET
Member Since: 1/25/2007
Posts: 6,567
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It may be best to just ignore all of his/her messages. I don't understand why people feel they must drag something on and on. I think I'd respond with something like:

I am sorry you feel this way. I feel the problem has been corrected though and it is getting to the point where I feel attaked in each of your messages. If you still feel you have issues that need resolved I suggest you contact the owners of this site. They will be able to help you by tracking the exchange and our communication. I am sorry this transaction turned out this way. This will be the last message you get from me. If you feel you need further communication with me please contact R&R (the owners of the site). Thank you (sign your name).

Hopefully something like that will end it. Plus the added info about the site owners being able to track messages MAY put a scare into this person.

I'm a huge fan of Joyce Meyer. She is a Christian speaker. Kind of like a female Christian Dr. Phil. lol She has said a number of times "Hurting People Hurt People". So if I ever feel someone has hurt me or something I try to remember they are most likely acting out on their own pain. It doesn't help the hurt feelings I may have but it helps me remember this person isn't just EVIL. lol

 

Date Posted: 4/14/2008 2:24 PM ET
Member Since: 4/25/2007
Posts: 11,496
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I'd still send in a report about the abusive messages.  If they're not still in your inbox, they're probably still in the other member's "messages I've sent" tab.  PBS should look into this.

You made it right by apologizing and refunding the credit.  There is no need for the other person to continue to harass you over a simple mistake.  We all make them.

Date Posted: 4/14/2008 3:34 PM ET
Member Since: 7/31/2007
Posts: 2,690
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That is a thought...have you deleted the messages out of the "messages I've Sent" file?  But, yes I agree with everyone...I'd report it, perhaps you'll save someone else from your experience with this person.

Date Posted: 4/14/2008 6:12 PM ET
Member Since: 7/7/2007
Posts: 4,815
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<<Hm, well perhaps I should have contacted the site powers.  But there's also the problem that I did not keep all the messages.>>

I don't think this matters.  Being the "site powers", they are all knowing and all powerful, at least as far as your PMs go.  Obviously this bothered you a lot, and was not an isolated snippy, poor judgement reply, but a series of them, so please consider reporting this member's actions.  Otherwise, folks continue to mistreat other members until someone tells them to stop.

Cheers,

Catt

Date Posted: 4/14/2008 6:41 PM ET
Member Since: 8/10/2005
Posts: 4,599
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You do not need to copy/paste the messages--as the site owners, they have access to all PMs if they want to look at them.  Just ask them to review your PMs and give the name (or nickname) of the person you had a problem with. They won't tolerate rudeness or harassment and the person will be warned and/or kicked out if they persist.

Cheryl

Date Posted: 4/14/2008 7:52 PM ET
Member Since: 8/27/2007
Posts: 3,326
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PLEASE, PLEASE do report any abusive messages.  I have recently dealt with this myself. Even though I wasn't entirely satisfied with the response from the mgmt, they did note the abusive nature of the other person's messages so there is a record of it. They will be able to tell if this becomes a habit with that particular member.

Please report anything abusive.

Date Posted: 4/14/2008 8:24 PM ET
Member Since: 5/5/2007
Posts: 560
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You should go ahead and report the emails, as any abuse is uncalled for and not to be tolerated.

Also, if you go to your transaction archive, and on the right side of  the book listing,

click on "request details", it will bring up all emails that have gone back and forth.

I have one that I marked RWAP, and when I click on it, it shows all the emails that each of us sent, and even my

requestor conditions.