Discussion Forums - Love & Romance Love & Romance

Topic: Did you ever get an uncomfortable response ...

Club rule - Please, if you cannot be courteous and respectful, do not post in this forum.
Page:   Unlock Forum posting with Annual Membership.
Subject: Did you ever get an uncomfortable response ...
Date Posted: 1/8/2010 4:18 PM ET
Member Since: 1/23/2009
Posts: 468
Back To Top

Or a nasty response from a pbs member after asking them in a personal message if they would consider giving a deal on a multiple order of books? I have generally gotten very nice responses, even if they aren't interested. However, on two occasions (one very recently), members responded as though I were insulting them by asking. Very uncomfortable!  

Last Edited on: 1/8/10 4:19 PM ET - Total times edited: 2
Date Posted: 1/8/2010 4:28 PM ET
Member Since: 8/23/2007
Posts: 26,510
Back To Top

I've never PM'd anyone asking them for a deal. I wouldn't take it personally though, especially if they don't hang out on the forums.  The majority of PBS members do not hang out onthe forums and just don't know that people do deals.  Also some people are die hard 1 credit for 1 book/no deals ever. 

How much a deal did you ask?   I have a lot of books in my TBR so I never ask anyone for deals because I mostly only order WL books. If I'm looking for multiple non WL books that go with a series than I make a post in teh Bookshelf thread or the BB with what I'm looking for and ask if anyone wants to deal.   Anyway if someone PM'd me and asked for a 3 for 1 deal, I might be insulted.  With the postage rates now 1 credit wouldn't really cover the cost to mail 3 books unless they were like little series romances. 

I woujldn't take it personally unless they sent a really, really nasty message back when you asked. 

Date Posted: 1/8/2010 4:30 PM ET
Member Since: 6/21/2008
Posts: 6,571
Back To Top

I got two really irritated answers recently.  One gal was really pissed that I would even ask such a thing!  I made it a point not to remember who either of them are so it won't affect my dealings with anyone here.  I just thought, they must be newbies.

Date Posted: 1/8/2010 4:33 PM ET
Member Since: 5/3/2006
Posts: 6,436
Back To Top

I had such a bad experience the first time I tried it (had to mark the falling apart book RWAP and she accused me of doing it "to get my free book") that I only do it with people I know from the forums.

Date Posted: 1/8/2010 5:24 PM ET
Member Since: 6/19/2008
Posts: 5,769
Back To Top

Margaret , I know how you feel. I've been searching for books on my reminder list for awhile and even put my list in the thread " What books are you looking for" but I've only gotten a few reply's( which I do appreciate )  anyway , I started to look them up and if I find someone with at least 2  I do ask for a deal. But never more then a 2/1 deal. I've gotten mostly nice reply's some even offer 3/1 on the Harlequin / Silhouette. One lady , when I asked if she would do a 2/1 on her Blaze, she responded , Sure hun , what ones...lol   sweet lady.

I have gotten some NOT so nice people , One lady replyed " I dont know what a deal is but, if your asking for 2 books for 1 credit  Then NO " I thank them and move on.I'm really starting to think like Mary said the majority of PBS members are not active in the forums and dont understand what deals are . or there just die hard 1 / 1 credit people. But there is no reason to be rude to those who ask.


I'm always open to deal...JIC

Date Posted: 1/8/2010 6:17 PM ET
Member Since: 10/28/2008
Posts: 3,529
Back To Top

I have had a few that were off the deep end with their responses, I always make it a point to send a pm back thanking them and wishing them a great day.  I am always open for deals.


Lisa check my shelf if I have anything from your reminder list I would be happy to talk a deal with you ( and I will do it politely)  LOL

Date Posted: 1/8/2010 7:27 PM ET
Member Since: 6/21/2008
Posts: 6,571
Back To Top

Funny, that I have had three other members PM me and ask what feebies and deals are.  I have explained it as best as possible and suggested that they participate on the forums a little to get the idea.  One person PMed me that she was overwhelmed by the book bazaar!  I told her it is only books...... ONLY BOOKS she said.....

One gal accused me of testing her honesty by asking her to break the rules!  She told me that "they" told her to be on the look-out for people like me and turn me into the administration.   LOL

Subject: Response
Date Posted: 1/8/2010 8:01 PM ET
Member Since: 3/23/2009
Posts: 49
Back To Top

No, I haven't gotten an awkward or rude response to a request for a credit deal (I might ask if they turn down a BOB). I find most people are willing to consider (at least) 2/1 or sometimes more if they have a larger collection, or are unlikely to get a credit request for a title (say an older one with many copies in the system). And some people go above and beyond the norm; recently I had a WL request go through, and the lady not only told me to pick another title off her shelf, she sent me another in the series as a surprise ! I guess the only way to handle someone who is rude about denying your request would be to polite and move on. No sense in making it worse.

Date Posted: 1/8/2010 8:06 PM ET
Member Since: 9/21/2009
Posts: 1,179
Back To Top

Yep, I did.  On the very first one I asked for too.  Then just lately, when I asked, she was willing but wasn't sure it was legal.  I mentioned checking out the book baazar and then the deal went smoothly.  Then I've just had the standard "ignore" response too.  Oh well....

Date Posted: 1/8/2010 9:52 PM ET
Member Since: 2/28/2008
Posts: 2,553
Back To Top

I just gave someone a deal like this today. I'm always happy to deal because I like to keep my books moving. FIFO doesn't always move fast enough for me! I'd certainly never be rude to someone who asked!

Date Posted: 1/8/2010 10:18 PM ET
Member Since: 10/19/2007
Posts: 1,028
Back To Top

People just don't get it.  That's why I like trading here and in our own forum threads for wishing and stuff. 

Date Posted: 1/8/2010 10:21 PM ET
Member Since: 1/23/2009
Posts: 468
Back To Top

I guess it makes sense that some people who aren't familiar with the idea of credit deals might be uncomfortable by the request. I agree - there is still no need to be nasty about it lol. I generally don't specify what deal I would like just ask if they would be willing to offer a deal and then leave it up to them. I have on occasion requested a 2 for 1. The two times I got negative responses I just replied that it wasn't a problem and thanked them for responding. I'm always a little leary now of asking just because I don't want to offend.

Subject: I let them name the deal...
Date Posted: 1/9/2010 12:48 AM ET
Member Since: 4/2/2009
Posts: 137
Back To Top

I pick someone who has several books I'd like, and I ask if they ever do any deals... such as 2 for 1, 3 for 1, 5 for 2, etc...... (referring them to the book bazaar if they don't know what I'm talking about)..............  I don't suggest any numbers I just tell them they have a great shelf and that if they'd be willing to do any deals, please let me know.  I feel like if they get to name the deal, they're less likely to feel offended.  SO FAR (knock on wood) I haven't gotten any angry or rude responses....


Date Posted: 1/9/2010 3:17 AM ET
Member Since: 1/7/2008
Posts: 423
Back To Top

I haven't gotten a really rude response, but I have gotten about 2 really pert responses like "no" and "I would lose 2 credits". I think maybe I too blatantly ask a lot of people for deals (I spend way too much time on this website :D). I'm always willing to offer deals on my shelf though, since I ask so many people for the same. I have generally been lucky though, and gotten most of the deals I asked for.

Date Posted: 1/9/2010 9:07 AM ET
Member Since: 10/6/2009
Posts: 296
Back To Top

I'm on the total other end of the spectrum - I  once did 11 books for one credit just so I could get them out of my house!  I've never asked anyone for a deal - I mainly just post to the BB or here saying I'm looking for a deal on these books.  I usually get a good response. 

Date Posted: 1/9/2010 9:29 AM ET
Member Since: 8/11/2007
Posts: 597
Back To Top

I asked a member once if she would do a 2 for 1 on  the young adult books I wanted for my niece and her response made me feel like I had insulted her. I still ordered  one book from her though.


"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."    MAYA ANGELOU

Last Edited on: 1/9/10 11:23 AM ET - Total times edited: 1
Date Posted: 1/9/2010 10:54 AM ET
Member Since: 1/20/2007
Posts: 7,052
Back To Top

The one time I asked I got the ignore response, too. I have a header on my bookshelf that says I'm willing to do deals, just ask.

Date Posted: 1/9/2010 11:05 AM ET
Member Since: 8/30/2008
Posts: 2,207
Back To Top

I've never asked for a deal from anyone and once I offered a free book by the same author someone was requesting and she was happy about the little deal.

I don't have all that many books on my Shelf right now and I'm not into doing BOB but if anyone wants a 2-1 or 3-1 from my tiny selection I'd be willing - the only problem is I can't get to the post office all the time, sometimes only once or twice a month since I work full-time so I'm hesitant about getting involved in a deal that could take days to complete.

One time when I was talking about purging certain authors from my TBR one member PM'd me asking for first refusal on a certain author when/if I decided to ditch her books; unfortunately I haven't even begun to read/ditch that author so though I'd be willing to deal with the other member, I'm not quite ready yet.

Gotta get more books on my Shelf - maybe that would draw more interest. :P


Date Posted: 1/9/2010 12:55 PM ET
Member Since: 1/27/2009
Posts: 753
Back To Top

Almost all of the times that I've asked for a deal, people (even if they're not interested) have responded pretty nicely. I've only gotten one weird response - I asked someone if they would be willing to make a deal - there were 2-3 Harlequins I was interested in. She responded back that she wasn't a business and that the books that were on her shelf were books that she had read and didn't want to keep and would eventually go to Goodwill. Huh?

Date Posted: 1/9/2010 2:44 PM ET
Member Since: 6/19/2008
Posts: 5,769
Back To Top

Bertie , ..LOL

I'll come take a look at your shelf, thanks

Date Posted: 1/9/2010 6:15 PM ET
Member Since: 10/28/2008
Posts: 3,529
Back To Top

anytime Lisa    lol   

Date Posted: 1/9/2010 7:21 PM ET
Member Since: 6/18/2005
Posts: 30
Back To Top

Not completely off topic, but it is hard when people go off the deep end when you ask a question.

I've never been PM'd requesting a deal and I've been doing this for years (not at high volume, though).  I can't imagine it happens all the time to requestees.   What's wrong with a "no thanks, I prefer not to do deals"?    The only good news is that you've probably weeded out some people you wouldn't want to hang out with...


Date Posted: 1/9/2010 10:09 PM ET
Member Since: 1/11/2007
Posts: 1,646
Back To Top

It would never even occur to me to ask such a thing.  All books are one credit a book unless the person offering the books says otherwise.  Nonetheless, you shouldn't have gotten a nasty response to an inquiry.  I think I did have somebody ask once, and I just politely said, "no, sorry."

Date Posted: 1/10/2010 11:01 AM ET
Member Since: 1/25/2009
Posts: 181
Back To Top

I've asked a few times, especially on certain children's books. I always word it as "would you consider .... and always add, " if not, thanks for letting me know either way".  I hope I never get a rude response, or have someone feel insulted.... so far they've all been happy to grant me a deal.  (These books are also cheaper to mail in bundles).


Date Posted: 1/10/2010 3:07 PM ET
Member Since: 8/9/2007
Posts: 4,058
Back To Top

I'm always offering so if I'm asked, it's usually by someone who clicked "order more from this member" and then missed the deal ad on my shelf header.  I usually just tell those people what deals I'm offering.  As far as asking goes, I never have done that.  I don't see anything wrong with asking, but I think you have to bear in mind that not everyone can afford to offer deals; they could buy all of their books new & be on a budget, etc.  Two for one can cut it close enough, and I get most of my books used.