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Topic: UPdate in 8/14 post / Bit the Bullet! Reporting my first RWAP & feel sick!!

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Subject: UPdate in 8/14 post / Bit the Bullet! Reporting my first RWAP & feel sick!!
Date Posted: 8/13/2009 9:48 PM ET
Member Since: 1/12/2009
Posts: 4,412
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Many of you have impressed upon me through your posts on this board that I have a responsibility to report a RWAP, if I should ever receive one.  Well,  I've let several "go" over the months, justifying it to myself in various ways.  But I have now received one which cannot be explained away.  I followed the advice of the posters on this board, shamelessly plagarized an example given by a poster Elizabeth B. on an appropriate response & wrote:

Thank you for sending [Book] - I've been looking forward to reading it.  Unfortunately, the book has a cleaved spine & some rusty stains on the outer edges.  Per the PBS Condition Guidelines, this makes the book unpostable, as they stipulate, "Binding...Must be intact, with no separation on the inside or outside of the book" & "No stains (exception for cookbooks)."

I know we're all human and accidents happen, so I have no hard feelings & hope you won't either. I would like my credit returned, please, per PBS Gudelines, so I may order a clean copy.  As soon as it is returned I will mark the transaction "Resolved".

Kind regards,

Leslie

I am the absolute Queen of confrontation-avoidance & I have a sick feeling in my stomach. I know marking the book is the right thing to do, but I dread reading her response to this RWAP.  If it's snarky or mean, I'm not responding to it or pursuing it further.

Edited to attribute to Elizabeth B. her amazing & polite letter example



Last Edited on: 8/14/09 11:02 AM ET - Total times edited: 2
Date Posted: 8/13/2009 10:02 PM ET
Member Since: 8/1/2009
Posts: 301
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Leslie -- I feel for you!  I am exactly the same way.  I had to RWAP on my very first PBS book last week and asked three different live help tour guides if I should before I finally did.

The sender was completely gracious and lovely about returning my credit.  I hope, and suspect, that your RWAP will go smoothly as well.

Date Posted: 8/13/2009 10:11 PM ET
Member Since: 1/12/2009
Posts: 4,412
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Oh, Purvi, I think I saw your post!  Keep your fingers crossed that my trader will be just as nice as yours was. Thanks for the kind wishes :)

Date Posted: 8/13/2009 10:38 PM ET
Member Since: 5/14/2009
Posts: 6,852
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Leslie the book I wrapped RWAP (only one- seems I have been extermely lucky) the sender apologized and sent the credit and I didn't even ask for the credit back.  Don't make yourself sick over this but is nice I am not the only one who doesn't want to confront.   Also you don't have to deal any more if she refuses the credit mark it unresolved.  - it won't look good on her record.  You did the right thing!!!

Date Posted: 8/13/2009 10:42 PM ET
Member Since: 3/8/2007
Posts: 2,532
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I just got my 1st RWAP too.  1st out of 314 books!!   It was soooo hard for me to mark it rwap and ask for my credit back.  But my sender was so gracious and appologetic. 

Date Posted: 8/13/2009 10:57 PM ET
Member Since: 7/19/2008
Posts: 15,384
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Most of my RWAP have been post office stuff.  Like the tire tracks that broke a spine.  Cross my fingers.

Date Posted: 8/13/2009 11:17 PM ET
Member Since: 1/17/2009
Posts: 9,664
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I'm glad that you made your RWAP. It's interesting that you feel sick from initiating a RWAP.

I am just the opposite ... I get a sick feeling when I let someone take advantage of me. Confronting them makes me feel better. (Not mean or nasty confronting ... but I stick up for myself politely). I've had to train myself to do it, because I am naturally introverted.

This is an important social issue to me ... and something that I try to train my 12-year-old niece out of, too. "Being too nice". I think in general many girls are raised to look the other way when they are being taken advantage of ... it is what society expects you to do when there is a problem ... and if you don't just overlook it then you are a b**ch.

I'm trying to teach her how to do this, politely and firmly.

Date Posted: 8/13/2009 11:21 PM ET
Member Since: 5/14/2009
Posts: 6,852
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Sara - I agree it is the upbringing.  Thank you for teaching your niece.  I can stand up for myself in in business (but I fight those feelings)  but in my personal life - not so much. 

Date Posted: 8/13/2009 11:34 PM ET
Member Since: 11/14/2006
Posts: 2,552
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Sarak kudos to you for showing your niece how to stick up for herself with being seen as a b***h... she will grow strong and confident.

Date Posted: 8/14/2009 1:05 AM ET
Member Since: 1/12/2009
Posts: 262
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Good for you, Sara!  I was also a pushover most of my life.  Now that I'm older, I am braver.  It has been a conscious decision that I will not be bullied.  Instead, I will stand up for myself assertively.  If someone labels me because of it, so be it....    D.

Date Posted: 8/14/2009 1:42 AM ET
Member Since: 5/29/2007
Posts: 4,650
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Good for you Leslie!  I know, it's not fun but it's so important that folks are held accountable for the quality of the books they are sending out!   I'm keeping my fingers crossed  that you get a member who graciously takes care of it without any fussing..  The majority of members here are very courteous and conscientious about ensuring the quality of the books they are sending out, but sometimes, things get missed!

If you should happen to get a snarky/mean response, feel free to mark it "unresolved" so it's recorded on their account.  Good Luck!

 

Date Posted: 8/14/2009 9:07 AM ET
Member Since: 8/10/2005
Posts: 4,597
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Thank you Leslie for marking that book RWAP. Confrontation isn't easy, but you did it well. Your PM was very politely worded, so if the sender either doesn't respond or is nasty, it is totally nothing to do with you, it's THEIR problem. If they respond that way, go mark the transaction "unresolved" and move on. At least you know that you're doing your part to help PBS keep track of people who don't follow their posting guidelines, which does everyone who trades books here a favor. I for one appreciate it!

Cheryl

Date Posted: 8/14/2009 10:32 AM ET
Member Since: 1/12/2009
Posts: 4,412
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UPDATE!

Three things: 1) She's a newbie who joined the end of July so it seems very likely this was an innocent mistake; and 2) Her account is already on hold, not just her shelf, but her account. I'll probably never get my credit back, but that's ok; and 3) It was a WL book & I was already offered another copy by the system.

Cheryl - You're right, it is the Sender's problem - this will be my new mantra, LOL

Tamara - I agree. Truthfully I yet to have an encounter with a member who wasn't wonderful & a fellow book-lover. I have no complaints about this club, at all, I love it!

Sara - It absolutely was my upbringing.  Like Jubead, I have no problem in business being assertive, but in my personal dealings, not so much.  I've tried to break this cycle-of-nice by encouraging my daughter to be different. She's 26 now and no one takes advantage of her unless she allows it.  It helps that she her father's daughter, ya know what I mean?

I feel better, you guys, thanks for the encouragement.  This is such a great place :)

Date Posted: 8/14/2009 1:13 PM ET
Member Since: 7/7/2007
Posts: 4,815
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Leslie--

I'm glad the letter was helpful.  RWAPs are often a little nerve wracking for all involved.  Just remember not to take it personally -- it is about the book, not the sender or recipient :-)

Account holds are sometimes temporary while the PBS Team gives members a "time out" of sorts.  You might check your credit registry, just in case.  There's no email notifying you when a member returns your credit -- it just appears.

Cheers,

Elizabeth B.

Date Posted: 8/14/2009 4:29 PM ET
Member Since: 1/12/2009
Posts: 4,412
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Thanks, Elizabeth - honestly having your sample letter to copy helped so much!  I thought the tone was just right & that was important to me. :)

Date Posted: 8/15/2009 12:50 PM ET
Member Since: 7/7/2007
Posts: 4,815
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<<I dread reading her response to this RWAP.  If it's snarky or mean, I'm not responding to it or pursuing it further.>>

If it is snarky or mean, report it to the PBS team -- rude or abusive PMs aren't permitted here.

Besides, you used my letter -- nobody's ever been snarky to my logic :)

Cheers,

Elizabeth